


Chasing Down The Gods

by meqhanory



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-03-26 14:47:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 65,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3854662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meqhanory/pseuds/meqhanory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Raven meets Abby, they both assume it will be a one night thing. However, when Raven walks into class at her university only to see Abby teaching it, it becomes clear that things maybe were not meant for one night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The tug on her arm was quick, a pout coming from the blue eyed brunette next to her.

“Come on, we never go to the bar.”

“We went _yesterday_ , Octavia.”

Pushing out her bottom lip, Octavia pouted, pulling Raven’s arm once more. “Pretty please? Bell promised free drinks!”

Laughing, Raven gave in and allowed her friend to drag her towards the bar across the street. “With that promise, he’ll be out of business by the end of the night.”

The night before classes began was certainly one of the boring ones. Though, to be fair, the entire week has been boring. Octavia’s idea of “fun” involved going to bars and getting smashed after a long day of doing absolutely nothing. The only real benefit of being out tonight would be seeing Bellamy.

The chill of the coastal town air hit Raven’s arm lit a speeding bullet as the wind picked up, causing her to shiver.

“Just get us in quickly, it’s freezing.”

“It wouldn’t be if you’d worn your jacket,” Octavia replied in a sing-song voice, pushing open the doors to the bar.

The bar was dark and quieter than Raven had been expecting. While there were several patrons at the various booths, tables, and a few at the bar itself; it was quieter than Raven was used to for a bar.

_Certainly not in Texas anymore._

Though, that was one of the benefits. The entire reason she had moved here was to escape the crowds of people that surrounded her. Well, that and being with her friends who she hadn’t seen in years.

“Raven!”

A call from the bartender snapped her from her thoughts and back into reality. Smirking, she made her way to the bar, sliding into one of the bar stools.

“Hey bartender,” she said with a wink. “What’ve you got for me?”

“Only the best,” Bellamy said with a grin, pulling a bottle of beer from under the counter and popping the cap off with ease. “The hell are you doing here anyway? Don’t you have classes tomorrow?”

Rolling her eyes, Raven gestured to Octavia, who was chatting away with the people she could only assume were her friends. “Your alcoholic of a sister told me to.”

Picking up a glass and pulling the rag from his shoulder, Bellamy shook his head. “Yes well, that’s because she’s hopeful our new bartender becomes her new thing… We’ll see what comes of that.”

“New bartender?” Her eyebrows rose in question. “How do you have the money for that?”

The bartender shrugged, eyes trained on the glass before him. “Considering it’s only myself and Miller, I figure we have room for someone else.” He put the glass down. “Plus, I need someone to cover for me. These good looks can’t stay behind the bar forever.”

“Cocky,” Raven mumbled, taking a sip of beer. “Just like your sister.”

Bellamy shrugged and smiled, moving away from Raven as to tend to the rest of the bar.

Spinning in her bar stool to turn and face the rest of the bar, Raven’s eyes immediately went to Octavia. The woman was sitting closer than necessary to whom Raven had originally assumed was a friend. However, as Octavia’s fingers stretched across the man’s chest and her eye twinkled in the dark light, Raven couldn’t help but smile.

_Let’s see how quickly Bell scares the new bartender away._

Her eyes continued to travel around the bar, scoping out the scene. This was not where she had been a week before, that’s for certain. A week earlier, she felt hot sun on her skin and wore minimal clothing to survive the sweltering heat that surrounded her. Now, she found herself in a breezy and chilled coastal town where everyone smiled at each other with Mom and Pop shops on every other corner. No, this certainly wasn’t what she had known for the past 20 years of her life.

But maybe, that was a good thing.

Raven continued to scan the crowd, eyeing those she would now be living around. A pair of guys towards the door, with beards that reminded Raven of lumberjacks and thick, black rimmed glasses. She could only assume them as fellow students, and her eyes travelled. A few couples, several elderly men who just looked angry, but then her eyes stopped.

In the back corner table sat a lone woman, whose fingers circled the rim of her small glass. With brown hair with streaks of gold and eyes that appeared training and focused, Raven felt an instant pull. Without thinking her hands gripped the neck of her bottle and legs moved her across the bar, eyes never leaving the woman before her. Part of her mind was asking her to stop, but the other reminded her of Octavia’s fingers across a man’s chest and _I want one more night of fun_.

Legs won over the mind and Raven was now standing at the small table where the woman sat, her eyes still trained on her glass. She was here now, there wasn’t really any going back.

Clearing her throat, Raven spoke, “Hey.”

The woman looked up, a soft smile gracing her lips and Raven felt her heart skip. “Hey yourself.”

Gesturing toward the free seat across from her, Raven smiled. “Mind if I join you?”

Shaking her head, the woman leaned back into her own chair and gestured toward the same chair. “Not at all. I wouldn’t mind the company, actually.”

Sliding into the chair, Raven took another swig of her beer, relaxing as she stretched out her leg. “I’m Raven.”

“Abby,” the woman replied, the same smile still on her lips.

At first, it looked like Abby was attempting to appear polite. But now, with a slightly better view of her face, Raven could see intrigue and kindness, but predominantly curiosity.

_Is she not used to getting hit on?_

As Abby’s fingers resumed tracing the rim of her glass, Raven took a moment to appraise her before speaking. “What bring someone like you to a bar like this on a Wednesday night?”

The fingers stopped and Abby raised an eyebrow. “Someone like me?”

“Pencil skirt, a blouse that costs more than I make in a month, heels that are more likely classified as weapons of mass destruction… And a bar that’s so dark most of us have developed night vision.”

“The darkness helps me blend in though, don’t you think?” Abby replied with a grin, crossing her legs. “But fair enough. And what brings someone like you into a bar like this on a Wednesday night?”

Raven opened her mouth to reply, but in a tank top that obviously makes her stand out in this weather, she knew she had no reply. “Touché, then. I’m not from here, I just moved here from Texas.”

Nodding, Abby leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table. “Why here?”

“Family,” Raven replied, eyes shifting quickly from cleavage that just came into view to the eyes of the woman before her.

Licking her lips, Abby took a sip of her drink. “I guess that makes sense.”

The pair finished their drinks in silence, but then Raven raised her hand. “Bartender, shots for the lady and I, please!”

Bellamy waved in response and Abby rose an eyebrow, eyes darting to Raven. “Shots?”

The brunette nodded. “You need to loosen up. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Grinning at the question, Abby nodded, licking her lips and straightening her back. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were challenging me.”

As Bellamy set the two glasses of brown liquid before them, Raven chuckled. “Oh, but I am.”

The pair picked up their glasses, tapping them against one another before knocking them back. Raven let out a gasp, slamming down the glass before looking to Abby. She simply smirked, turning the glass over after she had finished.

“You sure you want to do this?” Abby asked, spinning the upside down glass on the table.

As the next round of shots were brought out, Raven shook her head. “You’re the one who should be worried,” she said coolly, drinking the next shot with ease.

 

* * *

 

As the night wore on, the shots died down, as did the already rather dead atmosphere of the bar. Octavia had left with the man she had been sitting with an hour ago, which meant Raven would be crashing in the studio about the bar tonight. Which is why Bellamy had thrown Raven the keys not long after Octavia left.

It was funny how, despite not being around the Blake siblings for so long, things fell right back into place.

Or well, most things.

The pair had moved from the table to the bar, with Raven pouring shots from her spot opposite Abby, behind the bar, continuing their shot duel.

Giggling, Abby pushed the small bowl of peanuts around the bar top. “When will you admit my victory?”

Raven grinned sloppily, attempting to pour another two shots and missing the glasses entirely, whiskey spilling across the freshly cleaned surface. Covering her mouth to stifle both laughter and horror, Raven’s eyes darted to Abby’s. “Bell is going to kill me.”

“So I win by default.” Stepping away from the stool and standing, Abby took a shaky bow to the nonexistent audience.

Scoffing, Raven put down the mostly empty bottle of whiskey, pulling out the rag Bellamy had been using all night to wipe away the remnants of their supposed shots. “Please, you wish.”

Laughing, Abby slid back into the stool, resting her head in her hand and her elbow on the freshly cleaned, although slightly sticky, counter. “Okay, fine. But you nor I can pour shots. So who wins?”

Pursing her lips, Raven’s eyes immediately lit up, grabbing two bottles of beer from under the bar, twisting off the cap of each. “Whoever finishes their bottle of beer first is the one who wins.”

Abby made a face, taking the bottle from Raven. “I’m not really a beer fan.”

“Ah, so you forfeit?”

Meeting Raven’s eyes, Abby shook her head. “Definitely not.” Abby took a quick sip, making the same face she had previously before setting down the bottle. “You know, there never was a prize for whoever wins.”

Lifting her eyes to the other woman, Raven nodded. “True… Did you have something in mind?”

Biting her bottom lip, Abby nodded. “Whoever finishes last, has to do something the victor wants. Simple as that.”

Narrowing her eyes, Raven considered the risks for a moment. Her mind was inebriated, but she could decipher the safety in this wager none the less.

“Alright, deal. Just nothing illegal.”

Raising her hand in promise, as though in a trial rather than a drinking contest, Abby nods. “Deal.”

Raven takes a gulp of her beer, savoring the sweetness as it runs down her throat. The hard liquor the pair had been drinking for the past couple of hours had burned Raven’s throat, but the soothing feeling of the beer cooled the once fiery burn.

“What did bring you here?” Raven begins, setting her beer down for a moment, “You never did answer my question.”

Pressing her lips together, Abby runs her nail down the neck of her bottle. “Well tonight is my ex’s night with our daughter and as I was leaving he said I needed to ‘live a little.’ So I figured a bar was the best place to go.”

Nodding, Raven took another sip of her beer. “What would you be doing otherwise?”

Shrugging, Abby took her own sip, running fingers through her hair. “Honestly? Working. I like keeping myself busy.”

“I understand that,” Raven mumbled with a chuckle. “I didn’t want to even come out tonight, honestly.”

“Then why did you?”

“I was dragged out by my friend after officially unpacking the final box,” Raven replies with a sigh, shaking her head.

Chuckling, Abby nods. “Oh yes, I saw her. The one who was falling over the new bartender. Lincoln, I think.”

Raven nods, “Yep, that’s her.”

Raven goes to take another drink of her beer, only to see it empty. The sound of a soft clap of hands hit her ears, her eyes shifting to see Abby applauding her.

“I guess you win,” Abby says with fake disappointment. “What shall I be subjected to? Cleaning the bathroom of this bar? Forced to finish this dreadful beer? Or perhaps-”

“Kiss me.”

Abby paused, furrowing her brows as she scanned over Raven’s. Raven wondered what Abby was searching for, but kept their gaze locked. Raven wasn’t kidding.

Which, it seemed, is what Abby had been hoping for.

Leaning forward on the bar counter, Abby paused, licking her lips. They weren’t far apart from each other now, lips just inches from touching.

“Kiss me,” Raven repeats, softer and more quiet this time.

Raven's eyes flutter shut and before she can take a breath Abby's lips are on hers. The kiss is soft and gentle and Raven feels her heart quicken. Her tongue darts out against the older woman's lips, begging for entrance that's granted almost immediately. Abby tastes of whiskey and it reminds her of the burn she had had in her throat just moments before, but now the burn is welcomed and sweet.

Raven feels Abby's fingers curl into her hair, fingers and nails scraping against her skull and she can't hold back the whimper at how good it feels. Her hands respond, trailing up Abby's neck and pulling her as close as she could with the bar counter digging into her stomach.

Abby's tongue flicks against the roof of Raven's mouth and Raven digs her nails into the older woman’s neck in response. A moan emitted from Abby's mouth and a chill went down Raven’s spine, her nails digging in more.

Tongues continued to duel, hands grasping as neck and hair to seek some form of relief and have more. The remembrance of needing oxygen is what finally caused the two to break from their kiss. Abby's fingers were still tangled in black locks, and Raven's hands had moved to Abby's shoulders, gripping at the fabric of her blouse.

Their foreheads rested against one another. Raven breathed deeply in attempts to catch her breath, lips pressing gentle kisses against Abby's jawline after every few moments. Silence permeated the air, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Just the sound of their soft breathing and lips meeting skin.

“Want to go upstairs?” Raven whispers against Abby’s skin, teeth nipping at it gently.

A squeak came from Abby and all she could do was nod in response, fingers untangling from Raven’s hair.

Raven moved around the bar, grabbing the keys Bellamy had left for her on the table before moving back to Abby, taking her hand into her own. The brunette scanned her face, watching Abby’s darkening eyes and a tongue dart out and lick parched lips. When Raven feels the squeeze in her hand, she finally moves to the stairs that are in the back near the storage closet where Bellamy keeps all the extra stock.

The stairs creaked with their steps, and Abby seemed to linger a bit behind her as they made their way up. If Raven hadn’t been told that this studio was safe and not creepy like the stairs leading to it, she would be hesitant as well. But with key in lock and a quick turn of the wrist, the two were inside the studio.

It was mostly bare, that much Raven could make out in the darkness. It was used mostly as a place to crash for the bartenders if the nights went on too long and they didn’t want to travel home. And now it’s being used as a place to crash because Raven wouldn’t be welcomed in the dorm that Octavia and her share anyway with the way Lincoln and her had been making eyes.

Plus, she really didn’t want to take Abby back to a college dorm. Not the sexiest thing she’d do.

There’s a bed that looks too nice for the apartment, along with what is the basic dictionary term for “kitchen,” but at the moment Raven thinks it hardly passes.

She feels the hand in her own slip away and Raven turns to Abby as she shuts the door with her heel. As the soft click sounds, the pair are immediately on one another again.

Raven feels Abby’s chest against her own and fingers grasping at the tank and immediately there are too many clothes and she’s constricted. She pulls back and pulls the tank over her head, throwing it carelessly and her mouth is on Abby’s again.

As tongues duel, Raven begins to guide them towards the bed, moving as quickly as she can while still feeling Abby’s waist against her own.

The back of her knees hit the edge of the mattress and she feels Abby break away. She’s confused for a moment until a gentle hand pushes Raven back and she falls to the mattress, sitting up immediately to look at the woman standing before her. The way Abby just grins at her and winks, Raven feels the pressure building and has to bite her lip from any noise that might come out.

Abby untucks and begins slowly unbuttoning her blouse from the bottom up, and as soon as skin came into view, Raven’s lips were on it. Nipping and biting Abby’s navel, Raven felt her pause for a moment, only to hasten her unbuttoning and tossing the blouse over a nearby chair. Her fingers go back into Raven’s hair and nails scrape against her head, harsher than before. The moan cannot be held back and a breathy groan is released against Abby’s taut stomach.

Raven’s fingers move to the zipper of the skirt in the back, tracing down Abby’s spine as it comes undone. Abby moans and Raven feels like she could come then and there from that noise alone. She pushes the skirt down and revels at the feeling of smooth thighs under her fingertips. The brunette nips at where skin and panties meet, the nails digging in before pulling her hair. Raven pulls back and mimics the grin Abby had moments before and she struggles with her jeans in the dark and feels a frustrated grunt escape her lips because the damned jeans won’t come off.

“Struggling a bit?” Abby laughs out, covering her mouth with her fingers to control herself.

Raven rolls her eyes and it dawns on her that her stupid brace and boots are the reason she’s struggling so. She undoes the clasp of her braces and sets it aside before kicking her boots off with her good leg and the jeans follow and her hands reach to Abby again.

Abby’s eyes are trained on the discarded brace, however, studying it like it’s foreign and new and for a moment, Raven panics. She doesn’t want this to stop because of her brace but then Abby’s eyes meet hers and instead of pity and the usual “I’m so sorry but,” Abby’s lips meet hers once again as though nothing has happened. Raven breaks apart from the lips, already missing the feeling of them against her own, moving up the bed and encouraging the older woman to join her.

Abby reaches for her heels and Raven stops her, “Wait… Keep them on.”

She raises an eyebrow, but releases her heel anyway before moving onto the bed on all fours. Raven’s mouth dried at the sight of Abby moving like a cat stalking its prey, slowly and with promise, until her lips met Raven’s again. It began as it had in the bar, with a gentle kiss and a tongue that begged entry. It escalated just as quickly, with Abby’s free hand moving up and down Raven’s torso and the brunette reaching her hands around the other’s back. Her fingers ran along her spine and dug in, Abby’s waist thrusting forward into Raven’s as she did so. The moan that escaped Raven’s lips definitely pleased Abby, or she could at least assume when Abby grounded her hips into once again.

Fingers grasped at Abby's bra clasp, Raven unhooking it in a quick movement and feeling it fall against her chest. Her mouth broke from Abby’s and she shifted them, flipping Abby over onto her back.

Sitting back on her heels, Raven breathlessly looked down to the nearly naked woman before her. Fingers traced down Abby’s cheek and thumb brushed against pale pink lips. As she did so, Abby’s lips parted and she bit down gently on the thumb, tongue dashing across the tip. The movement caused Raven’s eyes to darken and she leaned back down, kissing Abby’s neck with ferocity.

She moved down Abby’s body slowly, fingers tracing across the newfound skin of her breasts, pinching pale nipples to elicit the soft and strangled mmmh from the woman below her. Her lips moved down, kissing across the expanse of Abby’s abdomen, savoring as Abby squirmed with need and an unspoken please. Raven couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her lips, tickling the newly wet skin. Fingers trailed down to Abby’s waist, tugging away the damp piece of fabric that separated Raven from her goal.

When lips finally met the apex of Abby’s thighs, Raven was thankful they were the only ones in left in the building. Her tongue traced her slit, savoring the taste and releasing a moan. Abby arched her back and Raven gripped her waist, nails digging into her hip bones, keeping her in place as her lips wrapped around the other woman’s clit. The point of Abby’s heels dug into Raven’s back as teeth scraped against the sensitive piece of flesh and she reveled in the feeling of Abby’s fingers tangled back into her hair, pulling her impossibly closer.

Raven pulled back and there was a desperate sigh from Abby, which only caused the younger of the two to smirk. Arching her back, Raven unclasped her bra, letting it fall from her shoulders. Abby’s eyes were predatory, watching as Raven’s hands moved down to remove her panties. She lifted her knees, discarding them somewhere near her bra. In that moment of predator gazing and lip licking, Raven almost felt self-conscious, feeling like a piece of meat. But then Abby sat up and met Raven’s lips. Kisses were desperate, as though they alone would satisfy the burning urges between their legs.

Abby traced her fingers up Raven’s inner thighs, eliciting a soft cry of _Abby_ as fingers slid close to wet heat. A single finger slid inside, causing Raven to break from the kiss and tilt her head back at the relief of being touched. A second finger was added and Raven let the name slip from her lips again as her hips moved in unison with skilled digits. Her lips met again with Abby’s, trying to kiss with staggered breathing. The taste of Abby still masked her tongue, and mixed with the lingering taste of whisky, she felt her head spin and her entire body about to burst.

Hips became desperate, grinding quicker against fingers. Abby’s kisses moved down from lips to Raven’s neck, licking and sucking and biting at her pulse point. In Raven’s head, she knew there would be a mark but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“ _Please_ ,” Raven breathed desperately. She didn’t even know what she was begging for at this point, but when she felt the swipe of Abby’s thumb over her clit, her grinding stopped, and a flash of white came over her eyes. A string of “yes, god, Abby, yes,” came out in quick repetition before the wave finished.

Her eyes fluttered open and it dawned on her how her nails had dug into Abby’s shoulders, leaving angry red marks. The look on Abby’s face alone - cocky grin and dark eyes- was almost enough to make Raven come again. Then fingers slid out from Raven and Abby took them into her mouth, the sweetest moan still loud enough for ears over lips and fingers.

Pushing Abby onto her back once more, Raven was quick to slide her fingers into sweet heat she had only tasted moments before. Abby’s arms reached out, grabbing Raven and pulling her close. Raven could taste herself on Abby’s tongue and she moaned into her mouth, biting down on Abby’s bottom lip.

Abby’s arms reached around Raven, attempting to grip and hold anything as Raven thrust into her. Nails dug into the skin of her back and Abby’s heels were once against pushing into Raven’s back, pinching the skin. Raven pushed her hips behind her hand, pushing fingers deeper as sweet nothings of “more, faster, harder, fuck, _Raven_ ,” were hissed into her ear with each movement.

A third finger slid in and Abby let out a soft cry, biting down on Raven’s shoulder in attempt to muffle it, muscles contracting as she came against the fingers inside her.

Fingers slowed as Abby rode out her orgasm before Raven pulled her fingers out, wiping them against the other woman’s thigh.

Moving off of Abby and lying besides her, breathing heavily as she looked up to the ceiling. The chill in the studio finally began to hit her wet skin, causing her to shiver. Still, she let out a soft laugh, rolling on her side to look at Abby.

“That was fun.”

Abby chuckled, rolling her eyes as she turned to face Raven. “You can say that, yes.”

Scanning down the body before her, Raven licked dry lips. “Wanna do it again?”

The reply was quick with lips locking once again and soft giggles escaping their lips.

 

* * *

 

The loud pounding on the door is what wakes Raven, causing her to groan and pull a pillow over her head. The light was too bright and the noise from the banging and insistent “Raven open the goddamn door!” was drilling her mind into remembrance of just how much she drank last night.

“Oh my god, the door is _open_ , Octavia!” Raven shouted, though it was slightly muffled by her face burying into the mattress.

The door swung open and slammed against the wall, causing Raven to remove the pillow from her head and turn it to see Octavia standing there. Her eyes go from anger, to confusion, to wicked as a grin comes over her lips as she eyes the room.

For a moment, Raven is confused, until she shifts under the sheets and feels them move against bare skin. The familiar ache between her legs and the sting of scratches marking her back causes her to smile, recalling the other woman. The room was empty except for Octavia and Raven, however, which meant the woman had left long before… Whatever time it was.

“Someone banged the hot lady,” Octavia says, eyebrows wiggling as she grabs Raven’s clothing from across the room. “And apparently, you practiced your throwing arm.”

“Shut up,” Raven hissed, sitting up with sheets covering her chest. “Why are you even here?”

“We have class together in about…" she looked at her phone, "an hour,” Octavia replies simply, placing the clothes on the foot of the bed, along with a small duffle, before walking to the two chaired dining table. She sat with her back to Raven, allotting her some privacy. “And if I didn’t come get you, you’d sleep all day, from how you look right now.”

Slipping from the covers, Raven opened the duffle and smiled slightly. Fresh clothing, like Octavia had already known what she’d walk in on. Perhaps Bellamy had told her, she thought as she pulled on panties and bra. “Yeah, yeah. You can turn around now.”

When Octavia does, her mouth drops. “Damn, that old lady did a number on you.”

“What?” Raven looked down, seeing red marks and a few hickeys. Perhaps there should be shame, but Raven just smirks. “ _Oh_. And she’s not old, she's like... 30, I bet. Shut it, Blake.”

Raven struggles with the jeans a bit, feeling the heaviness of her left leg. She sees Octavia begin to stand to help her, but a quick glare is all it takes for Octavia to sit right back down.

“How was sexy, ripped man who wore a shirt too tight for his muscles?” Raven asks, masking her slight struggle with the question.

It works, as Octavia’s eyes light up and she sighs happily. “Very nice. His name is Lincoln, he’s the new bartender.”

“So I’ve been told.”

Octavia rose an eyebrow, “By who?”

“Abby. She mentioned it last night.”

The other eyebrow shot up and Octavia whistled. “Did you two also discuss your life dreams and morals on how to raise children?”

Picking up the pillow beside her, Raven threw it at Octavia, who just laughed as she caught it.

“God, you’re such a pain. I don’t know who is worse, you or your brother,” Raven grumbled out, pulling the shirt over her head, thankful for sleeves, before pulling the brace over her leg and adjusting it. She was shocked she hadn’t damaged it in her haste to remove it last night. “What’s our first class that you’re dragging me to anyway?”

“Advance Human Anatomy. And I’ll remind you that you were the one who suggested we take this class together.”

“I’m hating myself for it already.”

 

* * *

 

They should’ve left the bar earlier, Raven knows that now, as they arrive onto campus in what Bellamy has dubbed “The Tank.” They wouldn’t have been late if Octavia hadn’t insisted on stopping for breakfast, but that was beside the point at this rate. They were late but not late enough they’d be noticed, or at least that was their hope.

The pair was moving as quickly as they could toward their class, which just had to be on the end of campus that was impossible to reach by road. The relief was brief when they entered the building their class was located in, sighing as they glanced to Octavia’s phone for the room number.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Octavia.”

“You registered us, Raven!”

“Is there an elevator at least?”

“Well…”

“God fucking-”

By the time they made it outside the lecture hall, Raven and Octavia are both out of breath.

“Fifteen minutes late. We won’t be noticed, right?” Octavia breathes out.

Raven shakes her head, straightening herself. “No, not at all.”

Opening the door, Raven steps aside to let Octavia slip in. Octavia is quick to her seat, but Raven stops in the doorway as she looks to the professor. Her back is turned to the classroom as she writes something on the whiteboard, something about the syllabus, Raven assumes. Her hair is tied up in a slightly messy bun and there’s something about the woman that seems so familiar.

“To the two who just walked in, I ask you either be on time or not come at all.”

Raven froze when the woman turned around, meeting familiar eyes. Eyes that had burrowed under her skin and claimed it hers over and over again the night before. The woman, on the other hand, looked unphased.

_Does she not even remember last night?_

Regardless of if she did or didn’t, Raven knew she would’ve seen her when she left. And yet, there she was, a hard look of any other university professor.

“If you’re going to stand at the door, then please leave. Otherwise, take a seat next to the other woman who tried to sneak in with you as well.”

Raven blindly nodded, tearing her view from the woman she had slept with- her professor, and moved to the empty seat next to Octavia.

As Abby- the professor- continued with what she had been doing, Raven looked to Octavia, whose eyes matched Raven’s: wide, confused, but Octavia’s also contained a bit of scandal. Deep down, Raven knew Octavia would say it, but she had been hoping it would be internally said rather than whispered to her.

“You fucked our professor…”

Raven licked her lips, nodding slowly as she gripped the armrests of her chair.

 _Shit_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So I've read all of your comments and honestly, you all are so sweet. I've never felt so welcomed into a fandom, ever. I hope you all continue to read and enjoy the fic! Really, you all are so sweet, it melts my heart.
> 
> My goal is to post weekly, every Friday, before I head off to work. Just a little FYI if you're wondering why I'm posting slightly early

Her pen has been drumming against the open blank page of the notebook for about an hour now and her mind has been traveling faster than she can keep up with. However, the general idea of it all is pretty much the same.

_I slept with my professor._

It’s been about two weeks since she walked into Professor Griffin’s classroom and felt atom bombs explode inside of her. There was no other way to really describe it at this point. She’s been avoiding the class, attempting to find some sort of resolution in all of this. However, there is none. Everything she has tried won’t work, no matter how much she wants it too.

Raven’s initial plan was to just drop the class all together, but since she needed to take it for her major, and Professor Griffin was the only one who taught it, she was stuck. She even tried talking to her advisor in hopes that she could replace this class with another, but still, no luck. Raven was stuck with Professor Griffin, whether she liked it or not.

Still, skipping the class to avoid the woman could really only do so much for her. Regardless, Abby- Professor Griffin, she corrects- is still going to be there. She’s still her professor, and therefore in charge of her grade. She doubted the woman would actually do anything terrible to her grade, but still, talking with Professor Griffin was probably what was best at this point.

The sound of the door opening caused Raven to turn in her chair, smiling as Octavia walks in with an exhausted look marking her face.

“You look tired,” Raven comments, her smile growing wide as Octavia shoots her a glare before kicking the door shut with her foot.

“Hilarious, Reyes. Perhaps you should’ve done comedy instead of bioengineering.”

Letting out a low whistle as Octavia fell face first onto her bed, Raven shook her head. “What crawled up your ass?”

Octavia responded with a groan that was muffled by the mattress, turning her head to Raven after a moment. “Why are politics so confusing?”

“You’re asking me?” Raven rose an eyebrow. “Pretty sure you’re the political science major.”

“Rhetorically, Raven.” Rolling onto her back and staring at the ceiling, Octavia let out another exasperated sigh. “Plus, your fuck buddy gave us a pop quiz.”

“We had sex _once_. Can’t you give me a break?”

“I will when you finally come to the class you forced me to take.”

This had been an ongoing conversation, with Octavia pointing out how Raven’s general fear was doing more harm than good. She was right, Raven knew. Raven looked a little pathetic avoiding the class, especially with how it was affecting her now, let alone in the future. She couldn’t afford to do poorly and need to retake, that just wasn’t something in the cards for her. Her scholarship would be taken and she’d basically screw herself out of a dream. Raven Reyes was better than that, she wouldn’t let a simple one night stand get in the way of that.

Looking to Octavia, Raven nodded, gripping the edge of her seat. “I think I’m going to go talk to her.”

Octavia’s eyebrow shot up, curious and, if Raven hadn’t know better, concerned. “Are you sure? I mean… You’ve not only slept with her, but you’ve been skipping her class. That can’t look too good in any light.”

Biting her bottom lip, Raven nodded, standing up and looking to the round, handmade clock that hung on the wall; a gift from Wick before she left what was once considered home.

“Yeah. Her office hours just started, right? May as well get it over with.”

Sitting up, Octavia nodded, popping her lips. “Yeah, good luck. I can only imagine confronting your one nighter.”

Raven just nodded, grabbing the necessities and her keys before heading out the door.

Octavia could only imagine because she had never been in the situation of needing to confront a one night stand, and if Raven thought about it, she hadn’t either. Forgetting the situation of Abby being her professor, she just wasn’t used to talking to people like this after what was supposed to be one night turned to having to interact on a more frequent basis. The entire situation was crap, but she knew she needed to face it. One way or another, she was screwed. That much she was certain of.

 

* * *

 

Eyes are shifting quickly from computer to papers to file before her, attempting to retain things to memory as to type them out quickly and efficiently. Abby generally likes reading over papers for students who wish to have their work published, but being asked to peer review a work for a fellow colleague, and old friend, warmed her in a completely different way. She needed to grade pop quizzes and assignment, post future assignments that would be due before the midterm, and prepare her lecture slides. Instead, eyes focused on the work before her.

Office hours were a time for students, but since she never had a student walk into her office - especially during the first week of classes - Abby took it as extra time to work. The small pile that rested on her desk was indication enough of her workload, and she could not help but be thankful Jake had Clarke tonight. She loved being with her daughter, and promised she would be there for her more than her own mother had been. Still, having her ex-husband there and able to carry a bit of the weight was more than helpful.

Abby’s eyes finally turned from the paper she was reviewing, setting it aside for a second read through, red pen laying on it. Her hand grabbed the pop quizzes flipping through them quickly before a sigh left her lips. She missed teaching her graduate course for a moment, but there wasn’t much she could do about it now. She owed Callie, big time, and taking on her undergraduate class, from now until whenever Callie wished to return to it, and reading over her submission for a journal truly was the least she could do.

A soft knock on her door interrupted her thoughts, but Abby’s eyes didn’t leave the quizzes before her as she began to mark them with her sharpie. The bold, bright red against white and black always seemed to get her points through to students much better than any thin red pen could.

“Come in,” she said simply, brows slightly furrowed as she looked to responses on the quizzes before her.

 _That is definitely_ not _the scapula._

“Uhm, hey.”

The voice caused her to stop her work and look up, freezing for a moment. In the classroom two weeks ago, she had been able to appear unphased by Raven’s arrival. Now though, alone with the woman for the first time since their night together, she was shaken. In a way, she had been relieved when Raven stopped showing up to class. Perhaps the other woman had dropped her class and there would be no more fear of interaction. That thought had been crushed with Raven’s name still appearing on her attendance sheet. But now, in her office, with Raven’s head poking through the doorway, she felt her confidence shake. Composure in front of many was easier to fake than one on one, where someone can see straight through her mask.  

Regardless, Abby cleared her throat, sitting up straighter and removing the reading glasses she had over her eyes.

“I said you could come in.”

Raven slid into the office, shutting the door behind her. Abby had half the mind to ask Raven to open it again, with their history and all, despite however brief it might’ve been. But she didn’t, her mouth stayed shut. This wouldn’t end the way the night at the bar had, and from the look in Raven’s eyes, she was trying just as hard to mask the anxiety at such a thought.

Abby gestured to one of the chairs in front of her desk, waiting patiently as Raven sat down. The professor watched as Raven’s hands drummed against the wooden armrest of the chair, as though her mind was trying to come up with words.

This was the confrontation she had been dreading, ever since Raven had showed up to her class. Her mind had run over it a million times, just how it would work out. If Raven would be angry and blame her, if Raven would hold that night’s events over her head, and it made her nervous enough to actually type a letter of resignation. But seeing Raven now, the nervousness marking her features, she realized that her student was just as terrified.

After a moment, Abby sighs, resting her head into the palm of her hand, elbow rested on the armrest of her own chair. “I don’t have all day, Miss Reyes.”

Raven looked up, a shocked expression on her face.

“Your name is on my roster,” Abby explains simply, watching the shock fade and relief fill Raven’s features. “Why are you here?”

“You know why,” Raven says with a shrug, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. “Because well… We had sex.”

Pressing her lips together, Abby simply nodded. She hadn’t been expecting Raven to be so blunt about it, but it was out in the open now, no going back.

“And because we had sex, I just wanted to make sure, you know, that we were cool.”

Concern clearly marked Raven’s features, and Abby couldn’t help the sympathy she felt. Raven was in a similar boat in this situation, the difference being that instead of being fired, she could face penalties from the school itself.  

Nodding, Abby sighed. “Yes, we’re fine.” Clearing her throat, she stood, moving around her desk. “However, by that I mean you shouldn’t have any worries about your grade in the class, if that was your main concern. I actually split the class down the middle so I grade the first half of the alphabet and my TA grades the other half.”

The idea had actually come from Callie. Abby wasn’t used to grading things for such a large class, and to get them out in a quick manner, her friend had suggested splitting amount of grading. If Abby were honest, it was just luck that she ended up with the first half of the alphabet, seeing as she and her TA had flipped a coin over it.

Again, relief washed over Raven’s features. “Thank god,” she mumbled, a hand running over her face.

“That said,” Abby continued, “you should still be attending class or just drop. You’ve missed the first two assignments and a pop quiz already. I know it’s only the beginning of the third week, but if you get behind in this class, you will fail.”

Her words aren’t a threat as much as they are a warning. She’s a hard professor, she knows that. But in a world where Abby has always had to prove herself, she sees it as providing the best preparation for her students. Regardless, she also knows most of her students are pre-med or taking this class because it’s required for them. So, she teaches her students as much as she can in her allotted time. It’s rubbed some the wrong way, but the students who end up as doctors or surgeons end up thanking her in the long run.

She watches as Raven’s face falls briefly before it’s replaced with determination.

“Yeah, of course. I get it if I can’t make up the quiz or assignments, but I promise not to skip anymore.”

Abby smiles, nodding her head as she comes around the desk and does a mix of sitting and leaning on the edge of it in front of Raven. “Good. Now, if you like, I can email you the previous slides from the past two week’s lecture. And if you can’t understand the material, my TA, Monty, has his email is on the syllabus and you can set up a meeting with him.”

Raven nods, licking her lips and standing. The main issue at hand had been resolved, thankfully, and without anyone getting hurt with the impending doom of their grade or job hovering overhead.

“Thanks Ab- Professor Griffin.”

She can’t stop her spine from tingling at the name falling from Raven’s lips. Abby was so used to it, hearing it daily from every student she had, but hearing it from someone who had been whispering her name hotly into her ear not too long ago, it filled her abdomen with tension. She wouldn’t let this show however, and she simply nodded in response. She would keep a level head with this situation.

“Yes, of course. I’ll tell Monty to be expecting you.”

Raven nodded and turned, walking to the door. She paused, hand on the handle. Abby waited, expecting to hear the other woman say something, _anything_. Instead, Raven just turned the handle and walked out, shutting it quietly behind her.

A breath Abby had not been aware she was holding in released from her. Raven made her nervous and gave her another feeling she wouldn’t dare admit. But with Raven gone, Abby knew her composure had to be regained. She was her professor, and whatever sort of tension that rested between them still remained, it would fade away. Or, that’s what Abby was hoping. If the former didn’t work, she was confident in the fact that Raven wouldn’t be coming back to her office again. Monty was a competent TA, and fairly knowledgable. She could only hope he would be able to handle the questions Raven would undoubtedly have over the days she missed.

Her mind snapped back as her computer began to make a jingle, brows furrowing as she went to her seat. Her expression immediately changed as she saw it was just Skype, a call coming in from Callie. She had completely forgotten about her promise to chat with her about the paper Callie would be submitting.

Clicking the answer button, Abby smiled sweetly, mind letting thoughts of Raven Reyes and aching feelings fade.

“Hey, Callie.”

“Abby!” her friend responded excitedly, waving at her through the screen. “What’d you think of the paper?”

“Well,” Abby begins, talking to her friend about her paper on late bone fusion. For now, her mind can be set at ease. She’d handle the Raven Reyes dilemma another day.

 

* * *

 

She’d be lying if she said there wasn’t always a tingle of hope every time she sat at this barstool now. It was weird for her to actually keep thinking about that night, especially since she didn’t give any other one nightstand a second thought. But as she traced the label of her beer, Raven could feel every part of her wish to relive that night once more.

For now, she is saying it’s because she sees Abby at least three days a week and she hadn’t had sex before that night in months. Part of her knows there’s more to the story than she’d like to admit, but for now, she drowns that part in a bottle of beer and anxiety over her classes. Or, well, one class.

Raven’s intelligent, she knew that. She’s highly skilled and a prodigy in her field, despite her age and lack of professional training. Still, despite all of that, she found herself struggling in, of course, Professor Griffin’s class. Again, she blamed what was easiest to blame, and that was her inability to focus and her absence during the first two weeks. She tried to understand the material, commit it to memory, but it never stuck. Every time Raven tried to study with Octavia, she found herself distracted as the two switched from the names of the spinal vertebrae to talks of Lincoln and the new girl Bellamy denies he’s dating. So now, she tries to study alone. However that leads to her mind thinking of how all of these terms sound from Abby’s lips and a chill went down her spine.

“Don’t you have a test tomorrow?”

Looking up from the colorful label, Raven nodded. “Yep, but it’s over advanced chemical reactions in one of my chemistry classes, nothing to worry about.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes, pulling out another beer from under the bar, popping the cap open. “Yes, nothing to worry over at all,” he responds, sarcasm thick on his tongue.

Raven just grins and pats his arm in reassurance. “Hey, you’ve got your Medieval history and Louis the XV; I’ve got my electromagnetism and biotransport.”

“What, like transferring bodies?”

Raven rolled her eyes, pulling her hand from her friend and taking a sip of her beer. “No, Bell, not transporting bodies. And should you really be drinking on the job?”

Bellamy shrugged, beer in hand as he takes a large gulp. “I work at a bar, it comes with the territory.”

Raven is about to respond when another woman walks up to the bar, and she can’t help it as her eyes cling. Blonde and brunette hair mixed, tanned skin, and Raven swears those eyes are going to pierce through her soul and rip it from her.

Instead, the woman just leans over the bar and places a kiss on Bellamy’s cheek. For a second, Raven is sure he’s blushing.

“Are we still on for tonight?” the woman asks simply, ignoring Raven entirely, all attention focused on Bellamy.

She’d be offended if she hadn’t notice the gentle smile on the woman’s lips when Bellamy nodded.

“Of course, I just have to close up. An hour?”

The woman just smirks and she cups the back of Bellamy’s neck, pulling him closer. Her lips are against his ear and Raven can tell from the way Bellamy’s eyes open in slight shock and mouth forming into that stupid, cocky, completely Bellamy grin that she’s fortunate not to be hearing whatever is being said.

When the woman pulls back, Bellamy just nods and attempts to clear his throat.

“Uh, ye-yeah. Ten minutes.”

The woman winks, turning and moving to one of the booths near the doors of the bar.

Raven’s eyebrow raises in amusement, her eyes turning back to Bellamy, who still looks like he just heard the greatest secret.

“So, who is she?”

Snapped from his daze, the bartender’s eyes turn to Raven. “Nothing, no one. Just a friend.”

“Well, if that’s how friends act, I guess I should be whispering sweet nothings into Octavia’s ear too?”

He shoots her a glare and she can only smile innocently because she knows that’s all it takes for him to talk.

“Fine. Her name is Anya. She’s the sexy woman I got to go home with when you banged the professor.”

Her eyes go wide. Had he known beforehand that Abby was a professor? Sure, there was no way he’d know she was _her_ professor, but still. She reached across the bar, grabbing his shirt and pulling him down to her level.

“What did you just say?” she hisses, attempting to keep her voice quiet and calm but she’s fuming because if Bellamy had known this entire time she felt she could kill him right now.

“Hey, chill,” he whispers calmly, his own hands wrapping around Raven’s. The movement did little to calm her, but his touch has always been reassuring and her grip loosens around the collar of his shirt.

“Octavia told me, okay? I didn’t know you were so sensitive about it still, sorry.”

Though his apology is sincere, she cannot stop the white hot panic that runs through her. Not for herself, just Abby. Because this situation is already bad enough and her mind already goes to the woman more than it should. This is extra weight she doesn’t need added to an already stressful situation.

“She only told you, right?”

Bellamy nods quickly, pulling Raven’s hands from his shirt and placing them on the bar counter. Still, he doesn’t remove his hands from hers, squeezing them in reassurance.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I mean, she might have told her new boyfriend too-”

A heavy groan escapes Raven’s lips.

“But other than that, no one else knows. Promise.”

One corner of her mouth tugs into a half smile and she nods, pressing her lips together before picking up her beer for another drink.

“No one else, okay? Not even the sexy chick.”

Bellamy pulls his hands from hers, hand ruffling in her hair.

“Of course. I kind of assumed you were still banging her anyway.”

Raven chokes on her drink as Bellamy walks away for a moment. She blames Octavia for Bell’s comment, but she also doesn’t know why it’s causing her to blush so fiercely.She lets the thought fade from her mind as Bellamy returns, keys in hand.

“I’m assuming you’re staying the night,” he says simply, placing the keys in front of Raven. “Don’t stay up too late.”

She can’t help but roll her eyes, taking the keys and another swig of beer. “Hah, you’re hilarious. Now go on your sex adventure with your girlfriend.”

Bellamy narrows his eyes, deciding to not take the bait this time around as he goes around the bar. He wraps an arm around Anya’s shoulders as she stands, but she bats it away. Bellamy’s face is one of shock and hurt until Anya places a sweet kiss to his lips and takes his hand, pulling him from the bar without Bellamy so much as turning to wave goodbye.

As soon as they have left, Raven stands and goes to the door, locking it and shutting off the main lights. The bar was dead tonight, and Raven was thankful for that, because with the eyes Bellamy made with Anya, she was certain that she’d be stuck kicking out the other patrons instead.

Walking back to her seat, Raven grabs her drink and heads to the studio. As she looks up the stairs, a shiver runs up her spine, as if to remind her of where she had been only a couple of weeks before.

_Stop it._

She carries herself up the stairs and into the studio as swiftly as she can, shutting the door behind her and resting her back against it. Letting herself sink to the floor, Raven finds comfort in the warm wood beneath her.

_It was just one night, Reyes._

She’s told herself this every time Abby appears into her mind. She finds herself struggling in attempts to see what the other students see: a bitch, a cold professor, a harder grader than she should be. Raven doesn’t see it though, no matter how much she grasps for it. All she sees is the professor’s cocky grin, sensual eyes, and how she writhed beneath Raven’s touch. At the last thought, she lets her head fall back against the door, a heavy sigh escaping her lips.

She needed Abby Griffin out of her head, and she’s thought of a couple of ways to accomplish this. One is a new bed mate, but she quickly crosses the idea off when she goes through the people she knows in her head. The other is studying, letting her fall back into the bliss of metal grinding against each other and chemical reactions. However, as soon as she touches her anatomy textbook, her mind quickly falls back to Abby.

Whatever she was feeling, Raven couldn’t take it. This infatuation had to end, and Raven knew the best way to confront it was to just dive head first into it again. But that wasn’t an option in this case. All of it was all costing her greatly though, especially with her grade.

After a moment, she sighs, thinking back to her conversation with Abby at her office. Raven needed help, whether she wanted to admit it or not, with at least one of the current issues at hand.

Reaching into her pocket, Raven pulled out her phone, quick to unlock it and go to her email. She didn’t want to do this, but she was in need of help, and while Octavia understood the material, she was also the worst study partner Raven had ever had. She types the name quickly, and then writes a short email asking for when they can meeting, clicking send.

She doesn’t even have time to put her phone down before a reply comes in.

“Sounds great, see you then! -Monty Green”

Relief washes over Raven, feeling a small weight lift from her shoulders. Maybe now at least her grade won’t be a concern. She just hoped he was as good of a tutor as Abby made him out to be.

 

* * *

 

“That is not a flat bone.”

“It’s flat, therefore a flat bone.”

“No, flat bones often have a curve.”

Groaning, Raven slouched in her chair and let her head fall back. They have been at this for hours, attempting to review and prepare for this damned test. She’s been struggling so much with the quizzes, and Monty is her only go to for help. However, now sitting with him, she felt like she was better off not asking for help at all.

Her intelligence was failing her. Things that make the most sense no longer do, and Raven is close to screaming into her pillow at this rate.

Her studying with Monty had been taking place over the last couple of weeks, and assignments and quizzes seemed to creep up on her quickly to the point of Raven now panicking, and she was struggling much more than she was used to. She had taken basic anatomy classes before and had been fine, but now she was teetering on the edge with her grade and it was driving her perfectionist mind into the ground. She never did bad in classes, and the fact that she was now only served to bruise her ego and have her question whether it was the material of the class itself or how she had a hard time focusing on the slides in class.

“Come on Raven, you know this. We just went over it, name one flat bone.”

Lifting her head, Raven felt slightly guilty. Monty was trying, really trying, to help Raven understand the material. He was intelligent and it showed as he explained topics that she never fully comprehended in class. However, as soon as it came to labelling the parts of the body, she fell apart.

Smiling lightly, Monty reached over, patting Raven’s shoulder in support as he held up the photo of the human skeletal system once more.

“This,” he began, pointing to the bone in the center of the chest, “is the sternum. Also known as a flat bone.”

Nodding, Raven leaned forward a bit, looking over the photo in attempts to label another. She knew this, she did, but it was as though her brain short circuited as soon as she saw an actual image of the human body.

“Okay so… The skull would be one?” she asked with uncertainty, tapping the skull on the photo.

“Exactly!”

Monty was sweet, almost too much so. He rewarded Raven too easily and, in her mind, it was why she was having such a hard time retaining this information. Still, Monty wasn’t entirely to blame. The fact that she mostly just stared at Abby’s breasts and ass through class was also part of the problem.

“Okay, now,” he continued, tapping his chin in thought. “Give me an example of an irregular bone.”

Sighing, Raven felt herself slouch again. “Can’t we pick up next week, Monty? My brain is going to explode with all of this information.”

Pursing his lips, Monty shrugged, beginning to gather his stuff. “Yeah, sure, but your test is in three days. You should try to join one of the study groups that have formed in Professor Griffin’s class. Maybe they can help you more than me.”

Chuckling, Raven reached over, gently punching him in the arm. “Maybe, but who is more knowledgeable about the class than the teacher’s assistant?”

“The professor.” Then, it was like a lightbulb went off. “Have you considered asking Professor Griffin to help you at all? She doesn’t do much during her office hours, I’m sure she’d be more than happy to help.”

The thought has passed her mind, if she was honest. However, so has the idea of kissing said professor.

“I don’t think that’d be such a good idea,” Raven says softly, a small laugh covering her anxiety.

“Why not?”

Raven can only bite her bottom lip, holding back words she could easily spill. Even Octavia was finding her behavior weird at this point with the simple mention of Professor Griffin. Though, perhaps Monty was right, maybe she should just look into one of the study groups. It could also be a way for her to avoid the class more so she didn’t have to be stuck looking at Abby like she was some unfortunate long lost lover, despite her promise to not skip the class anymore. Some promises were made to be broken.

“You know, I’ll mention it to Professor Griffin. I’m sure she’d be-”

“No!”

Raven paused, clearing her throat. The last thing she needed was someone else becoming involved in the tangled web of lies that seemed to be forming around herself. It was astounding how much that one night was messing with her.

“I mean, just… Really, I’ll look into the study groups. I wouldn’t want to take much of her time.”

Smirking, Monty simply nodded. “Right… This isn’t because people call her the Dragon Lady, right? She’s pretty harmless.”

Chuckling, Raven shook her head, standing and picking her bag up off the floor. “No, I just think it best that maybe I stick to study groups and your help. I’m sure I’ll get it.”

Clucking his tongue, Monty sighed. “Okay, but seriously Raven. Study hard, her midterms have sent many students to tears and emotional breakdowns.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Raven replied, rolling her eyes. “Right?”

 

* * *

 

 

It was that bad. The test had made Raven’s palms sweat and her breath quicken as she looked over every question, desperate for a question she could immediately do and was easy. Alas, there wasn’t one. Instead she found herself using more eraser than graphite as her mind tumbled over itself. There had been questions she had recognized from her study sessions with Monty and the small group Octavia and a few others had made, but even those seemed to have her struggling. Her only true saving grace in this was that the test itself was predominantly multiple choice questions and she could fall back on the one in four chance of something being right.

When she had left the large classroom after the test, she found Octavia had been waiting for her. Octavia, who was so insanely good at this class, Raven was wondering why she majored in political science. Octavia, who couldn’t stop the squeal from escaping her when Monty gave back graded tests at the end of the following class. Octavia, who only let out a low whistle when she saw Raven’s grade.

“Damn,” she said softly, holding the thick pack of the test in her hands. “What happened?”

Part of Raven is close to tears at the circled 60% on her test, but the other part is panic at the writing in large, bold, bright red sharpie.

_Come see me._

The numbers for the grade are Monty’s writing, she knew as much from their time together when he was tutoring her. The letters in the other ink were unrecognizable, and therefore could only belong to one other person: Professor Griffin.

“I’m so screwed,” Raven mumbles, taking the papers back from Octavia and shoving them into her oversized backpack. “I’m going to lose my scholarship at this rate.”

Feeling a gentle hand on her shoulder, Raven felt a small wave of calm come over her. The Blakes always had a calming effect on her, it seemed.

“Hey, calm down. You’ll be fine. Plus, seeing as Professor Griffin wants to see you, maybe you’ll get to retake it.”

Raven could only sigh and nod, hopeful that that was the case.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, let me just say how sorry i am for the delay. this week was absolutely crazy, ridiculous really. i'm going to try as hard as i can to make sure this doesn't happen again and updates will continue to be pushed out on fridays!

As Raven stood outside the door of Professor Griffin’s office, she felt chills run through her body. These were not the same chills she had felt when Abby’s breath hit her neck, but rather the chills she felt when her eyes had met Abby’s on that first day of class. They were chills of fear, shock, and uncertainty. It was one thing to do poorly on an exam; but to have it get bad enough to where the woman she was certain was trying to avoid interaction with her asked to speak with her, it was a whole different level.

Part of her now wishes she had just dropped when she had the chance. Maybe the professor who taught it before Abby would return and be less of a distraction, maybe the subject material would somehow be easier to memorize, and maybe she wouldn’t be grasping at straws to try and get on top of everything.

But no, deep down, she knew it wouldn’t be any easier. Yes, Abby wouldn’t be there to distract her, but Raven felt that, maybe, Abby was part of the reason she wasn’t failing. Skating by isn’t exactly better, but it’s at least not as much of a waste with her scholarship and time.

Just as Raven tried to avoid their interaction before, it took her an entire week to gain the courage to face Abby after the midterm. Rather than the fear of facing a former bedmate, however, it was replaced with fear of judgement. She didn’t know why she cared what Abby thought of her, but she did. She cared deeply enough to where she preferred to fade into a black hole than face the disappointment that would surely mark the professor’s features. It was weird for someone who didn’t care to suddenly care so intensely that she even second guesses her decision to finally come to the office.

Raven raises her hand to finally knock, but hesitates, biting her bottom lip as she begins to reconsider just coming back the next day.

_Or not at all._

“I see you’re done avoiding me.”

The voice causes her eyes to go wide for a moment, turning her head and meeting Abby’s gaze. Part of her mind tells Raven to run; run until she gets all the way back to Texas and away from this woman who seemed to cause her nothing but trouble. But when she sees the simple smile on Abby’s face, she ignores instinct.

“I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” the professor says simply, nudging Raven aside so she can put her key in the door. “I know I’m late to office hours, but I blame Callie for that.”

Raven raises an eyebrow and feels a small flame begin to burn at the mention of another person’s name. “Callie?”

“Doctor Cartwig. She’s the professor who taught this class before she decided to leave. Greener pastures, she says.”

Raven just nods, eyes out of focus for a moment. She doesn’t understand the feeling she has inside of her right now, the flame that seems to burn a bit hotter and fiercer as the smile on Abby’s lips growing wider when she discuss her friend.

“Miss Reyes?”

Her mind snaps back and she realizes she must’ve been standing there with a blank look for longer than what could ever be deemed as appropriate. Abby had already moved into her office and was standing next to her desk, eyebrow raised in slight confusion.

Nodding mindlessly, Raven walks inside and shuts the door behind her. She can tell the move adds an extra wall to Abby, the professor's spine stiffening at the move. She thinks it best to just lean against the wall, to provide distance. It becomes a foolish thought that passes however, and she moves to sit in the same chair she had sat in before when the question of her grade had come up weeks prior. But now, with it truly hanging by a thread, Raven couldn't help as she gripped the edge of her seat, knuckles going white.

She hears Abby let out a long sigh, “Miss Reyes, calm down.”

“I’d feel a hell of a lot better if you stopped calling me Miss Reyes.”

A quick, short, exasperated breath came from Abby as she pursed her lips. “Alright, fine. Raven, you’re not in trouble, so please stop squeezing the oak out of my chair.”

Releasing her grip of the seat, Raven lifted her gaze to Abby. What she had expected to see wasn’t there, disappointment not appearing in brown eyes. Instead there was just concern and worry, something she felt was uncommonly shown in Abby’s eyes; at least for her students.

“You know why you’re here, I don’t have to tell you that,” Abby begins, half sitting and half standing against her desk, “and obviously your attempts aren’t fixing the situation.”

Raven nods, chewing on her bottom lip as she lets her eyes fall again. Something about the intense gaze that Abby’s dark eyes is enough to send chills down her spine. Her eyes squeeze shut for a moment before they open and she looks to Abby.

“I’m trying, really. I’ve asked other study groups, I’ve gone to Monty… Nothing is working.”

She knows how desperate she sounds right now, but she can’t help it. Not now, not with everything she’s worked so hard for on the line.

Abby nods, crossing her arms over her chest. “I know, Raven. That’s why I am presenting you with two options.”

Standing and pushing herself off the corner of the desk, Abby moves in front of the desk, pacing back and forth in front of Raven. Part of her wants Abby to just speak and say whatever these options were, the tension at the unknown causing her heart to beat loudly in her ears. But with a hand covering her mouth, it was clear Abby was unsure how to say what she needed to.

Finally, Abby stopped backing, turning her body towards Raven. Her eyes were cast down, and it was obvious she was apprehensive to make eye contact with Raven.

“The first option is simple: you drop the class.” She leans back against the desk, finally letting her eyes meet Raven’s. “I know it’s after the deadline, but I can pull some strings to where you can do it without ever even having a record of taking the class this semester.”

The idea is tempting, Raven knows that. It’s what she has wanted since she started completing assignments but receiving poor marks for them. Or, more accurately, since she walked in and saw Abby teaching the class.

“Option two is…” Abby hesitates, and Raven scans her face for reasoning. Raven can see light pink color rise up Abby’s chest and neck, which only confuses her more.

Releasing a breath, Abby licks her lips, “Option two is you continuing with the class, but you will meet with me at least twice a week for tutoring.”

Raven scanned over Abby’s face, looking for something within her words. It was obvious Abby wasn’t entirely comfortable with the last option based off their history, but at the same time, she wanted Raven to succeed. At this point, it really was down to the wire and time to make tough decisions.

For weeks up until this point, Raven has been blaming that one night for all of this. For her struggling, for images that never seem to leave her head, and for emotions Raven can’t - or doesn’t want to - place and name. Within blaming that night, she has blamed Abby. Right now though, with two very different and very powerful options before her, she’s beginning to realize maybe it’s more herself than her infatuation that has caused this. She needs this class, and she needs a good grade in it; so only one option makes sense.

Licking her lips, Raven let a grin form on her lips as she replies, “When do we meet?”

 

* * *

 

“Wait, you’re doing what?”

Rolling her eyes, Raven clicked the pause button once more.

“I’m studying with Professor Griffin on Friday so I can’t-”

“You’re studying with hot professor?”

“You know, if I’m not able to complete my sentence, it’s not wonder you keep having me pause the movie.”

Octavia smirks, eyebrow raising. “So defensive. I didn’t know you could get like this when you’re getting laid.”

“I’m not, okay?” Raven shook her head fingers moving to her temples in attempts to massage away the building frustration.

Ever since Raven has mentioned that Abby was now her personal tutor, Octavia has been unable to let it go. She knows it’s teasing and it’s the Blake family’s bizarre form of showing love, but it was driving her up a wall. Everything was confusing enough as it was, she didn’t need Octavia adding fuel to whatever fire was building.

“Raven, chill. Seriously, you look like you’re getting an aneurysm,” Octavia says nonchalantly, reaching over and placing a supportive hand on her shoulder.

“Besides, if you were banging, I’m sure it’d be obvious. Especially with how she left your body last time.”

Raising an eyebrow, Raven removed the fingers from her temples. “What do you mean?”

Octavia shrugged, resting one arm on a pillow and relaxing into the mattress.

“You were covered in hickeys and scratch marks, Raven. You had a hickey on your neck that lasted nearly three weeks.”

Raven felt her cheeks flush and her eyes averted from Octavia’s.

“Shut up, Blake. Why can’t we ever just watch a movie in peace?”

“Because you have a habit of making life too interesting to pay attention to stupid movies on television.”

“You picked this movie.”

“I also picked you. And you are way more interesting.”

 

* * *

 

Her eyes strained to focus on the dark road as other headlights passed by. She should've been home two hours ago, but had lost track of time while planning a test for her class the following week. She tried not to stay later than needed, but tonight had also thrown in the wrench of having to talk to Raven about her grade.

Raven was a smart student, probably one of the more intelligent students in her class, but Abby also knew that intelligence in mechanics and chemical reactions didn't always mean intelligence in the human body. Her ex husband was proof of that when he gave confused looks to Abby when she explained where exactly Clarke had broken her arm when she was six.

As she finally turned onto her street, Abby let thoughts of Raven fade from her mind. She has been letting thoughts of Raven invade her mind too often to where she questioned if it was even a good idea to spend more time with the woman at this rate, even if it was in a school setting. But Abby was her professor, first and foremost, which meant doing what she could to help her succeed.

Pulling into the steep driveway, Abby let her eyes wander through each window of the home before her, attempting to make sure her daughter was actually in bed. However, since her ex was the babysitter tonight, Abby could already predict that he had let her stay awake.

Sliding out of the car, large bag in hand, Abby quickly locked the car and moved into the house. The home was larger than Abby needed, especially with it only for herself and Clarke. However, since the home had been in the family for so long, it had become tradition for it to just be passed down. The one time ever dared to voice her thoughts of moving, her mother looked as though she would have a heart attack. Since then, even with her mother gone, Abby hasn’t dared to consider leaving again.

The wind was knocked out of her as a small body collided with her lower half, arms wrapping tightly around her waist. Abby couldn’t help but smile and lean down, pressing a tender kiss to the top of blonde hair.

“You’re supposed to be in bed,” Abby says softly, finger running over damp hair.

Jake and Abby definitely had different forms of parenting, and combined they seemed to work rather well together, even if the pair was no longer conducting them under the same roof. Abby preferred Clarke in bed by a decent hour, while Jake couldn’t help but crumble at the pout that formed on their daughter’s face at the notion of “bedtime.”

“Dad let me stay up, but just until you got home,” Clarke replies with a simple shrug, smiling up to her mother.

“I can tell,” Abby says as she looks up, shooting a glare to Jake as he appears from the living room. “But, I’m home, so bed.”

Releasing a heavy sigh, Clarke rolls her eyes as she turns her head slightly to see her father. “Dad,” she pleads, the infamous pout forming on her lips.

Jake opens his mouth, but immediately closes it when Abby raises an eyebrow in silent challenge. Then, he just clears his throat and turns his gaze from his daughter, walking towards the kitchen.

A slight smile forms at the corner of Abby’s lips, pulling away from her daughter as arms around her waist dropped. Her eyes go to her daughter, who crosses her arms over her chest as she turns towards the stairs.

“Love you,” Abby calls after her daughter, who just stomps up the stairs in response. While meant to offend, Abby could only chuckle, walking to the kitchen where Jake had gone. Her daughter was a spitfire, like herself when she was younger.

The click of her heels from wood flooring of the entry way to the tiles in the oversized kitchen echo as she makes her way to the island in the center, smiling thankfully as Jake hands her a glass of wine. Even if they hadn’t worked as a couple, she couldn’t help the domestic actions they seemed to fall into when with one another.

Taking a long sip of the red wine, Abby let her eyes close as it slid down her throat.

“So, what kept you late this time?”

Opening her eyes and looking to Jake, Abby let a breath out through her nose. “The damn clock in my office is broken again and I lost track of time.”

“You have windows in your office, Abby. It’s still light out when you say you’re going to be home.”

“Well,” Abby began, opening her mouth to continue only to let it fall shut.

The nice thing about Jake was how open he was to listen to Abby’s, or anyone’s, problems. It made her curious about why he never went into a field like psychology. However, Abby knew she couldn’t really discuss this issue with her ex.

Jake seemed to pick up on this, at least Abby assumed, from the way his brows narrowed and eyes scanned her face for an answer. She could hide her emotions from people rather easily, but unfortunately for her, Jake could read anyone like a book.

Pouring a glass of wine for himself, Jake nods his head, causing Abby to grip her own glass a bit tighter.

“Well?” Jake asks, taking a sip.

Biting her bottom lip, Abby shrugged. “Well, nothing. I’m just nervous about Clarke turning nine soon, do you have any idea what we should get her?”

His face was expressionless, and the professor could only take another sip of her wine. She was never a great liar unless she prepared excuses ahead of time. It was part of the reason she had told Clarke about where babies come from earlier than she and Jake had originally planned. She was never great at thinking on her toes unless it was in a medical setting.

Sighing, Jake put down his glass. “You really are a terrible liar, Abby. I know you, you probably bought her gift _months_ ago.”

Pursing her lips, Abby couldn’t help but nod. The negative of being great friends with someone you were married to was definitely this: they knew you as well as you knew yourself.

“Okay, would you accept the idea of me being stuck grading and losing track of time?”

“I would’ve, if you started with it,” Jake replies, grinning as he picks his glass back up. “What’s with you?”

Letting a sigh escape her lips, Abby finishes her glass, putting it on the island and pushing it toward Jake, a silent request for more.

If she were honest, she wasn’t sure what was up with her. She had been blaming her nerves on teaching undergraduates since the semester had started, but she knew better. Her mind was playing that night in the bar over and over again, trying to decipher if and when it had been obvious Raven was more than just someone new to town. More specifically, if Raven had ever stated that she was a student. Even after running over the night in her head, Abby still tried to find some moment Raven had said it, even though she knew it wasn’t there. But as soon as her mind hit Raven saying “kiss me,” her mind went into a fog.

Now that the two would be meeting more, Abby’s nerves were even further on edge. Simply saying it was because she was teaching undergraduates would be reaching far at this point, she knew that. The professor also knew these nerves had more to do with Raven herself than anything else. The question of _why_ appeared in her brain, continuously. For now, she was saying it was due to their awkward situation. Searching for any deeper meaning beyond that would lead her down a path she wasn’t sure she’d like the answer from.

Telling all of this to Jake though, that was something she couldn’t do. She wanted someone, anyone, to talk to about this. But the fact of the matter was that she was alone in this, even if she didn’t want to be.

“I don’t know,” she says truthfully, thankful as Jake pushes the filled wine glass towards her.

Nodding, Jake finishes his glass, placing it on the island. “You don’t know, or you don’t want to talk about it?”

“Both.”

“Okay.”

Raising an eyebrow, Abby locks eyes with her ex. She knows Jake, he likes to pry. It’s not exactly a terrible thing, but it has caused them to get into more than a few fights. Jake prying is never a shock, and the fact that he’s not makes Abby more cautious than she would’ve been with further questioning.

“Okay?”

Shrugging, Jake takes his glass and puts it into the sink. “Yeah.”

Her eyes are trained on Jake as he moves around the kitchen, washing out his wine glass before moving to the island once more to grab the bottle of wine. She can’t help but scan him, looking for something in whatever he was playing at with her.

After placing the wine back into the fridge, he turns, only sighing when their eyes meet again.

“Look,” he begins, moving to Abby, “I know you know that I want to know what’s going on in your mind. But I also know that you never grip your wine glass like that unless you’re really against talking.”

Looking down to her hand, Abby is shocked that the glass hasn’t shattered. Her knuckles are white, and she is quick to set the wine glass down onto the counter.

“You’re also holding your breath.”

She lets the breath slip from her lips, causing her body to shake as the tension that has built in her shoulders is released.

“So, I’m not prying. At least not today.”

Placing a hand on her shoulder, Jake squeezes, smiling as he moves past her.

“I’ll see you on Friday when I pick Clarke up for the weekend,” he calls from behind Abby, and the only way that she knows he is gone is when she hears the click of the door and the lock being turned.

 

* * *

 

“I might be wrong, but I don’t think a bar is the greatest place to study.”

Looking up from her notepad, Raven couldn’t help but smile as her eyes met Lincoln’s. Even if she didn’t know him as well as Octavia obviously did, there was a kindness in his eyes that was always there. It reminded Raven of Finn for a moment, but she quickly shook the thought from her head.

_He’s gone, Reyes._

“You obviously haven’t tried to study while Octavia is getting prepared for a date,” she retorts, the smile on her face only growing as Lincoln ducks his head, a wide smile on his lips at the mention of her name.

“Yeah, that sounds like her.”

As Lincoln slides into the booth across from her, Raven sets her pen in her book and shuts it, keeping her place marked and letting her attention turn to him.

“Speaking of which, I hear you have a date of your own coming up tomorrow.”

Raven’s brows furrow at the comment, unsure of his meaning. It is only when her eyes drop in thought that she is reminded of the fact that she will be seeing Abby tomorrow for their tutoring lesson that she finds herself blushing. She chokes around the air in her throat, eyes going back to Lincoln’s.

“Seriously?”

Lincoln only grins and nods his head, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Octavia was right, it does fluster you.”

“Of course it does! Wouldn’t it put anyone on edge?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

“Is it the fact that I called it a date, or the fact that you wish it was a date?”

Raven opens her mouth to respond, but shuts it immediately. She knows the answer to that, but saying it aloud made the stirring emotions all the more real. Emotions she preferred to be kept at bay. Emotions she hadn’t wanted to even consider since Finn. Though now, sitting across from Lincoln, she knew she couldn’t continue to hide this blooming emotion within her; at least not from those who she considers to be family. A family that even Lincoln had somehow become part of.

Letting a soft sigh leave her lips, Raven let her cheek rest in her hand.

“Maybe I do wish it was a date, kind of. But it’s just an infatuation.”

Lincoln raises an eyebrow, challenging her wording. Immediately, she rolls her eyes.

“Okay, fine. I have a crush on her. But that’s normal, right? Who hasn’t had a crush on their extremely attractive professor?”

Nodding in agreement, Lincoln shrugs. “True. I know I had a crush on one of mine when I was in school. Though I hadn’t slept with them prior to actually knowing they were my professor.”

Biting her bottom lip, Raven let her eyes leave Lincoln again. The building emotion inside of her for a woman she hardly knew, it nagged at her. Yes, she knew bits of information from when they had talked at the bar, but most of that was jumbled from the amount of alcohol the pair had drank. Raven knew so little about Abby, and yet she felt something that night that was becoming harder to deny. She had hoped that, by staying away from the professor, the tension and feelings would fade. Instead, they had intensified.

Perhaps it was wanting what she couldn’t have, or maybe it was because it was the first time Raven had been touched in over a year. Regardless, her attempts at removing her emotions have only failed. She was left wondering what if she had just not gone with Octavia to the bar that night, and hadn’t seen the lonely brunette in the corner.  

“Would it have changed anything if you did?” Raven asks after a moment, eyes still not meeting Lincoln’s.

She can hear Lincoln shift as he ponders the question, but her eyes are trained to the beaten wood table beneath her arms. There is no good advice now, if there ever had been. With the added fact that Raven would now be interacting with Abby one on one, she knew no one was able to help her. What could be done when you had feelings for someone you’d been planning to only have as a bed warmer?

Lincoln clears his throat and Raven looks up to him, being met with eyes of consideration.

“Well,” he begins, scratching his neck, “maybe. What if there had been something? What if the professor was someone I connected with, even if it was just one night? I don’t know, because the opposite could’ve happened too. I mean, what if she had been a terrible person, but good in bed? There are too many unknowns.”

It’s not an answer she wants, but Raven is certain that no answer would satisfy her at this point. She was frustrated by this situation, one that could’ve played out a million other ways if she hadn’t gone to the bar, or if she hadn’t been drawn to Abby. Raven was not one to believe in fate. Fate meant things would happen regardless of any action, and the idea never set well with her. Still, she couldn’t help but let the idea play in her mind, wondering if this was what was meant to happen. Maybe it was all a sign that leaving Texas was a mistake.

When she felt Lincoln’s warm hand on her own, Raven let her eyes shift to it.

“You’ll figure it out, Raven. From what I hear, you always do.”

As he stood and left, Raven’s eyes remained on her hand before looking to the textbook next to her. Though avoiding Abby hadn’t worked, maybe being around Abby was a good way to rid herself of this crush that has developed within her. Abby seemed unaffected by this whole situation, and Raven needed to reach that to no longer have this debilitating set of emotions and questions. By getting to know Abby, perhaps fantasies of what she is like will be put to rest, and memories of the woman who marked her like she was her property would be set aside.

 

* * *

 

When Raven approached Abby’s office, she felt a slight stir in her stomach. She shouldn’t be feeling this, she knows, but Lincoln’s words from the previous night rang loud in her ears; a mantra of encouragement.

_You’ll figure it out._

He was right, she would, and maybe this tutoring was the best way to figure it out. By seeing beyond what she had already known of her professor, letting the facade fade away, things would be okay. It was time to be brave, in a sense, and crush these emotions.

Knocking on the door, Raven bit down on her lip as she turned the handle and pushed the door open. She let her head poke inside, brows furrowing. Pushing the door open completely and walking into the office, Raven let her eyes do a quick glance around the space before pulling out her phone to look at the time. Abby was late, which Raven felt was to be expected after Abby had been late to her office hours previously anyway.

She made her way to the chair she had sat in every time she had been in the office, setting her bag down on the ground. Her eyes continued to look over the office, stunned by just how immaculate it was. Everything had it’s place; and even with a large stack of papers on her desk, everything was neat and tidy.

Glancing over her shoulder, Raven shrugged. She had time, she may as well look around and begin ridding herself of whatever small feelings for Abby she had.

Looking over the desk, Raven couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Pens placed perfectly straight marked one edge of Abby’s desk, the tall stack of papers so perfectly put together that not one paper stuck out from the pile, and the pair of reading glasses she seemed to always find Abby wearing were delicately placed in the front and center, right where her chair would slide up.

For a moment, Raven could see the title of “Dragon Lady” within the absurd amount of time it would take just to put everything in place like it was.

Her eyes shifted, scanning the photos at the head of the desk. There was one of her with Professor Kane - a political science professor she seemed to always run into - as well as some woman, a woman she immediately decided to be Callie. It was apparent it was from an earlier time from how old Abby and Professor Kane appeared to be in the photo, but everyone smiled.  

Her eyes traced over several photos before they landed on one photo in particular. It was a recent photo, or that’s what she assumed. Raven couldn’t help herself as she reached and picked up the photo, looking over the scene. It was a close up photo of Abby and a young girl who looked too much like her to not assume it was the daughter Abby had mentioned that night at the bar. Their hair was being blown into their face, but Abby’s arms were tightly wrapped around the girl. The daughter had a wide, toothy smile, with one of her canine teeth missing. Abby was smiling just as brightly, cheek pressed against her daughter’s. Raven couldn’t stop the smile that came over her own lips.

_It must be nice, having a mom like that._

“She looks more like her father than me.”

Startled, Raven nearly drops the photo, looking over her shoulder to see Abby standing close behind her. Abby simply plucks the photo from her hand, placing it carefully on the desk where it had been before. Raven opens her mouth to apologize, but immediately shuts it when Abby turns to her and smiles.

“Are you ready?”

All of her thoughts are mostly forgotten as she tries to remember why she came to Abby’s office to begin with. Every time Abby just always flashes that damn smile at her she lets go to all form of thought and, for a moment, that there’s any sort of circumstances between them.

Gathering her senses again, Raven nods and straightens her spine, recalling her entire reason for being her.

“Yeah, where do we start?”

“Well,” Abby begins, slipping into her chair at her desk, “sit down and take this quiz.”

Raven raises an eyebrow as she takes the packet from Abby, moving back around the desk and into the seat she has claimed as hers. Pulling out a pencil and her notepad, to use as a hard surface, Raven began to circle the answers she hopes are correct on the quiz.

When she had signed up for tutoring, she assumed it would be how it was with Monty. There would be flashcards and charts that were too large for the sheets of paper they were printed on, making them nearly impossible to read. A quiz was not what she was expecting. Still, it was doing this or dropping the class, so she may as well.

Every so often, her eyes would lift from the quiz, looking to Abby. The professor’s head was down, glasses placed over her eyes, looking over what Raven could only assume were assignments from her classes. Abby never looked up to meet her eyes though, no matter how many times Raven glanced up to her. Whatever she had been expecting to happen during tutoring wasn’t happening. And if she were honest, she also wasn’t sure if that disappointed her or not.

After some time, she finished the quiz, taking the packet and pushing it towards Abby on her desk. Still, Abby didn’t look up; she simply took the packet and moved it to an empty space on the desk.

Furrowing her brows, Raven cleared her throat, attempting to gain Abby’s attention, “So, now what?”

“Now you leave.”

Her eyebrow shot up, looking to the clock before looking back at Abby. Abby had told her to delegate two hours for these tutoring sessions, and with only half an hour passing, Raven couldn’t help but be confused.

“Leave?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you were supposed to tutor me, not give me extra class work.”

Abby pursed her lips, letting the pen go from her hand as she looked up to Raven. The student had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from saying or doing anything at the sight of dark brown eyes behind those _damned_ reading glasses.

“If you recall, I haven’t actually seen you tests or assignments, and I can’t tutor you if I have no idea what you know and don’t know. So, this is my way of seeing what you have understood of haven’t understood.”

“Then why have me take two hours out for this?”

“Because I wanted to see how confident of a test taker you were and how quickly you would get through it..”

Letting a breath out from her nose, Raven rolled her eyes. None of this made sense to her, but Abby was also her only hope. With this, she wasn’t sure if she had made right choice in choosing to stay in the class.

_No going back now._

Standing up and picking her bag off the ground, Raven is quick to turn and leave, shutting the door behind her.

_And a complete waste of time._

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! just a message saying thank you so much for all the kudos and messages of encouragement. you all are so sweet and lovely. enjoy the chapter!

This was absolutely ridiculous.

Raven couldn’t help but square her jaw as she took her seat across from Abby’s desk once again, holding yet another stupidly long quiz packet in her hand. She fought clenching her teeth, only feeling her mind scream as this quiz seemed to be even longer than the previous one, which was longer than the one before that. These quizzes that did nothing to help her; which only became more obvious as she was handed back previous ones with a circled “F” in that damned red sharpie that Abby seemed to only use for her.

Glancing up, Abby was doing what she typically did during these tutoring sessions. Her head was down, glasses on her face, marking the never ending papers on her desk with a red pen. Raven couldn’t place what this game was, but it ignited a fire within her. If she had wanted her crush for Abby to be gone, this seemed to be doing the trick. Abby wasn’t helping, she was just sitting there, and Raven felt her time wasting.

A week ago, when all of this started, it made sense to be given a quiz. Yes, it had annoyed her, but Abby had only wanted to see what she knew. Now though, on her fifth supposed tutoring session, she felt as though she would explode if she circled another one of this stupid questions on these quizzes that only served to damage her ego more.

“What the hell are these even for?”

Raven watches as Abby glances up, eyebrow raised. She feels her throat tighten, but her eyes stay locked with the professor’s as Abby lifts her head. Her spine shivers at the look of questioning behind the reading glasses, and takes a deep breath through her nose to contain herself.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Raven replies, holding up the packet. “This quiz. What is it even for?”

Abby shrugs, “I told you, to test-”

“How much I know, yeah. That made sense the first time, but this is getting stupid.” She was exasperated, eyes angry and narrowing at Abby. “You’re wasting my time.”

“No, you’re wasting mine.”

Raven’s entire body goes hot, and she has half a mind to throw the packet in Abby’s face and storm out. But she stays, watching as Abby sets down her pen and removes the glasses from her eyes.

“Look,” Abby begins, setting her hands on her desk. It reminds Raven of how she tries to hold herself back. “These aren’t to test your knowledge, not anymore. The first one, yes, but after that? They were to test your confidence.”

Raven’s brows furrow and she tries to understand what exactly Abby even means through the anger that’s still raging inside her.  

“You’re so confident in your ability to just understand everything that you rush through these quizzes like they’re nothing. In most cases, that’s admirable. Right now though, it’s costing you your grade and making me wonder if the confidence is in your abilities as a student or in the fact that you are going to fail this class.”

Raven opens her mouth to respond, but she shuts it as Abby raises her hand to stop her.

“You’re smart, Raven. You’re probably one of the more intelligent students in my class,” Abby says slowly, a small smile gracing her lips. It causes Raven’s heart to race and she has to fight the urge to curse at herself for being so weak.

“But,” the smile falters, and Abby’s eyes turn serious, “because of it, you lack the ability to ask for help when you need it.”

Raven scoffs, “That’s bullshit. If that were true, why the hell would I have signed up for tutoring with you?”

Her words are sharp and she’s glaring and Raven feels like she’s going to explode. She didn’t ever want to be tutored by Abby, not ever, and Abby’s psychoanalysis of her was making the fire within her grow and she was about to stand and leave this office and never look back.

“Because even that isn’t admitting that you need help.”

Raven’s jaw clenches and she’s gripping the arm of her chair with her free hand.

“I give you those quizzes for one reason: I’m waiting for you to finally admit you don’t know something on them.”

Raven watches as Abby reaches into her desk, pulling out several packets of paper before handing them to her. For a moment, Raven’s even more confused as she looks over them before she recognizes what they are. They’re copies of the quizzes she has been taking over these last two weeks, the answers she had missed all marked. She wants to say something in anger but is unable to as Abby continues.

“The first quiz, I thought maybe you knew some of the answers. But as you continued to fail them, I looked back and realized you guessed on pretty much all of them.”

“How did you come to that conclusion?”

“You miss questions you got correct on previous quizzes. What’s worse is I mark the correct answers on the quizzes I give back to you, and you miss them still.”

Biting her bottom lip, Raven looks down to the quizzes in her hand. It’s clear to her that Abby knows why she’s not getting these answers right, and that’s because she doesn’t bother to look at the ones handed back to her. She could continue to be angry at Abby for this, but she knows there’s no point when Abby isn’t to blame.

“I know you can figure these things out, Raven, if you only applied yourself. I’ve talked to your other professors, and you’re basically a straight A student. Not only that, but you probably don’t even have to try in those classes.”

At the comment, Raven can’t help the grin that forms on her lips. It’s true, she never did have to try when it came to mechanics and chemistry.

“But you can’t have that same mentality for this class. You don’t get the material, you’re not asking for help, and I’m wondering why you even chose to have me as your tutor over just dropping the class.”

As Raven scans over Abby’s face, she can see the care there. It makes her heart clench because, deep down, she knows Abby deals with this a lot with her students. Even if Abby was mostly a graduate professor, she was used to dealing with students who thought they could get an easy A. And Abby cares enough about those students to try and help them, even when they don’t know how to help themselves. There’s another reason why the caring gaze makes her heart ache and her stomach do flips, but she bites her tongue at the thought.

“So, I’m going to offer you the choice again. Do you want to drop, or are you going to finally ask for help?”

Help is something Raven has never needed. She’s taken care of herself since she was six, and her mother at the same time. She taught herself everything she’s ever needed to know about life, and it helped her get a job at her friend’s parent’s mechanic shop. She would study long hours over books filled with material most college students wouldn’t even understand about mechanical engineering, and it helped her to get a scholarship to one of the best engineering schools in the country. Even with her leg, Raven refused help and built the brace she currently wears herself. Help is just not something Raven has needed.

Or, it was something she refused and has been lucky enough to end up fine in the end. Now though, she wouldn’t end up fine in the end, and as much as she hated having to spend time with the woman who was making her stomach do flips, she had to. To fully realize her dream, she needed help, and Abby was the only one who seemed to be able to actually give her what she needed.

Licking her lips, Raven passed the old quizzes back to Abby before she stood and held up the newest quiz to her, pointing to the first question. “What the fuck is a malleus?”

 

* * *

 

Abby sighs into her drink as her eyes scan the small bar that Callie has dragged her to.

 _Girls’ night_ , she had said. _I haven’t seen you in ages._

Immediately, Abby could attribute this to the fact that Callie was chronically late to nearly everything they did together. In honesty, it wasn’t entirely shocking, not after knowing Cece for 21 years. Ever since they had met during their freshman year of high school, Abby has grown to find some comfort in Callie’s tardiness; because even if she was late, at least she was late all the time.

A wave of black hair crosses her eyes before arms wrap tightly around her from behind. Perhaps years before she would be terrified, but now she knows this instantly as Callie’s maneuver and own form of hello.

“You’re late,” Abby says simply, arms around her removing themselves and she feels a kiss pressed to her cheek.

“No, you’re just early.”

Rolling her eyes, Abby can’t help the smile that forms on her lips as Callie shifts into the seat across from her. Callie waves down a waitress who’s carrying a tray full of drinks, orders her own, and winks at the girl as she walks off.

_She really hasn’t changed one bit._

“Careful Cece, you might give the girl the idea that you’re hitting on her.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Callie replies, shrugging simply as she rests her hands on the table. “But enough about that, how’ve you been? It’s been ages.”

“We skyped yesterday.”

“Skyping isn’t actually interacting.”

Nodding absently, Abby remains silent as the waitress returns and places a glass with clear liquor in it. Vodka, Abby decides. Callie’s signature drink, if it could be called that, and part of the reason their old group of friends ended up in so much trouble.

“I’ve been… Alright, I suppose. You know how it is with these undergrads. They think they know everything and then you bust that dream with their first bad grade.”

Callie doesn’t say anything in response at first as Abby watches her eyes trace over her. Like Jake, Callie read Abby like a book, which caused her to shift under the heavy gaze. However, unlike Jake, her friend was not so easily deterred with a sensible response.

“Liar,” Callie says simply, taking a sip of her drink. “Jake already told me you’re hiding something.”

Raising an eyebrow, Abby thinks to say something but holds back. Of course Callie talked to Jake. Abby had been avoiding time with Callie for this reason, and the other woman must have picked up on it.

Jake may have known Abby as well as she knew herself, but Callie had known Abby long enough to know her better than anyone else. It was why they were so close, and also why the professor hoped that maybe things would blow over before she ever had to see her friend again. Of course, Abby was not so fortunate.

She feels a warm hand grip hers and she realizes she’s been quiet for a long time. Her eyes look up to Callie’s, caring and endearing, a shift from the mischievous gaze that had played on her features before. Callie squeezes her hand, and Abby bites her bottom lip as she squeezes back.

“He’s worried, you know. When he mentioned it I thought it was because you were dating and didn’t want to tell him.”

Abby feels a lump form in her throat, because _oh_ , if only it were so simple. As she begins to take another sip of her drink, she sees the wheels turning inside of Callie’s head for eyes go wide, as though a light bulb goes off in her mind.

“Wait, are you dating? Is that what all of this is about?”

Abby chokes a bit around her drink and Callie grins because she’s looks so sure and part of Abby wants to scream out because at least if she were dating she wouldn’t be in her current situation.

“Oh my god, who is it? Is it another professor? Because, while there will be a bit of judgement, I will completely understand and-”

“No, Callie, _stop_. I’m not dating anyone.”

Callie raises an eyebrow, and Abby watches as she scans over her once again.

Callie is probably the only person Abby could talk to about this. She’s been her friend for years, and there has never been any judgement over anything the other has done. Hell, the pair had even dated for a year back in college. The only issue at hand was that Callie’s husband was Marcus Kane, and even though he was her friend as well, he was uptight and strict with the rules. If Kane ever found out about what happened, Abby was sure he would report her. Not out of malice, but because of his strong regard for the rules. Plus, Abby couldn’t entirely blame him for doing that, if it ever came down to it. Still, Abby was also certain that if she told Callie about what happened, she’d keep it from Kane if Abby asked her to.

“Come on, Abby,” Callie begins, interrupting the professor’s thoughts. “What did you do? Break the copy machine? Steal someone’s old exam without permission? Sleep with a student?”

Abby can’t help but look away at the question. She’s not exactly ashamed of sleeping with Raven, but there is a stirring of guilt over it all. She also knows that this gesture is her tell, or so Callie claims when they all try to play poker.

“Oh my god,” Callie says slowly, and Abby has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from screaming out. “You slept with a student.”

Turning her face back to Callie, Abby isn’t entirely sure what she sees on her friend’s face. There’s shock, astonishment, and a hit of a smile that Abby isn’t sure should be there when discussing this situation.

“You _wild_ child,” Callie all but whispers, the mischievousness returning to her eyes and the smirk on her lips pulling wide. “I mean you were always crazy when we were younger, but this is just, wow. I never thought this would happen. How’d it happen? Is he a student of yours? Or she?”

Letting out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding in, Abby reaches over and grips Callie’s hand again. “I will explain everything, just promise me you won’t tell Marcus. Please, Cece.”

Callie rolls her eyes in response and Abby can already tell the answer from that alone. “Of course, do you think I’m crazy?”

Smiling slightly, Abby grips Callie’s hand a bit tighter. She’d been alone in this for so long she thought she would drown in the circumstances. Now though, with Callie’s reassuring smile and gentle squeezes to her hand, Abby realized she wasn’t as alone as she thought.

 

* * *

 

“Okay so, let me get this straight,” Callie begins, rubbing the temples of her head. “You slept with this girl, not knowing she even went to the university?”

“Yes.”

“And she was failing the class, so now you’re her tutor?”

“Yes.”

“That’s messed up.”

Abby sighed, nodding as she rubbed the back of her neck with her hand.

After Abby had opened up to the situation, the pair had left the bar, moving to a quieter location to chat. It was mostly for the sake of keeping the fact that Abby slept with a student away from the prying ears of others at the bar, but also because Callie was the kind of person who asked for more details than would be appropriate in a public space with so many people around.

They had ended up on one of the boardwalks near the water, with the sun setting against the ocean not far from them. Even with the shorter days, the light was enough to where Abby could see where she was going, though not enough to make out the finer details of the surrounding area.

As Callie sat on one of the benches, Abby followed, sitting close to her friend for warmth as a breeze passed by.

“Well, it could be worse,” Callie says softly as her arm rests on the back of the bench. “You could have feelings for this girl. Raven, right?”

Abby nods, pressing her hands together as she licked her lips. “That’s the issue. She makes me so nervous, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the situation or if it’s because there is something there.”

“Do you want there to be?”

Shaking her head, Abby leans against Callie, resting her head on her shoulder. “No. Because what’s the point when we can’t act on it?”

“Who says you can’t?”

“You know exactly who says I can’t.”

She feels her friend’s body shake in contained laughter, and Abby lifts her head. Callie, who always tried to see the bright side of things, and wanted her to be happy so badly, was laughing and Abby could not place why.

“Do you have feelings for her?” Callie asks, turning to face Abby.

Pressing her lips together, Abby shrugs and rests her head against Callie’s shoulder once more. She wasn’t sure if she could answer, with her thoughts of Raven being so deeply pushed down. Part of her knew the answer, but the other won out over just letting silence be the answer for the question.

It seemed Callie understood, and Abby smiled as Callie wrapped her arm around the professor’s shoulders.

“Was the sex at least good?”

“ _Callie_ ,” Abby warned.

“Fine.”

Smirking, Abby looked out across the water, shivering slightly as another breeze passed by. Moving as close as she could to her friend, Abby sighed.

“It was the best I've had in years.”

 

* * *

 

It came with the college territory, Raven knew that. She knew this would happen, especially with Octavia being just a freshman in college. Still, she had hoped she wouldn’t be the one to carry a very drunk and upset Octavia from a party to Bellamy’s car, where he waited with more amusement than worry for his little sister.

When Raven had gotten the call from Octavia, she had been sleeping due to the fact that she had an exam the following morning. She had groaned when she looked at the time when her friend had basically begged Raven to come get her. But with Octavia sounding close to tears, Raven knew she couldn’t exactly say no. However now, with the very intoxicated freshman drunkenly dangling as Raven carried her on her back, she began to question the decision.

“Raven you’re so pretty,” Octavia says with a soft giggle, causing Raven to roll her eyes.

“Thank you.”

“But you need to get laid.”

Raven glared towards the car, digging her nails into Octavia’s thighs as a warning. “Thank you, Octavia, but maybe stop talking.”

Raven waited as Bellamy opened back door of the car, helping Octavia in the car and laying her in the back seat. Raven moved into the front passenger seat, Bellamy sliding into the driver’s seat and he pulled out of the parking lot of the overcrowded apartment complex.

They were mostly silent at first, the sound of wind hitting the car and Octavia’s occasional giggles. Finally, Raven felt Bellamy’s eyes look over to her every minute of so.

“What?”

Bellamy shrugged, eyes turning back to the road.

“Nothing. Just wondering if you know why we’re out at three in the morning picking up my sister who somehow got fifteen minutes away from where you two live.”

Sighing, Raven rubbed her hands over her eyes, attempting to rub away the remnants of sleep that remained there.

“She went to a party with another one of our friends, Harper. Their ride was Maya and Jasper. Maya and Jasper got into a fight, which meant they were out of a ride. This proceeded to Octavia calling Lincoln and apparently they got into a fight.” Furrowing her brows, she looked to Bellamy with a shrug, “To be honest I’m shocked I even understood half of what she said.”

“You’re a good friend,” Bellamy replies, reaching over and patting Raven on the shoulder. “Why didn’t she call me, though?”

“She thought you would be mad.”

“So you called me?”

Chuckling, Raven turned and let her gaze fall out the window. “It’s not like I have a car. Plus, I figured you’d be awake.”

“You know me so well.”

Raven shrugs, eyes watching the passing trees. “So how’re you and the Anya chick?”

“ _The_ Anya chick?”

“Yes.”

Laughing, Bellamy shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “We’re good, actually. I’m meeting her foster mom this weekend, actually.”

Raising an eyebrow, Raven turns her gaze to Bellamy once again. “Wow, really? Isn’t it kind of early for that?”

“We’ve been dating for about two months, Raven,” Bellamy begins, glancing to her again, “and I really like her.”

The crooked smile that came over Raven’s face was one she wasn’t able to stop. She may have not seen the Blake siblings in ten years prior to moving back to the coastal town, but she knew Bellamy pretty well. Skype conversations with Octavia and Bellamy alike have shown time and time again that Bellamy was more of a “hit it and quit it” type of guy. It wasn’t a bad thing, but the only girlfriend Bellamy has ever had that anyone could call “serious” had been a three month relationship he had his freshman year of college. After than, nothing.

But now, seeing Bellamy smile and duck his head at just the mentioning of Anya, Raven couldn’t help but smile too. She’d never seen him this happy, and for a moment, she wondered if this was how she looked when she had been with Finn.

_Or when I talk about Abby._

Shaking the thought from her mind, Raven nods her head and places an encouraging hand on the bartender’s shoulder. “I’m happy for you, Bell.”

“Yeah?”

Raven nods, letting her eyes turn back to the road. “Yeah. You and Octavia both, you seem so happy.”

“Do you think mom would like her?”

Aurora was not often mentioned. It wasn’t out of malice or dislike, more because it was a subject that everyone just preferred not to mention. When Aurora was diagnosed with cancer, Bellamy was 15, and Raven wasn’t there. Raven has just moved to Texas with her mom by that time and the only form of comfort she could offer to Octavia was phone calls late at night where one of them was crying.

Bellamy had always been close to his mother, so when she died, he had been distraught and lost. That was when Bellamy and Raven had bloomed their friendship, because Raven was the same with her mother’s addiction. The lost always tended to find one another.

After a moment, Raven began to nod her head, the picture of Aurora’s smiling face from old photographs filling her mind.

“Yeah,” she replies finally, “she would. I bet your mom would show her old baby photos and Anya would hold them over your head as blackmail.”

Shooting her a glare, Bellamy pursed his lips. “My baby photos are perfect, there is nothing to be blackmailed with.”

“I seem to recall a photo of five year old you running naked through a church.”

“We agreed never to speak of that!”

Raven bit her bottom lip, body shaking from contained laughter. “Careful, you’ll wake your very drunk sister.”

Narrowing his gaze, Bellamy looked back to the road. “I’ve got my eye on you, Reyes. That photo should be removed from existence.”

“I should post it on Facebook and tag you in it, you mean.”

“You’re dead to me.”

 

* * *

 

“Monty wasn’t kidding.”

“What?”

“You really are bad when it comes to diagrams and flashcards.”

Narrowing her eyes, Raven purses her lips as Abby just smiles as she holds in a laugh.

“The rest of the class wasn’t kidding.”

Abby’s eyebrow rose in confusion.

“You really are the Dragon Lady.”

Laughter finally breaks from Abby’s lips, and Raven swears it’s the sweetest sound she’s ever heard.

“That’s what they call me? Monty made it sound so much more threatening than it really is.”

Since discovering she needed to ask for help, Raven has learned that tutoring sessions with Abby are not the cure to her crush after all. In fact, she wasn’t entirely sure if she could call it just a crush anymore. With Abby’s sweet smile and laughter and passion for what she teaches, Raven couldn’t help the way her heart swelled and the butterflies that filled her gut. Abby was so intoxicating, Raven couldn’t stop the feelings that continued to develop anymore. She wasn’t entirely sure if she wanted to.

Raven shrugs, a smile playing across her lips. “Our class is not all that creative in terms of nicknames.”

Abby clucks her tongue and shakes her head, putting the index cards into a neat stack on her desk. “Obviously.”

Raven felt her heart beat a little louder when Abby turned her gaze back to her, “So, if those don’t work… What’re my options?”

“Well, I have one idea,” Abby says simply, standing and walking to the corner of her office where a life-sized skeleton hung. Raven had never seen one of these outside of her middle school science classrooms; and that fact the Abby owned one was enough to make the student chuckle.

“You laugh, but it might be your only way to learn,” Abby retorts to Raven’s not so subtle laughter, wheeling the skeleton in front of Raven. “Now, this is simple. I’m going to say a part of the body, you touch it on the skeleton. Sound easy?”

Grinning, Raven nods. She certainly was much more of a hands on learner, so this was right up her alley.

“Okay, we can start simple. Scapula.”

Raven points to the scapula, and Abby nods, pressing her lips together as though in thought.

“Okay, now show me the ulna and radius.”

Raven does so, and the process continues for awhile. For a moment, Raven feels like she’s actually understanding the class that has been causing her to struggle so much. The class that has kept her up into the late hours and has had her tossing and turning and trying _everything_ just to keep her head above water. Her confidence, finally, is coming back.

An approving smile has appeared on Abby’s lips, and Raven is thankful for her darker complexion as it hides the rising blush.

“Now, a harder one. Where’s the humeral coronoid fossa?

The confidence that had built within the last five minutes vanishes. Raven is trying so hard to appear confident, even if it’s why she was doing so poorly in the class to begin with. Biting her lip, Raven’s eyes go from Abby, to the the skeleton, and back again. She knows how this works, Abby won’t actually help unless she says she doesn’t know. It both irks and stirs something within her.

Finally, Raven lets out a sigh. “I have no idea what that even is.”

Nodding, Abby, lays out the palm of her hand, which Raven just looks at with confusion.

“Give me your arm.”

It takes more than Raven will ever admit to keep from showing any sign of hesitation or embarrassment. This woman has seen her naked and Raven cannot describe why she still makes her so nervous with just a look or a smile. The idea of Abby’s skin against her own again, however minimal, it’s enough to make a chill run up her spine.

Reaching out, Raven offers her arm, which Abby gently takes and turns so the inside of the arm is facing upward. A delicate hand wraps around Raven’s wrist to keep her from moving, while fingers trace slowly from wrist up towards the bend of her arm. She feels goosebumps prickle her skin, leaving a path from where Abby’s fingers had been and where they were going. Abby clearly hadn’t noticed though, Raven decided, as her eyes glanced quickly up to the professor. Abby’s eyes were trained on Raven’s arms, and she imagined it to be how Abby would’ve been if she were a surgeon. Precise, focused, and in her own world.

Fingers stopped just above the soft skin of where Raven’s arm bent, pressing gently.

“Here,” Abby says with certainty. “This is your humeral coronoid fossa. It’s not a bone, it’s a depression in your arm.”

Raven nods blindly, not entirely sure she’ll remember anything but the touch of Abby’s fingers as they continue to trace up her arm. She’s naming bones and depressions and places where bones meet and she feels like she’s going to explode. It’s clear Abby doesn’t realize this effect that she has on her, hands moving and both of her thumbs pressed against Raven’s forehead.

“What’s this?”

Raven feels her throat tighten and she isn’t entirely sure that, even if she spoke, that the words would be coherent enough to be an answer.

_Get a grip, Reyes._

Clearing her throat, Raven lets herself take this time to be able to admire Abby without worry of repercussions. “Frontal bone.”

The thumbs on her forehead are removed and gentle fingers are placed next to her nose, above her teeth. “And this?”

Raven releases a shaky breath, her eyes tracing over Abby’s determined and focused jawline, “Maxilla.”

She isn’t sure if it’s how she says it, but Abby’s eyes lock with hers. Almost as if she becomes aware of what she’s doing, but her fingers don’t leave Raven’s face. Their gazes are locked as Abby’s fingers move to the left, resting on Raven’s cheek.

“This?” Abby says, voice lacking the determination it once had. It was softer now, more intimate.

Licking suddenly dry lips, Raven scans across Abby’s eyes. She’s looking for something in those dark eyes, some sort of indication for what she’s thinking. But that wall is blocking Raven and she can’t see past the question at hand.

“Zygomatic.”

Abby’s fingers trace down, even slower this time, towards her jaw. She almost moves at the pace of one gentle trace at a time, and Raven swears she sees Abby’s lips tremble as fingers reach their destination. Her fingers rest there for awhile before her thumb reaches up, tracing along the strong line. Raven is sure she’d be blushing if the contact weren’t so sensual, curious, and pure. The curiosity they could not explore in the dark studio above a bar beginning to take over.

“And this?”

“Mandible,” Raven says softly, careful not to break whatever this was.

Abby was so close Raven could smell the intoxicating citrus scent of her skin and mint in her hair. She could see the different shades of brown dancing in Abby’s eyes, but her eyes mostly kept glancing to the pale pink lips. Lips she’s been craving since that morning after; that traced her skin and whispered obscenities and wishes and desires.

But then Abby pulled away, and Raven wasn’t sure if she were thankful or upset. If Abby had been there a moment more Raven was sure she wouldn’t be able to contain herself further. The professor stood and grabbed a hold of the pole holding the fake skeleton upwards, beginning to move it away and back to the corner it belonged. Her back was to Raven, and the student was certain it was so she could cool whatever heat had developed.

“I think that’s all for today,” Abby said calmly, back still to Raven as she seemingly adjusted the plastic before her.

Raven nodded, even though Abby couldn’t see it. She was quick to grab her bag and move outside of the office, shutting the door behind her before her back fell against it. Her heart was pounding in her ears, blood rushing through her, and her knees felt weak as she tried to play the last few moments back over in her brain.

At least now, Raven could take comfort in knowing she was not alone in this bizarre dilemma that plagued them. Abby felt it too.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, and thank you again for the comments and kudos!!!! Sorry the word count is a little low this time around, I promise to make it up to you all. Enjoy the update!

“How’s the cold weather in the Pacific Northwest treating you?”

“Probably not nearly as bad as it’ll get for you in about a week, Wick.”

“You only say that because you miss me.”

Raven can’t help but smile at her friend on her computer screen. It had been so long since she had seen Kyle that she was beginning to forget the sarcasm and sass between them. They would text and talk on the phone, but only in between Raven’s classes and when she had time around tutoring and studies. The time between it all was so minimal, she found herself forgoing sleep and eating. It wasn’t even a matter of not wanting to, but a matter of being so focused on doing well that she forgets the essentials to life.

When she was in Texas, she had Wick to remind her of it. He would bring her tupperware containers of his mom’s cooking when she was working in the garage, or when she was in her dorm. He was the one who reminded her that the book, the homework - all of it - it would be there the next day for her to return to. She had found something similar in the Blake siblings, but nothing like Kyle.

He was the one who was there for her after what happened with Finn and her mom, something no one else was really able to be there for. Kyle was her rock in a way, and no amount of other people could replace him in that sense.

“No, I just heard there was going to probably be another ice storm. And it’s November, you probably don’t have much longer to survive. Maybe you should’ve listened to your crazy neighbors about building that bunker.”

Kyle’s eyes go wide and Raven cannot help the laughter that pours from her lips.

“So cold, Reyes.”

“Yeah, I love you too.”

Kyle sighs and leans back in his chair, and Raven can’t help but roll her eyes. He has that stupid grin on his face, like he knows _something_ but doesn’t want to tell her.

She purses her lips, letting out an exasperated sigh, “What, Wick?”

“Oh, nothing,” he begins. He’s leaning so far back now that Raven is sure the chair will either break or tip over. “I just heard that someone is banging their professor and neglected to tell me.”

Her nostrils flare and she looks over her shoulder from her spot at the desk. Octavia is sitting on her bed, book in hand, and it’s clear she can’t hear them, especially since Raven is able to hear the remnants of the music blasting from her friend’s headphones. She knows why Octavia told him, but she’s more so suspicious on how her friend even got a hold of Wick. And from there, how the two even managed to talk long enough for _this_ to come up.

Flicking her gaze back to Wick, she shrugs. It feels like her entire life has become about Abby Griffin and their night. For once, she hoped for a conversation that drifted away from it all. Of course, that wasn’t the case.

“We banged once. It was hot, and I didn’t know she was my professor at the time. Now she’s my professor and tutor. The end. Now can we move on and talk about how your mom is doing or something?”

Kyle leans back forward, shocked by Raven’s reaction she assumes, and raises an eyebrow. He lets out a low whistle and shakes his head. “Damn Reyes, that bad?”

“That bad what?”

“Your feelings for her.”

She can’t stop the glare that comes over her eyes. She hates this, all of it. She hates how at the mention of Abby she becomes weak and her emotions play over her face without any hesitation. Her life has become nothing but avoiding the mention of Abby entirely. And if it does happen, then attempt to change the subject.

Her crush has sprouted into something she doesn’t dare name, ever. With Octavia asking her nearly every other day how things with Abby are going, Bellamy reminding Raven that the professor hasn’t showed up to the bar since that one night, and Lincoln just giving her a kind smile and a wink; Raven is sure she’s going to explode. Everything is Professor Griffin, from her sweet smile, gentle touch, and knowing gaze. Even with only a little under three weeks left of the semester, she isn’t entirely sure she’ll survive less she rip out her own heart to stop from feeling whatever this is.

“Kyle, please,” Raven whispers, and she’s hoping he hears it, even if it’s through the computer. She isn’t sure she can say it again.

He furrows his brows before nodding, rubbing the blonde scruff around his jaw before sighing. “Octavia thought you might like to actually talk to someone about it. You know, real talk, rather than make really sarcastic comments and dodge it.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Raven huffs, “All I do _is_ talk about it. My entire life has become about her.”

“Maybe that’s because it’s what your life is supposed to be about.”

Her eyebrow is raised, and Raven can’t stop the sideways and sarcastic smile that forms on her lips. “Done” is what would best describe her in the moment. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Kyle raises his hands, a sign of surrender. “Hey, hear me out.”

He runs his hands through his hair, as though he was trying to gather himself, and some confidence, before he continued. “Look, from what I hear, all you do is talk about her, but mostly because _you_ bring her up. And maybe you do that only because you’re with her three days a week, but I don’t know. It sounds more like you have feelings for her.”

Raven presses her lips together, relaxing a bit at his words. Kyle was only trying to help, to be the friend she had always known him to be. She’s been trying to move past this for three months and she hasn’t been able to, and she knows why. She likes Abby, as childish as it sounds to her. The issue at hand is she doesn’t do well with wanting what she can’t have, and Abby is definitely something she can’t have. Not now.

“You don’t have to admit it,” Kyle says, breaking Raven from her fog. “I just think that, maybe, it would be good if you did. Maybe even helpful.”

“Helpful how?”

“You can’t fix something unless you admit it’s there.”

Biting her bottom lip, Raven nods, looking down to her damaged leg. If anyone knew those words were true, Raven did.

“Plus,” Kyle continues, “I saw a picture and I can’t blame you at all.”

Raven cracks at that, a full laugh erupting from her. “Okay, okay, that’s fair. But, here’s the thing…”

Her eyes soften then, her heart pounding and stomach fluttering because she knows, once she says this, she can’t deny anything anymore. Taking a deep breath, Raven shuts her eyes for a moment, gaining confidence. She’s thankful for Kyle’s patient nature in this moment, because she’s sure that if he rushed her, she’d never get the words out.

“What if I don’t want it fixed?”

Kyle just smiles, and she’s certain that if her were with her, he’d grip her shoulder and squeeze a little too hard. Just like he always did. “Then I guess you admitted to it.”

 

* * *

 

“When you say you’re coming to visit me, I assume you mean you’re coming to visit _me_ , not my coffee pot.”

Cece only rolls her eyes, waving Abby off. “You know I’m a sucker for free coffee.”

Abby lets out a huff of air, leaning back into her chair. She loved when she was able to see Callie, really, but she did not need the added stress of knowing grins and glances every time they saw one another now. Especially since Raven would be coming for tutoring within the hour.

“Well, you have your free coffee. Shouldn’t you be bugging your husband?”

“He has a lecture,” Callie replies with a shrug. “Plus, after I started a very small protest in his classroom - demonstrating political rights, of course - he said I’m not allowed to visit his classes anymore.”

Smirking, Abby leans forward, eyebrow raised. “Oh? How come I haven’t heard about this?”

“I mentioned it at dinner on Sunday.”

“You were drunk before dinner was even served, are you sure about that?”

Callie opens her mouth to respond, but shuts it. It’s clear she’s trying to recall, which only leaves Abby chuckling and shaking her head.

“I thought I did,” Callie eventually mumbles, but shrugs it off as she moves around Abby’s desk. She sits on the edge of it, positioning herself almost entirely in front of Abby, and crosses her legs. “Speaking of things I may have not mentioned, have you thought about my offer?”

“Which one?”

Shrugging, Callie takes a tentative sip of her coffee. “Both, I guess.”

Chuckling, Abby licks her lips. “I can be your date to the Christmas Gala, yes. I don’t understand why you’re asking me and not Kane though.”

“I did ask Marcus,” Callie replies, a sigh escaping her lips. “You know how he is. He likes being in charge of stuff, but he hates parties like that. I need someone to be my buffer, so you’re second pick.”

“How flattering.”

“I try.” Raising an eyebrow, Callie taps Abby’s arm gently with her shoe. “What about the other offer?”

Abby sighs, rubbing her temples. Ever since Callie has left the university, she has been asking Abby to accompany her in the leave, even though it’s only been a matter of months. The job offer was a nice one, she knew that. She’d have better hours, meaning more time with Clarke, and a pretty hefty pay raise. Still, she hesitated, and she wasn’t entirely sure why she did. But with Raven coming soon, she decided to not discuss or think of the offer at hand. Not now, at least.

Pursing her lips, Abby’s eyes go to the clock before looking back to Callie. “You should really get going soon.”

A pout forms over Callie’s lips, and it then dawns on Abby who taught Clarke that damned pout that makes Jake go weak at their daughter’s pleas.

“Why? I was just getting comfortable.”

“Because,” Abby begins, leaning back into her chair once more, “I have tutoring soon and I don’t know _when_ exactly she’ll show up, but I do know it’ll be pretty soon.”

Callie’s brows furrow, but then it’s as though a light bulb goes off in her head as she takes a sip of her coffee. Part of Abby is so certain that Cece is going to say something, she prepares as many scenarios and comebacks in her head that she can within a few seconds. But instead, Callie is beginning to stand, cup in hand and releasing a sigh from her lips.

“Alright, fine, if you insi-”

Abby swears it was on purpose that Callie slipped as she moves off the desk, causing the cup in her hand to slip just so. She hisses as the coffee from her friend’s cup spilled over, hot liquid hitting her skin and top. The professor is quick to back away and stand, as if that will somehow solve the issue of skin turning red and her shirt being completely ruined. In that moment, she cursed herself for wearing white in public.

“Son of a-” Abby let her words get cut off, shooting a glare to her friend who was just smiling.

“Oh no, your shirt!” Callie sets the half empty cup of coffee down, reaching out to Abby. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yes, and there’s no such thing as global warming,” Abby retorts, shaking her head as she looks down to her top.

Callie chuckles slightly, shrugging her shoulders as she backs away, holding her hands in the air. “Alright, fine. Do you want to borrow mine?”

Raising an eyebrow, Abby looks over Callie. “I’m not taking your shirt. I’m not having Kane yell at me for letting your walk topless through campus.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Callie sing-songed, walking over to her oversized purse. “But that’s not what I meant. I have an extra shirt in my purse.”

“Why?”

“Date night.”

Sighing, Abby nods, holding her hand out for whatever shirt Callie would give her. “Okay, yes, please. But hurry, Raven could be here any second.”

Callie pulls the top from her bag and hands it to Abby before offer out her own hand. “Give me your shirt, I’ll wash it for you tonight to make up for spilling coffee on it.”

Scoffing, Abby sets the new shirt down before reaching for the hem of her own, beginning to pull it up. “It’s white, you won’t get the stain out.”

“I have a few tricks up my sleeve,” Callie says simply.

Abby can only shake her head, pulling the shirt over her head and tossing it to Callie. It’s then that she hears a low whistle, causing her to raise an eyebrow.

“It seems you have some tricks up your sleeve as well.”

“It’s nothing you haven’t been before.”

“Skin wise, of course. But that bra… Are you sure you’re not trying to impress Raven?”

Abby can feel the heat of a blush rising from her chest and she looks down to her bra before looking back to Callie. “What? It’s just a bra.”

“No, that’s borderline lingerie in bra form.”

Biting her bottom lip, Abby looks down to the bra again, and she's thankful for a moment that she somehow managed to not have coffee on it as well. Its white lace compliments her skin tone, but she knows that isn't what Callie’s talking about. Bits of it are see through, the lace heavier around the nipple area to cover it, but the majority of the bra having it as pure decoration. In the morning, she was certain she had thrown it on because she couldn’t find any other bra to put under her shirt; but now, with Callie’s grin and skeptical eyes, she can’t help but second guess herself.

Clearing her throat, Abby picks the shirt back off from the chair. “Yes, well, it’s holding my breasts up and keeps them hidden-”

“Hardly.”

“So I think it works just fine.”

Callie shrugs, sitting down in a seat on the other side of the desk. “Whatever you say, Ab.”

Pulling the shirt over her head, Abby takes a second to actually look over the article of clothing given to her. She shouldn’t be as shocked as she is, but as she looks down to the slightly see through grey tank top, her face goes hot. Yes, Callie had said this was for “date night,” but Abby wasn’t expecting this. A tank like top, grey and partially translucent, with the holes for her arms being so wide that they showed part of the white bra Callie had been eyeing just seconds before.

She isn’t mad, per say. She’s more flustered with the fact that Raven would be walking through that door at any second and this is the last thing she wants to be seen in. Especially by her student.

“It certainly flatters you,” Callie laughs out, hand covering her lips to try and contain it.

Abby’s eyes narrow and she looks to her friend, nostrils flaring. “Cece, this isn’t funny.”

“You’re right, it’s hilarious.”

Letting out a breath Abby runs her fingers through her slightly curled hair. “I can’t wear this in front of her.”

Shrugging, Callie rummages in her purse. “You don’t have much of a choice, Abby. Besides, how long is tutoring? An hour, maybe? You can survive that long in that.”

Biting her bottom lip, Abby lets out a sigh of defeat. “Okay, fine. But explain this to me: How the hell is this a date shirt?”

“It shows off a lot of skin, Kane likes it.”

“It’s nearly Thanksgiving, Cece. It’s too cold to show this much skin.”

Callie looks down at Abby’s chest before flicking her eyes back to her purse. “You can certainly say that again.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Abby licks her lips. “What’re you looking for, anyway?”

“This!” Callie exclaims, pulling a small bottle from her purse. She moves towards Abby, opening the cap before dabbing a bit onto her fingers. “My coffee kind of burned you, and this helps.”

Abby is about to protest, but then Callie’s fingers are on her chest, soothing the reddened skin. The touch is so familiar, and she’s appreciative of her friend for helping her, but _god_ , if Raven-

“Woah, shit, am I interrupting?”

Her eyes go to the door and she knows she’s blushing heavily. Raven’s eyes are covered and Abby wants to slap away Callie’s hands. However, when she looks to Callie, there is an apology in her eyes and Abby lets her finish rubbing the cream on her chest, knowing that at least this was not part of her friend's plan.

“No, Raven, it's fine. Callie was helping me fix a burn and she’ll be leaving. Now.”

Callie grins as she pulls away, putting the lid back onto the bottle and throwing it back into her bag. “Yes, sorry for the intrusion.” She grabs her bag, heading towards the door. “Nice to meet you, Raven. I’ve heard plenty about you.”

Abby is close to throwing her stapler at Cece, but her friend turns and waves before exiting, shutting the door behind her.

Clearing her throat, Abby looks to Raven and smiles. The smile is mostly to mask the wave of embarrassment she feels, not only for Raven’s timing, but for what might be the longest hour of her life.

“So,” Abby begins, gesturing to the chair Raven usually sits in, “shall we get started?”

 

* * *

 

Raven traces the neck of her beer bottle, brows furrowed as she replays the earlier events of the day over in her head. She shouldn’t be bothered by it, or really thinking about it at all, but she is. She can’t stop the images of Abby in that stupid tank that she’s certain should be illegal. Her mind is full of glimpses of white lace and the burning desire to reach out and touch it. She may have told Wick that she didn’t want to remedy this crush turned full on liking, but she was now seriously debating that decision.

Feeling a hand on her back, Raven jumps, turning to see Octavia smiling as she slides into the stool next to her at the bar.

“What’re you doing here?”

“Hello to you too,” Octavia replies, eyebrow raised. “And I was worried when you didn’t come back to the dorm after your tutoring session, so I called Bell. He said you were here.”

Raven shoots a quick glance towards Bellamy, who is at the opposite end of the bar, talking with Anya. Sighing, she rests her forehead in her hand.

“Today was really interesting and I needed a drink and some quiet,” Raven says softly, her free hand gripping the bottle of her beer.

She hears Octavia order something, but her eyes are trained on Raven the entire time. She’s thankful for her friend in this moment because, in all honesty, it would be best if she just talked this out with someone rather than question the entirety of it for the hundredth time.

As the drink was slid in front of Octavia, she gestures to Raven. “Alright, spill. What did Professor Griffin do now? Did she touch your face again, because I don’t know if I can handle another hour long conversation about how soft her fingers were and how she smells like oranges.”

“Citrus and mint,” Raven corrects, and she immediately clears her throat afterward. “But no, it was… Worse than that.”

“Worse?”

“Okay not exactly _worse_ , but definitely unexpected and enough to have me drinking the night before an early class.”

“Well, I can see that,” Octavia mumbles, taking a sip of her drink. “You’re beating around the bush, what happened?”

Lifting her head and taking a sip of her beer, Raven takes a deep breath through her nose. “I say her bra.”

If Raven were honest, she expected the same freak out Octavia had had over when she told her about the face touching at another tutoring session. But instead, Octavia’s brow is raised as if she were expecting something more dramatic.

“That’s it? I’m pretty sure I can see the outline of her bra in nearly every class.”

“No, no listen.” Turning to face Octavia entirely, Raven licks her lips as the image moves through her mind again. “I saw her bra because she was wearing this shirt that was, not only see through, but because it was practically a club shirt; and it left little to the imagination.”

The wheels are spinning in Octavia’s head, Raven can see that from the searching gaze. And then, it’s like everything falls into place as blue eyes go wide. “ _Oh_ ,” she says softly, taking a sip of her drink. “Oh god.”

Nodding, Raven reaches out and takes Octavia’s hand as she continues. “Yes. So every time she moved, I saw that stupid lace bra. And that bra was hardly even there, the side boob action was so on point.”

Licking her lips, Octavia sets her drink down. “So wait, was it on purpose? I mean, she knew you were coming in for tutoring, didn’t she?”

“She said her friend spilled coffee on her shirt and that was the replacement.”

Scoffing, Octavia shook her head. “Yeah, sure it was.”

“I didn’t believe her at first either,” Raven replies with a shrug, pulling back and taking another sip of her beer. “Here’s the thing though, she did have a bit of a burn on her chest, which the friend, Callie, put cream on-”

“Wait, why do you know that?”

“Because I walked in when it was being applied.”

Both eyebrows shoot up as Octavia shakes her head. “You have terrible timing, Raven.”

Groaning, Raven nods and turns back to face the bar. “Yes, I know, okay? But basically, today was interesting. And I hated every second of it.”

Octavia’s mouth opens but shuts quickly, and Raven knows it’s because she was about to ask why. But then it’s like a sudden realization dawns on her and her lips form an "O" before she speaks. “You were jealous…”

Pressing her lips together, Raven doesn’t respond to that. She’s not a jealous person, never has been. But seeing Callie’s fingers against Abby’s chest, it ignited something in her. To top it off, the way Abby was blushing the entire time it was happening, it made her feel sick. Nothing would come of her feelings, she knew that, but the jealousy burned within her regardless. Even with Abby telling her Callie was actually Professor Kane’s wife, she still felt the flame.

_She can touch what I can’t._

She feels a hand on her shoulder, and her eyes look to Octavia. Octavia, who smiles so brightly and who has the most sympathetic eyes, just squeezes her shoulder.

“Don’t beat yourself up over this, Raven. I doubt Professor Griffin would lie to you about it, and regardless, what does it matter? You’re still pretty dead set on nothing happening, so why care?”

“Because,” Raven starts, eyes falling from Octavia’s, “I kind of wish something would happen.”

 

* * *

 

_Abby swears it’s the greatest feeling she’s had in a long time. To have someone’s lips moving down her neck, chest, and stomach. She feels so hot and everything has been so heavy on her that this - the feeling of someone’s tongue dipping into her navel before traveling downwards, further to where she needs release - is exactly what she needs._

_The tongue is hot against her slit and she can’t stop from crying out and gripping the sheets beneath her. It’s been months since she’s had this feeling, a feeling of being completely free, yet owned, that she doesn’t care who it is between her legs. She just welcomes the feeling of someone lapping at wet folds._

_“Fuck,” she moans, back arching off the mattress. She feels nails dig into her hips, an attempt to hold her in place. But it’s hard to keep still when lips wrap around her clit and a finger sliding inside of her._

_Her hips rock in session with the movement of the finger inside of her, and she can’t help but whimper as it slows._

_“Patience,” she hears, and the voice is so familiar, but she doesn’t read into it. Instead, she continues to rock her hips, a second finger slowly sliding inside of her._

_Lips move from her clit to her thighs, nipping and biting and Abby is so close. She feels the stir in her lower abdomen, her walls tightening around fingers and she’s desperate._

_“Please, more,” she pleads, eyes trained on the ceiling as her nails start to dig through the sheets and into the palm of her hands._

_The chuckle she hears, it sends a chill down her spine. It’s arousing and dominant and she isn’t sure if the moan she releases is from that or the bite against her inner thigh. But the request is fulfilled, a third finger sliding inside of her and lips wrapping back around her clit._

_As she comes against the fingers, she tries to bite back her cry. But as stars begin to fill the ceiling she lets it out, hips rocking quicker and harder against lips and talented fingers, riding out her orgasm. Her breathing is heavy, and even as fingers are removed, she still feels the blood rushing in her ears._

_“God,” Abby says softly, a wide smile coming over her lips._

_“Raven works just fine.”_

Sitting up quickly in her bed, Abby breathes heavily. Raven is gone from between her legs, but she feels a thin layer of sweat coating her body. Her eyes try to adjust to the darkness of her bedroom and glance to her bedside table, reading the numbers that flash in bright red.

_4:45 A.M._

Placing a hand on her chest, Abby attempts to calm her pounding heart as it slowly dawns on her what actually just happened. She had a sex dream, and that in it of itself wasn’t bad. It’s more who it was about that has her questioning her morals and her current standing as a professor at Ark University. Part of her wants to scream, but Clarke is down the hall, and she doesn’t want to wake her and cause her worry.

_When did everything get so bad?_

It’s easy to blame Callie for this, because part of Abby is certain it is her fault. Callie, who “accidentally” ruined her shirt and put her into something she wasn’t even sure was age appropriate right before Raven shows up for tutoring. And the way Callie showed off slightly, rubbing burn ointment into Abby’s chest and how she told Raven that Abby had spoken about her. Everything was a mess, but this dream? It was destructive and damning.

The entire tutoring session Abby could feel Raven’s eyes burning into her. They scoped out every inch of visible flesh, which was basically everything from her waist up due to the shirt’s material. Part of her thinks she tried to hide some of the skin, at least a bit. However, the other part knows she played into it, allowing flashes of her bra and more skin to show than is ever really appropriate in front of a student.

For months Abby has been avoiding the admittance of feelings, only to break down slightly in front of Callie when asked. Even then, she couldn’t really _say_ how she felt. However, with Cece’s knowing gaze and grin, Abby knew she didn’t even have to. But admitting them to herself, she’s been able to avoid that for so long that now she’s trapped and has to. This was wrong and she shouldn’t be feeling anything towards Raven, at least not these feelings.

She likes Raven, and therein lies her issue. It is no longer a matter of hiding the fact that she slept with someone before knowing they were her student, it’s now about how she’s developed feelings for that student.

Running her fingers through her hair, Abby sighs and lets herself fall back onto the bed.

“You don’t even know her,” she whispers to the empty room, squeezing her eyes shut. The image of Raven’s head between her thighs is all she sees and she has to open them.

This is now at the point of being out of hand, and she isn’t entirely sure she can actually fix and rectify it. She can’t cancel tutoring sessions with Raven, even though she’s sure it is the only actual solution until the semester end. Raven needs her, and with the rising grade, Abby couldn’t pull back now. Plus, she was certain Raven would become suspicious if Abby did.

Grabbing a pillow and pulling it over her face, Abby let out a loud groan. This was complicated, stupid, and she was pretty sure that at this rate, she would be fired for social misconduct. In honesty, she wouldn't be upset at anyone if that were the case.

The thought of the job Callie mentioned earlier in the day ran through her mind again. At this point, it was looking more attractive than it had before. Perhaps no longer being a professor after this year, it would sate her mind. Plus, it was a better option than kicking herself over everything that’s lead her up to this point.

Inhaling deeply, Abby moves the pillow from her face and rolls onto her side, letting her eyes fall shut. Maybe it’s time to start thinking about Callie's job offer more seriously, rather than setting it on the back burner.

She tries to tell herself, as she falls asleep, that it’s only for the pay raise and time with Clarke that she’s going to call Callie tomorrow and discuss it further. It had nothing to do with her feelings for Raven or the limitations her current job caused.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, i hope the length of this chapter makes up for the shortness of last chapter! 
> 
> warning for the mentioning of needles and blood.

This was Raven’s element. It was her knowledge, her passion, and the only thing that could always help calm and destress her after nothing but studying. The feeling of grease covering most of her body, hands grasping cool metal, it was all so simple to her. It made sense, and in a world where things were currently making no sense at all, it was a welcomed relief. Granted, Bellamy was putting way more faith into her than he should with a 70's Maverick, but he probably sensed her need to do something, _anything_ , but bury her nose in a book.

“I’m still shocked he sold The Tank.”

Her head hits the hood of the car in her shock, causing Raven to groan as she backs out from underneath it and turns to where the voice came from. Her eyes go wide at seeing Anya, before a curious eyebrow rises.

Rubbing the back of her head, Raven nods. “Yeah, but that thing was a pile of garbage. Not that he really did any better with this one…”

Anya smiles, shrugging her shoulders. “Pretty sure it’s a midlife crisis. Plus, the outside of it is in near perfect condition, which is shocking for a car of this age.”

Raven is about to agree again but she hesitates, scanning over Anya. Bellamy had told Raven bits and pieces of Anya, but nothing really specific. And if she were honest, when he claimed that Anya was as much of a fan of cars as she was, she couldn’t help but think it was a joke. However, it appears that perhaps Bell wasn’t as crazy as he sounded.

“The electrical system is a bit fucked up though. I’m shocked he managed to even get it to the garage without stalling.”

“Oh, it did,” Anya corrected. “He’s just lucky I was driving behind him or he wouldn’t have ever gotten back here.”

They both chuckle, heads turning to look as the door to the garage as it opened. As Bellamy walked in, Raven could see, from the corner of her eyes, that Anya had covered her mouth to keep her laughter somewhat contained. Raven herself, on the other hand, could only roll her eyes as her friend made his way into the garage.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Raven asks.

As Bellamy looks down to his clothes, or lack there of, it’s clear he has no idea what Raven is talking about. “What? It’s hot.”

“It’s 33 outside and 40 in here; try again.”

“It’s practical?”

Shaking her head, Raven purses her lips. She’s shocked Bellamy is trying so hard to impress Anya at this stage in the game, especially considering how he’s already met Anya’s mother and family.

“Regardless, you’re not working on this car anyway, so go put on a shirt.”

“What, why not? It’s my car.”

“Yes, and if I let you touch it, you’ll be buying another within the week.”

His mouth drops open and he looks to his girlfriend, gesturing to Raven as if to find some sort of support.

“Sorry, Bell,” Anya sighed, “but you aren’t a car man. You’re a… Classics and _History Channel_ sort of man.”

A pout forms on Bellamy’s lips and Anya moves towards him, cupping his face in her hands and Raven can’t help but avert her eyes at the intimacy. She hears the sound of lips meeting skin, and she can't stop the slight smile on her lips.

“And there is nothing wrong with that. Leave the car stuff to the professionals.”

After a second, Raven hears an exasperated sigh from behind her as she tries to reach into the hood of the car to grab the wrench she had dropped.

“Fine,” Bellamy replies. “But Raven said she needed help with the car, so I assumed that help would be me.”

Turning back to face them, Raven shakes her head. “Definitely not. Lincoln is supposed to be here in a bit and he’s going to help me.”

Rolling his eyes, Bellamy nods, wrapping an arm around Anya’s waist. “Well, in that case, want to go see a movie? We can sneak beer in with that giant sack you call a purse.”

“It _is_ a purse,” Anya defends, pulling the large bag closer to her body, as though to defend it. “Do not hate what will be sneaking in our food and booze.”

Bellamy gets that crooked smile on his lips, one Raven knows is just for Anya, and she can’t help the small pain in her heart, because now she knows that smile and its meaning, because she has one for Abby.

“Are you going to be okay here by yourself until Lincoln gets here?” Bellamy asks, eyes leaving Anya to look to Raven.

Nodding, Raven rubs the back of her neck gently at the building tension in it from being hunched under a car for a good portion of the day. “Yeah, go have fun. Leave a note on the door so Lincoln actually lets me know he’s here and doesn’t give me a heart attack.” Her gaze shoots to Anya, who winks in response.

“Sure. Have fun with the car then.”

The pair turns and leaves, letting Raven return to her work with the car. It’s nice, familiar, and she needs this distraction from Abby. She’s been lying and telling herself how it’s mostly about taking a break from studies for upcoming finals, but Raven’s sure everyone who knows about her predicament with the professor also knows why she’s burying herself into her old hobby.

Fleeting thoughts of Abby have become more constant. Images of that damned white bra flash through her mind more frequently than she’d even admit, and part of her is certain that this is some sort of punishment for something she’d done in another life. At least with the ending of the semester, there wouldn’t be the daunting (yet exciting) every other day tutoring sessions.

The thing was, she wasn’t entirely sure she even wanted those to end. They were slightly awkward and something always seemed to happen that put both of them on edge, but if Raven were entirely honest, they were also the highlight of her week. Seeing Abby and hearing her laugh as Raven, sometimes on purpose, misnamed things and identified bones and muscles, it filled her with something she hasn’t felt in a long time.

_Since Finn._

The sound of loud knocking brings her back from her from her delusions, and she turns to look over her shoulder, smiling as Lincoln walks in with a six pack under his arm and the extra tools she had asked for in his other hand.

Yes, Raven thinks, a distraction like this is exactly what she needs to let her mind rest and not think of Abby so much.

 

* * *

 

Abby was the kind of person who tried very hard to keep an open mind. When she had gone to Callie after the dream, Abby was more than receptive to any ideas or suggestions of how to proceed. Granted, most of Callie’s ideas were the kind that would get her fired, but one idea wasn’t so bad. At least, not in theory.

Abby hadn’t been on a real date in the last two years, let alone a blind date. With her schedule, she never really had time to date, at least that was her main excuse. It was mostly that every time she was set up on a date, it never ended all that well. Something would get under her skin, especially with the men and woman Kane set her up with. But this was Callie, the woman who knew her better than she had known herself. Surely this wouldn’t go terribly, right?

_Wrong._

Abby purses her lips behind her wine glass as her date continues on about his extensive military career. And while some of it was fascinating, she’s the kind of person who would rather talk about anything but careers, or at least have it be a two way street. As soon as she mentioned her current position as a college professor, he immediately brushed it off as nothing of merit. While it wouldn’t have normally gotten under her skin, Abby is constantly reminding herself that Callie is the one who set this whole date up. A date who was nearly fifteen minutes late to begin with.

_I’m going to kill her._

“Excuse me, Alex? Can we maybe talk about something other than… Guns before we eat?”

“Commander Shumway,” he corrects, and Abby has to resist the urge to roll her eyes. It’s a date not a military reunion. “And alright, what would you like to talk about?”

Abby is about to respond, but as the waiter comes to their table, she stops and instead turns her attention to the man in a clean white shirt and black slacks.

“Good evening, my name is Connor, and I'll be your server tonight. I see you already have your drinks, so are you ready to place your orders?”

“Yes, we would,” Shumway says quickly, and Abby can only hope he has deep pockets for the amount of wine she’ll need to survive this dinner. At least up to the point when Callie is supposed to call her and be her possible escape. “I’d like the steak, medium rare, with a side of vegetables.” He gestures towards Abby, a small smile dancing on his lips, “And perhaps a small salad for the lady.”

Abby is about to lift her foot and grind her sharp heel into her date’s shoe, but resists. Instead she just smiles and shakes her head before turning to Connor. “I’ll actually be having the lobster, thank you. Extra butter.”

She doesn’t have to look across the table to know that an eyebrow is being raised at her response, especially considering she just ordered the most expensive thing she could find on the menu within a matter of seconds. The waiter just gives her a grin and a wink as he takes their menus and she feels there was a silent exchange between them. Mostly about whether saliva would be in her date’s steak or not.

Turning her head back to Shumway, she rests her elbows on the table and her head in her hands, the same cocky smile playing on her lips. “Now, as I was saying before, something other than guns?”

Clearing his throat, Shumway opens his mouth to speak before the sound of a ringtone interrupts him. Abby is confused at first, assuming it to be his or someone else’s. But he’s giving her a pointed look and she pulls back, furrowing her brows. Callie was supposed to call her and save her if needed, yes, but it’s abnormal for her to call this early into a date. Reaching into her purse and pulling out her phone, she looks over the number calling her and confusion goes deeper at the Texas area code dancing across her screen.

“Are you going to take that?”

Nodding after a moment, Abby stands and grabs her purse and wrap, gesturing towards the front of the restaurant where the restrooms are located. “Yes, I’m so sorry. I’ll be right back.”

“But you’re taking your wrap and purse, you could-”

“Right back,” Abby repeats, moving swiftly towards the quiet near the bathrooms and away from the peering gaze of fellow diners. Her gaze falls back to the phone, still ringing, and she decides it’s probably Callie calling from a friend’s phone.

_She needs to invest into a charger._

Swiping her finger to the right to answer the call, Abby let out an exasperated sigh. “Callie, I swear to god, if you set me up on this date as a joke I’ll-”

“Professor Griffin?”

Abby stops immediately, eyes going wide. She recognizes the voice, mostly because it’s the same one that answers most questions that she has during her lecture. But still, how the hell does she have Abby’s number?

“Octavia Blake? How the hell did you get my phone number?”

She hears a sigh on the other line. “You’re in Raven’s phone under ‘hot bar chick.’”

The heat rises in her chest and Abby knows she’s blushing furiously. She had completely forgotten about giving Raven her number, but the fact that she had kept it all this time was the shock.

She wants to demand Octavia change her name on Raven’s phone, but holds it in. “Right, well, is something wrong?”

“Sort of.” Abby hears the commotion on the other line. “Raven’s been hurt and-”

“Is she alright?” Abby interrupts, her voice going high in the sudden flood of panic and worry that crashes over her. It’s inappropriate at best, and she decides to not look into that worry further at the moment.

“Well, yes. But also no?” Octavia sighs, and Abby hears the slamming of car doors. “She’s hurt and I’m pretty sure she needs stitches.”

“Take her to the hospital,” Abby says matter of factly, her heart pounding as she tries to keep her voice from rising in worry.

“No insurance,” Octavia replies. “And she asked for you and gave me her phone.”

Abby lets a breath of air out of her nose, biting her bottom lip. Putting feelings for Raven aside, Abby is certain that she’d be breaking several school rules and probably a couple of laws for this, should she agree. She had taken an oath years ago, and it still meant the world to her, but there was the issue of where she would even get the supplies needed to give Raven the stitches it sounds like she needs.

Glancing out to where her date patiently sits, the idea that comes to Abby’s head is enough to make her grin.

_Killing two birds with one stone._

“Okay. Meet me in my office in twenty minutes. I have to make a quick stop before I can help.”

“Wait- really?”

Abby hears the uncertainty in Octavia’s voice, and it’s because even she knows this is pushing the limits of proper etiquette between professor and student. But Raven is hurt and Abby feels her heart tugging her towards her at this point. Besides, Callie owes her for the night she’s been dealing with.

“Yes. I’ll see you in twenty minutes.” She begins to pull her wrap on and pauses before hanging up, “Oh, and Octavia? Please, no one but you two.”

 

* * *

 

Out of everything Abby had seen of Raven, she was hopeful that Octavia was exaggerating the extent of Raven’s injuries. The idea of Raven being hurt was enough to have her legs moving as quickly as they could in her tight dress and high heels, and have her heart pounding loudly in her ears. She really shouldn’t be worrying as much as she is, but when she rounds the corner to her office she feels her heart plummet.

Even in the darkness, Abby can see the blood smeared across Raven’s face and the newly jagged shape of her nose. She knows what she's told patients before, it always looked worse than it actually was. However, seeing Raven being help up by Octavia and her head drooping slightly, Abby couldn’t help the pause in her step.

“Jesus christ,” she mutters, finding her step again and quickening it towards Raven. Any reservations about not touching Raven since the sex dream were gone as she nearly threw the small container she was carrying onto the chair outside her office, cupping Raven’s face in her hands, scanning over her. “What the hell happened?”

“Bar fight,” Octavia responds, shifting Raven’s weight. “Can we move into your office? She’s kind of heavy.”

Pulling back, Abby nods as she hurries with her keys, hands shaking as she tries to put it into the lock. She’s panicking and worrying and she knows she has to get a grip if she’s going to try and look Raven over to make sure she’s fine.

Turning the lock, Abby pushes the door open and grabs the small container in her hands once more, moving into the office and flicking on the lights. She moves swiftly towards the desk, throwing her organization out the window and pushing papers, pens, and photos off of the polished wood, letting them scatter on the floor. Looking over her shoulder, she sees a slightly stunned Octavia but Abby can’t find it in her to really care about anything other than the woman her student is carrying.

“Bring her over here,” Abby says quickly, moving over to help Octavia.

“I can walk, you know,” Raven interjected, even as she let Abby pull her arm over strong shoulders.

“Raven, no you can't,” Octavia replies.

Abby can’t help but chuckle, moving Raven to the desk. She pulls most of Raven’s weight onto herself before they reach the desk, spinning the other woman to face her before pushing her back so she can slide easily onto the desk.

“Can you sit up?” Abby asks, eyes scanning Raven’s face for any sign of acknowledgement.

Raven’s response is a slight nod as she adjust herself on the desk, the wince that passes her features not escaping Abby’s attention.

In the light, the injuries appear even worse. Raven’s nose is definitely broken, and there are a couple of gashes on her cheek and chin. She then notes how Raven’s hand is gripping her ribs, and Abby can’t help but sigh.

Turning to grab the kit, Abby places it next to Raven before turning to Octavia once more. “Do you mind running to get some ice? I’m not sure where you could find it on campus this late, but it should help dull the pain.”

Octavia turns her eyes to Raven before nodding, moving towards the door and disappearing around the corner.

Letting her eyes go back to Raven, Abby purses her lips as the other woman just grins at her. It’s cocky and knowing and the fact that she can even grin when it’s obvious she’s in pain only causes Abby to roll her eyes.

“So, bar fight… How did you manage that one?” Abby starts, opening the kit and grabbing some nearby paper towels, pulling out the bottle of hydrogen peroxide in the kit.

Sighing heavily, Raven shrugs. “Why are you carrying a clear container full of drugs?”

Abby raises an eyebrow, because she knows this game that Raven’s starting with her. She’s defensive, Abby knew that from the night she had met Raven. While now wasn’t exactly the best time for the game, Abby is also not one to back down from the challenge.

“Callie owes me after the night she put me through,” she responds easily, pouring some of the peroxide on the folded paper towel. “Why’d you get in a bar fight?”

“Some guys were harassing Octavia and wouldn’t back off.”

As Abby begins to slowly clean away the blood, she can’t stop the slight bit of relief that washes over her as it becomes clear that the gashes aren’t as big as she thought.

“Were you drinking?”

“No, I was the-” Raven pauses, hissing as Abby cleans closer to the gashes and bits of peroxide hit open wound. “I was the designated driver.”

Nodding, Abby pulls back, grabbing another paper towel to dab away residue. “Yes well, as admirable as it is standing up for your friend, you should be more careful.”

“You should see the other guy.”

She can’t help but grin, moving slightly closer as Raven parts her legs, allowing Abby better access to her face. “You do realize you broke your nose, right?”

Rolling her eyes, Raven nods, only to have Abby grab her chin to keep her still. “Yes, I do. But it isn’t that bad, right?”

“It’s a broken nose, how could it _not_ be bad?”

The pair chuckle, but Raven winces again and her hands reach out, gripping the closest thing to her. In this moment, it happens to be Abby’s waist. Abby can’t help but freeze at the touch, feeling fingers dig into her hips. She knows it’s just reactionary, but the touch causes a blush to rise in her chest and she can’t help but curse Callie for putting her in something that shows more cleavage than she’d prefer in front of a student. Then again, that seems to be all Callie has done recently, put her into awkward positions with Raven.

“Are you alright?” Abby asks after a second, trying to keep her voice steady and level as to not tip off Raven to her suddenly racing heart.

Nodding, Raven just flashes her usual cocky smile. “Yeah, just a little sore, I guess.”

Her hands loosen their grip, but don’t leave Abby’s waist entirely. It’s dangerous, what Raven is doing. If Octavia walked in on this, Abby knew it would be a compromising position, but if she were honest she didn’t want the hands to move away. They felt so warm and grounding and something Abby is too terrified to admit to finding comforting. For the moment, she decides to leave the hands where they are, justifying it as Raven probably needing something to support her.

Reaching back into the kit, she pulls out a thin, silver flashlight and takes a gentle hold of Raven’s chin once more, moving her head so they met one another’s eyes. She regrets it, even though it’s necessary for her to do this so she can try and make sure Raven doesn’t have a concussion. Her eyes are so dark and tempting and Abby isn’t entirely sure why Raven's eyes are so pleading, but they cause the professor's tongue to dart out and lick suddenly dry lips.

“I want you to look right into the light, okay?” Abby says softly, searching Raven’s eyes for response before pushing the button on the back of the light. She watches as Raven’s pupils shrink instantly, a wave of relief hitting her once more. Raven certainly wasn’t lying about drinking then. Still, there is uncertainty in whether or not Raven has a concussion/

Clicking the light off and setting it aside, Abby let go of Raven’s chin. “Any nausea, or headache?”

Raven shakes her head, “No. I mean, my head hurts a bit, but I think that’s more from me getting a broken nose than anything else.”

Smirking, Abby shakes her head and glances down, hand resting above the brace on Raven’s leg. “How’s your leg?”

Abby feels hands pull away from her waist and she knows she’s somehow touched a nerve, eyes going back to Raven. Cockiness is gone, a mask falling over her features, and Abby knows she’s definitely hit something within Raven.

“It’s fine,” Raven replied, jaw squaring as if daring Abby to ask further.

As soon as the warmth of Raven’s hands leave her hips, Abby misses it. She hates herself for missing it, but she does, though she doesn’t reach to put the hands back on her hips as she pulls her hand away from Raven’s thigh. Instead, she silently reaches into the kit, pulling out thread for the stitches Raven needs, along with the tweezers, setting them next to her.

“How’d it happen? Your leg, I mean.”

“Why’d you keep you ex-husband’s last name?”

The question game, yet again. Raven only gives if she gets, Abby knows that. She also knows she crossed a line with asking Raven about her leg to begin with, but she can’t help her curiosity, especially with the fact that the brace on Raven’s leg was made by her and not bought from some big company like where Callie currently worked. But, if it’ll comfort Raven, she’ll play this game.

She reaches into the kit and pulls out a pair of latex gloves, sliding them onto her hands as she begins, “Well, mostly to spite my mother, actually.” Her gaze shifts to Raven for a moment as she picks up the thread and tweezers. “Do you want anesthesia?”

Raven raises an eyebrow, “No. Continue, please.”

Shrugging, Abby moves closer, turning Raven’s face slightly so she can better access the first gash she needs to suture. “My mother and I, we didn’t really get along.” Pushing the sharp, metal point of the thread into Raven’s skin, she noted how the other woman winced, but didn’t object. “So, when I met Jake, it was easy to get away from her. Plus, she really wanted me to get married young. She was hopeful that, if I did, I wouldn’t continue medical school. That I would settle down, do the stay at home mom thing.”

“But you didn’t?”

“No talking, I don’t want to mess these up,” Abby quips, grinning as Raven rolls her eyes. “But no, I didn’t. Jake and I got married and he encouraged my passion. Plus, the stay at home thing wasn't for me. I preferred being out and investing into my field.”

“Sounds like a nice guy.”

Abby hums in response, pulling Raven’s face slightly closer as she continued to stitch. Her moves were cautious, mostly because she feared Raven would speak again. “He is, but things between us were tough. We were both busy with our careers, and we seemed to mostly just pass by one another every so often. We weren’t married as much as we lived together.”

Finishing the first gash, Abby ties off the suture, setting the first thread aside and reaching for another in the kit. “But then I got pregnant with Clarke, and we decided we should try and make things work, especially with our schedules. We wanted to be the best parents we could be.

“It didn’t work, however. We ended up fighting a lot after Clarke was born, blaming the other for stupid things.”

Abby turns Raven’s head again, just slightly, examining the gash on her chin once more. “So, we divorced. My mother was furious, because that’s not what people in my family did. They get married and put on a happy show, regardless of if their miserable or not.”

“She sounds like a piece of work,” Raven replied, hands reaching out once again and gripping Abby’s hips as the needle went into her skin.

She froze for a moment, the sharp tip not even fully in as she felt hands squeeze to encourage her. “Yeah, she was. But, regardless of the divorce, she expected me to go back to my maiden name. She ended up bugging me so much with it, I told her I was keeping Jake’s last name.”

“What was your maiden name?” Raven hissed, attempting to speak through the pain.

Abby narrows her eyes because this would be a lot easier if Raven would just not talk. “A story for another time,” she replies simply, finishing the stitches on Raven’s chin quickly, thankful for the fact that the gash was so small.

She pulls her hands away, smiling at her work as she looks it over once more before reaching into the kit for an anti-bacterial to dab over the fresh sutures.

“I was walking down this really bad street with my boyfriend,” Raven begins, “and I had told him we probably shouldn’t be there. He was an activist against gang violence, so he wasn’t very popular.”

Abby feels Raven’s fingers press harder into her hips, and she can tell from that alone that it isn’t exactly easy information for the other woman to divulge. In fact, she was shocked that Raven was sharing it to begin with after her walls had shot up to the question before. Still, she wouldn’t interrupt this, not when Raven was allowing herself to be more vulnerable than Abby had ever seen her.

She takes the small vile of somewhat translucent cream, taking a q-tip and dipping it into it, slowly beginning to dab the stitches across Raven’s cheek.

“Some car pulled up next to us, and I’m not entirely sure what was said, but Finn tried to push me out of the way,” her words are quiet, and Abby is thankful they’re the only two in the room as she notes the tears welling in Raven’s eyes.

“I didn’t actually even know I was shot until I woke up at the hospital. My friend Wick was there, and he told me everything. Some gang retaliation or something, and Finn was dead.”

Raven takes a deep breath in through her nostrils, trying to compose herself. “I had a bullet in my spine and two options: I could leave it and not be able to walk, or I could take it out and risk not surviving. I chose the latter.

“I woke up the day after the surgery and things had gone well, but the bullet had apparently tumbled and struck some nerves. So I can’t feel anything from my knee down.”

She’s putting on a brave face, Abby can tell, and she’s pretty sure it’s what Raven has always done. Raven was strong, and it was a trait Abby admired, but the tears were threatening to spill from the other woman’s eyes.

It was clear Raven did not want "I'm sorry", or pity; she probably had had plenty of that when it all happened. So instead, she just reaches into the kit for a red bag with large, black letters reading “BIOHAZARD” and putting the q-tips and residue thread into it. Then she reaches down and squeezes Raven’s thigh, right above the brace, Abby’s own form of apology and comfort.

“So,” Abby begins, gesturing to Raven’s nose with a wide grin, letting the sad memories fade, “I really need to reset your nose, and it’s going to hurt. Very bad. Are you sure you don’t want anesthesia?”

Clearing her throat, Raven straightens her spine, shaking her head. Whatever remnants of almost crying were in Raven’s eyes have vanished, as though nothing had happened. “No, I’m fine. Just give me a small warning, I doubt it’s that bad.”

Chuckling, Abby rolls her eyes, reaching forward and putting her thumbs on either side of Raven’s nose, where it’s gone jagged and crooked. “Are you sure?”

Raven shrugs, “It didn’t hurt that bad breaking it, this will be a no brainer.”

“Alright then,” Abby begins, moving closer as she lets her other fingers rest on Raven’s cheeks, holding her head in place. “Count back from three, okay?”

Raven nods, as much as she can with Abby’s hands holding her in place, taking a deep breath. “Three, tw-”

The crunching sound of cartilage and bone moving back into place echos in the quiet office, and Abby is pretty sure the pain doesn’t even register to Raven before the sound does. At least, that’s what she assumes from the shocked, wide eyed expression on Raven’s features.

Her hands are slapped away and Abby knows she shouldn’t be laughing, but she feels it bubbling inside of her chest as Raven puts her hands over her nose, gripping it tightly.

“What the fuck, Abby?!” Raven exclaims, eyes darting over Abby’s features. “You said count back from three!”

“Yes, and you did very well. What’s the problem?” Abby questions, a chuckle escaping her lips and she has to cover her lips to catch anymore from escaping.

“I just assumed that meant you’d fix it on one, not two and a half,” Raven babbles out, eyes going from shock to narrowing. “Give me the stupid anesthesia.”

Shaking her head, Abby reaches into the kit, pulling out a small vial and a syringe wrapped in plastic. “Are you sure?”

Raven nods quickly, taking one hand off Abby’s waist and holding out her arm. “Yes, please, it hurts so bad.”

Taking out a sanitary wipe and running is across the bend of Raven’s arm, Abby takes out the syringe and fills it with the liquid oxycodone. “Alright, patience. You won’t be feeling much of anything in a moment.”

“I hope that isn’t true.”

Abby pauses for a second, feeling the hand that’s still on her waist squeeze. She clears her throat, taking the syringe and finding Raven’s vein easily before pushing the needle in.

“Sorry, by the way,” Raven mumbles as Abby pushes the medicine into her body. “I kind of got blood on your dress.”

Pulling the needle out, Abby looks down to her waist, seeing the smearing of blood on the white dress. Grinning, she shakes her head, taking a cotton ball and holding it onto the small hole where she injected Raven. “Honestly? This isn’t my dress, and it’s good payback for Callie.”

“Oh?” Raven inquires.

Abby nods, gesturing to the kit next to her. “After the blind date she sent me out on, I figured the kit would only be the beginning of payback. Apparently, a ruined dress is even better.”

She doesn’t miss it, the way Raven’s face falls at her words. She doesn’t miss the way a bit of light leaves Raven’s eyes and the remaining hand on her waist slacks in its grip.

“ _Oh_.”

“It didn’t mean anything,” Abby responds quickly. Too quick, actually. “The date, I mean. Callie just figured I would want the fun of a date.”

It isn’t exactly a lie, but she’s sugar coating the fact that she had asked for the date after her dream about Raven’s head between her thighs. It isn’t as though she could tell Raven about the dream, and she’s hoping the drugs work fast enough on the other woman that she doesn’t pick up on Abby’s voice rising in the attempt to hide the facts.

Raven doesn’t seem to notice, but her eyes seem to gain some of the light again.

“Right,” Raven says softly, eyes floating downwards to where Abby still has her hands on her arm. “I guess that makes sense.”

Releasing Raven’s hand, Abby bites her bottom lip as she finally takes in her other features. Since she had arrived, her eyes have been trained on Raven’s injured face most of the time. But now, with most of Raven’s injuries addresses, she has the time to take in the way Raven’s hair falls around her shoulders and the, slightly bloodied but, nice shirt and tight skirt. It takes everything within Abby not to inhale deeply.

“I’m assuming you went out for some fun tonight as well.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Your hair,” Abby says softly, reaching into the kit for a nose splint as to not reach out and touch soft locks. “You never wear it down. The only time I’ve seen you wear it down was-”

“At the bar,” Raven finishes, a dorky smile coming over her lips.

The blush that fills her chest is heavy, she knows that, and she’s desperate to look anywhere but Raven. They don’t talk about the bar, they haven’t needed to. Not since the beginning of the semester when Raven came into Abby’s office after avoiding her class. It was best they didn’t, at least in Abby’s mind.

Abby looks over to the clock, sighing slightly. The drugs had kicked into Raven’s system quickly, that was certain; which meant she probably hadn’t eaten much that day. Plus, Octavia should have been back by now with the ice. Part of her thinks to ask Raven for her phone and to call her, but she doesn’t. It’s selfish, but she’s enjoying this time with Raven, even if it’s under terrible circumstances and the fact that she’s committed several crimes within the amount of time they’ve had together.

Raven chuckles again and she winces, grabbing at her ribs. Abby doesn’t miss it, not again, and she sighs heavily.

“Hold still so I can put this split on, then I need to look at your ribs.”

Raven groans, causing Abby to bite her lip as she holds back a smirk. She puts the split in place, grabbing some tape from the kit.

“You have gold flecks in your eyes, did you know that?”

Abby pauses, looking to meet Raven’s eyes. In that moment, sincere as they were, Abby knew it was the drugs talking more than Raven herself. Lowered inhibitions, which probably wasn’t good for them in this state. Part of her wishes Callie had put a different drug into the emergency kit, because at least then Raven would be more lucid and not as likely to say things she’d regret. If she remembers them at all.

“Thank you,” Abby all but whispers, taping down the split. She feels Raven’s hands tighten on her waist for a moment before letting go completely, resting on the desk instead.

Pulling back, Abby already misses the closeness, but she needs a second to gather her thoughts. “Okay, I need you to lift your shirt so I can look at your ribs. Let me pull a water bottle out of the mini fridge, it’ll be a compress until Octavia get back with the ice.”

Raven just nods, the wide grin still on her lips, as Abby turns her back to her and walks a few feet to open the mini fridge. She shouldn’t be letting her guard fall so low, but Abby always did around Raven. Even with oxy starting to work through her system, Raven was the charmer, and it was the last thing Abby needed.

Grabbing the water bottle and turning around, Abby nearly drops it onto the ground. Raven’s shirt was gone, and she sat there, completely unphased as Abby looked at her.

“I told you to lift it _up_ , not _off_ ,” Abby says, mostly in astonishment. She hasn’t seen so much flesh since their night together, and it’s taking everything in her not to reach out and touch it.

Until it dawns on her she actually _has_ to.

Raven shrugs, head resting on her shoulder. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

Abby curses not only herself, but Callie, as she moves back over to Raven and puts the water bottle next to her. She wants to look anywhere but Raven’s shirtless top half, because she has to be professional. And it’s hard to be professional with Raven’s breasts in a black bra just inches from her touch.

Inhaling deeply through her nose, Abby takes the gloves off of her hands and lets her eyes fall down, past Raven’s breast and to the dark, angry purple mark beneath her bra that extends most of her rib cage. She knows she can’t tell much of anything from looking at it alone, but it’s clear now why Raven hisses in pain when she tries to laugh at her own jokes.

Reaching out, Abby strokes a thumb over the skin, sighing softly. “I can’t tell much without an x-ray, but you’ve probably cracked them at the very least. What happened?”

Raven reaches out, taking Abby’s hand from her ribs. She doesn’t let go, to Abby’s surprise, and holds onto her hand. “Cheap shots,” she replies simply.

Abby’s eyes are on their hands, and it’s too much and professionalism has been thrown out the window by her allowing it to continue. Raven is drugged and she knows better than to allow this, but it feels so good Abby can’t help but let herself be sucked into it.

“I like you,” Raven blurts out, her fingers intertwining with Abby’s. “I mean, _really_ like you.”

Abby needs to stop this, immediately. But Raven’s fingers intertwined with her own have her mind going back to the bar and to the dream and to so many other places they shouldn’t be. So, she lets it happen, letting her eyes go to Raven’s. Raven may be high, but she’s certainly telling the truth. Abby knows it, not from her words, but from every single interaction they have had since their first meeting. The only good thing about this moment is that Raven has a high chance of not remembering a single thing about it, which is the only reason why Abby responds.

“I like you too, Raven.” It sounds childish as it slips from her lips, but it’s probably the only way she can put it into words. “A lot more than I should,” she adds with a sad chuckle, starting to pull her hand away from Raven’s. “And _that’s_ the issue.”

Raven’s face lights up, even with Abby pulling her hand away from hers. She reaches out, taking Abby’s hand into her own again, and it takes everything in the professor not to let their fingers intertwine again.

“You should go out with me,” Raven says with a grin, pulling Abby’s hand close to her chest.

Raising an eyebrow, Abby can’t help but laugh at the comment. She’d been on a date earlier that evening, and it obviously didn’t work out in her favor. The idea of a date with Raven, however? That sounded more pleasing to her than anything. Still, the facts remainded.

“I’m your professor, not going to happen.”

Raven shrugs, playing with the professor’s fingers, her eyes still locked with Abby’s. “After, then. After the semester, we can go dancing. Or, I’ll take you to a super fancy dinner where you can steal one of Callie’s dresses again.”

The smile on Abby’s lips is genuine, and she’s a mixture of thankful and sad that Raven won’t remember any of this.

“It’ll be fun,” Raven encourages, pulling Abby close to her. “I promise.”

Surrendering to the fact that Raven won’t recall, Abby nods. “Yeah, okay. After the semester, you can take me out.”

The smile on Raven’s face is so wide Abby fears for a moment that she’ll actually rip the stitches. But they don’t, and Raven just squeezes Abby’s hand tightly.

The knock on the door is what pulls Abby back to reality and has her pulling her arm away from Raven. Turning, she sees a smiling, albeit slightly guilty looking, Octavia, holding a small bag of ice in her hand.

“With the amount of time you took, I assumed you were bringing large bags,” Abby jokes, attempting to bat away the heaviness in the room.

“Yeah, I actually had a really hard time finding a place to get ice,” Octavia mutters, moving towards Raven. “I actually went to our room and took some ice from the ice tray in our mini fridge.”

Nodding, Abby walks around her desk, picking up the shirt Raven had tossed when she wasn’t looking. “Well, she has some oxycodone in her system. She broke her nose, had some stitches, and probably cracked her ribs. I’d keep her awake overnight, just in case she has a concussion. I tried testing for one, but I can't really diagnosis it, especially now.”

Octavia nods, taking the shirt from Abby, and the professor is relieved she isn’t asking why Raven doesn't have her shirt on to begin with. “Sounds easy enough,” she replies, pulling Raven’s arm over her shoulder once more.

“I also recommend taking her to see an actual doctor,” Abby says, eyes narrowing. “I haven't practiced in years, and even then I only did so for a little under two years." Her eyes grow serious then. “As much as I enjoy breaking the law, I don’t want to hear anything about it floating around campus. So, please, take her to a doctor.”

Octavia chuckles, adjusting Raven’s weight over her shoulder. “Will do, Professor.”

As Octavia leaves, Abby sighs in slight relief, looking back to her desk. Papers scattered all around it, picture frames next to one another on the floor, and a medical kit on top of her desk. She broke so many rules, and all for one person who she slept with, but also happened to be her student. Part of her thinks to call Callie and tell her about it, but she figures she’ll save it for when she has to return the blood stained dress. It would be best to have a small buffer, and it might prevent Callie from hitting her for ruining this dress.

Instead, she kneels, beginning to pick up remnants of her once pristine desk, and tries to forget that she made a promise she isn’t able to keep.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is later than i wanted to post, but i went to see a movie and had finals this week. BUT here is the update and i hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> also, just a note: i read each and every comment you guys give me, messages you all send, and your tags when you reblog it on tumblr. know that i read them all and they mean the world to me. you guys are the real mvps

Tapping her pencil against her notepad, Raven sighs heavily, eyes falling shut as the tapping becomes the only sound ringing in her ears. She shouldn’t be as stressed as she is for this final, she knows this stuff. Chemistry was basic math to her at this point. However with Thanksgiving break just passing and having not seen Abby since the night she stitched her up, she found herself lost in a way she hadn’t been in a long time.

It was silly really, how not seeing Abby for more than a week was able to throw her off so much. She had hoped to see Abby, even just a glimpse of her, when they were given their final exam. However, there was no sign of her, and it was Monty alone who handed out and collected the exam. Currently, Raven was blaming her missing Abby on a guilty conscious for going to her to even get fixed up. In the moment, it seemed to just make sense to call her and ask her for her help, as weird as it sounded. Even Octavia had given Raven a curious gaze when she had forced her phone into her friend’s hand and requested it, but it wasn’t like she had many other options. At least, that’s her excuse.

Hearing the door click shut, Raven turns her head quickly over her shoulder, only chuckling at the sight of Octavia. The dark, purple circles under her eyes were indicators of just how little she’d slept, and her usually nicely done hair was thrown haphazardly into a bun on top of her head. Honestly, Raven has never seen Octavia so exhausted and spent in her life. It’s currently the highlight of her week.

“Damn, Blake. Did you sleep at the library again?”

“Shut up,” Octavia snaps, letting her bag fall from her shoulders and thump onto the floor.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Raven mumbles, letting her pencil drop from her hand, turning to face Octavia completely.

Groaning, Octavia lets herself fall onto Raven’s bed, pulling a pillow over her head. “Lincoln’s ten year old futon is more comfortable than every chair in that place,” Raven hears, despite Octavia’s voice being slightly muffled by what the school has deemed a mattress.

Grinning, Raven reaches over from her seat, rubbing her friend’s back soothingly. “Hey, come on, how did the final itself go?”

“I don’t even know, I was half asleep during most of it.” Turning her head, Octavia pushes out her bottom lip, “I should have taken your advice.”

“On which piece of advice?”

“The one where you told me sleep is more valuable than studying.”

Laughing, Raven winces slightly before nodding. “True, but I don’t even follow that piece of advice.”

Octavia cracks a smile then, her eyes trailing down to Raven’s ribs before letting their eyes meet again. “How’re you feeling?”

Pulling her hand back, Raven lets out a long sigh. She knows Octavia is just being the caring friend she always if, but if she’s asked one more time about this, she might scream. The morning after the bar fight, Octavia had dragged Raven to a free clinic to get properly looked over. Not only was her nose broken, but she had cracked several of her ribs as well. Still, she had been told by the doctor she was lucky she hadn’t deviated her septum, especially when she told him how her nose looked.

Raven had gone back to the free clinic yesterday to get the stitches Abby had so neatly done for her removed, and the splint from her nose was gone as well. Now she just had a black crescent under her eyes and still bruised ribs, but as the doctor had said, she was lucky it hadn’t been worse.

“I’m fine, O. Just like I was fine last night when you asked.”

Shrugging as much as she could with her body flat on the bed, Octavia smiled. “I can’t help it, you’re just so fragile.”

Shaking her head, Raven stood from her chair before laying on her bed next to Octavia. “Says the girl I protected at the bar.”

“I don’t need protecting,” Octavia replies, sticking out her tongue before breaking into a soft laugh. “By the way, I never asked… What all do you remember? Professor Griffin said your memory would be foggy, but I’m curious.” Octavia’s eyes are a mixture of knowing and curious, and it makes Raven wonder what all Octavia was actually there for.

Raven remembered bits and pieces of that night, but most of it was a blur. She remembered the fight and giving Octavia her phone. She could recall how she gripped Abby’s waist, and even more how the professor never pulled away from the touch, and how she clung to those hips as she spoke of what happened to herself and Finn. But other than that, it was a mixture of images of Abby’s smile and a few words. Raven wants to remember, because part of her is so sure she and Abby had _something_ that night; but every time she tries she ends up grasping at straws. The doctor from the free clinic told her it was normal, especially with the mix of mild concussion and oxycodone in her system. He also told her that some of it will eventually come back, but most of it is probably lost. Still, she tries.

However, seeing the knowing and curious gaze in blue eyes, Raven feels her heart tighten because Octavia knows what she doesn’t.

“How much did you hear?” Raven questions, resting her head in her hand and gazing down to her friend.

“A lot,” Octavia teases, a wide grin on her lips. “I heard from her resetting your nose to until I finally walked in.”

Raven’s eyes go wide, searching Octavia’s for something, _anything_ , that lets her know what happened and what was said, but there’s nothing.

“Why didn’t you come in earlier? Or, better question, what the hell did I say to her?”

Octavia sighs, the smile fading slightly from her lips. “I was curious what would happen if I left you two alone, to be honest. I’m actually kind of shocked she didn’t notice how the ice I brought for you was half melted.”

“You eavesdropped and let my ice melt?”

“Besides the point,” Octavia remarks, rolling onto her back and resting on her elbows. “Look, I wanted to know if there was anything going on between you and Professor Griffin, especially after you told me the name you had her under in your phone.”

Raven feels the heat in her cheeks. She knows she should’ve changed the name, or just deleted the number entirely, but she couldn’t help but keep the name in the phone the same. In all honesty, she _still_ hasn’t changed it.

“Okay, that’s fair.” Licking her lips and sucking in her bottom lip, Raven continues, “What did you end up deciding?”

Furrowing her brows, Octavia scanned over Raven. As Raven watches blue eyes, she notes curiosity leaving and it being replace by something else. She isn’t sure, but it almost looks like pity.

“You don’t remember it, do you?”

Shaking her head, Raven sits up a bit straighter, trying once more to find the answer in Octavia’s facial features. She’s become so gifted in reading people, the fact that she can’t decipher anything in Octavia is killing her.

“Remember what? Octavia, what happened?”

Letting out a sad sigh, Octavia shakes her head as she reaches out, resting a caring hand on Raven’s shoulder. “It’s not my place to say.”

“The hell it isn’t, you eavesdropped!”

“Yeah, but I don’t think it’s fair for me to tell you everything that happened. That’s between you and the professor.”

“And apparently you,” Raven grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest.

The hell could have been so bad Octavia can’t tell me?

Squeezing gently, Octavia smiles slightly. “Yeah, well, you could always ask her. Since the semester is basically over, I don’t see _why_ you can’t just talk to her.”

Raven opens her mouth to respond, but shuts it immediately. She could go talk to Abby, and in fact, she probably should. Abby risked a lot doing what she did, Raven knows that, but that’s part of why she’s nervous to go see her. The semester is over, and Raven probably won’t see Abby again unless they run into one another on campus. It won’t be the same, and whatever this bizarre dance they had going on all semester was done. There is a sense of relief in that, because it’s what Raven wanted for the longest time. She wanted - no, _needed_ to find some relief from Abby. Now that she has it though, Raven is starting to wonder why she ever wanted to be away from Abby to begin with.

Turning her head to look at the clock, Raven bites her bottom lip. She has four hours before her last final, she may as well spend that time wisely.

“Do you think she’d still be in her office?” Raven questions, mostly to herself than anywhere else.

Octavia chuckles, “Only one way to find out.”

 

* * *

 

She’s hesitating, again. She hasn’t hesitated outside of this door since the first time she came to it, but here Raven stands. Before, she knew what was holding her back: fear, anxiety, uncertainty of what to expect. Now though, she’s had time to actually get to know Abby. She knows what makes her tick, what makes Abby smile and duck her head as she tries not to laugh, and Raven also knows that if she goes inside it’ll probably be her last chance to see Abby do all of those things. It’s silly, but as she holds up her hand to knock, her mind flashes back over everything. Well, everything except her being stitched up.

Licking her lips, Raven lets her hand fall and she straightens her spine. Even if this is the last time she sees Abby, she refuses to let herself crumble as she usually does in her presence. Instead, she’ll be strong, go right in, and then walk right out. It’s simple, at least in theory.

Grabbing the handle and turning the knob, Raven pushes the door open and walks straight into the office, paying little mind to her surroundings as she speaks, “Professor Griffin I just wanted to come in and say thank you for-”

She stops, eyes meeting with a small, blonde haired, blue eyed girl. Raven’s confused for a moment, and the raised eyebrow from the child is an exact image of Abby’s. Her mind scrambles as she tries to place the somewhat familiar kid, and her eyes go to Abby’s desk before it finally registers in her mind.

“You’re definitely not Professor Griffin,” Raven begins, gesturing to the kid in front of her.

“You’re definitely not my mom.”

Grinning, Raven nods. “You’re Clarke, aren’t you?”

Nodding, Clarke smiles as she twists slightly in the too-big-for-children desk chair at Abby’s desk. “Yep.” Tilting her head, blue eyes scan over Raven, “And who’re you?”

Raven opens her mouth to respond, but is cut short as a flash of golden brown hair passes by her in the corner of her eye.

“She’s my former student,” Abby interrupts, moving quickly to her daughter before eyes go to Raven. “Sorry, I usually don’t leave her alone in my office for this reason.”

Shrugging, Raven chuckles as she scratches the back of her neck. “It’s fine, I just got here.”

Abby nods before turning to Clarke, kneeling down. “Sweetie, I need to talk to Raven for a bit in private. Is that okay?”

Groaning, Clarke slumps in the chair, and Raven has to cover her lips to keep from giggling.

_Like mother like daughter._

“What am I going to do until you get done?”

Reaching into her desk, Abby pulls out what Raven assumes is a key, holding it out in front of Clarke. “Remember where Uncle Kane’s office is? Why don’t you sneak in there and steal from his candy stash for us; you remember where it is?”

Taking the key excitedly, Clarke nods quickly. “Of course! Aunt Callie always takes me in there when she babysits.”

The proud grin on Abby’s lips make Raven’s heart ache slightly, for reasons she hasn’t spoken of since her own mother passed.

“Exactly. Go hang out in there and I’ll be there in a bit, deal?”

“Deal,” Clarke says quickly, sliding out of the chair and running right out the door. “Nice to meet you!” she calls back over her shoulder as she vanishes around the corner and the pad of shoes on the floor fades.

Turning to face Abby, Raven smiles as she gestures towards the door Clarke all too excitedly ran out of. “Cute kid.”

Shaking her head, Abby smiles as she slips into the seat her daughter so quickly took off from. “Thank you,” she replies, gesturing towards Raven’s usual seat. “Why the visit, Raven?”

Biting her bottom lip, Raven moves towards the chair - her chair - and sits down. “I uhm… Well, you weren’t at the final and I-”

“Speaking of which,” Abby interrupts, opening her desk once more and shuffling through it.

Raven furrows her brows, confused for a moment, before she feels her heart plummet. This final, the ultimate determining factor in whether or not she has to retake this class. The proof of whether or not she actually did learn anything from the hours of tutoring with Abby, or if the development of these feelings for her professor actually were worth it. She feels her knuckles tighten as her grip subconsciously becomes hard, and god, it feels like their first discussion all over again.

As Abby pulls the packet from her desk, her eyebrow raises as she eyes Raven’s hands. “You know, I feel like we’ve discussed this.”

Glancing down at her hands, Raven pulls them off the chair and into her lap, a nervous laugh escaping her lips. “Yeah, sorry, it’s just… You know, this grade is a big deal.”

A soft smile comes over Abby’s lips, and Raven’s heart speeds at the sight of it. “Yes, well, this time it is a bit different,” she puts the test down so it’s facing Raven, pushing it towards her.

Taking a deep breath through her nose, Raven flexes her hands once more before reaching out and taking the test. She’s nervous and she can feel the butterflies in her stomach and she’s about to scream when she notes the grade isn’t on the front of the test because she _just wants to know how she did_. Flipping through the pages, Raven notes the red marks on the test, feeling the butterflies beat faster and her throat tighten before she finally reaches the back of the test.

Eyes going up, Raven looks to Abby in disbelief. “I got an A?”

Abby’s smiling, and she looks so proud, Raven decides that _this_ was more than worth it.

“You set the curve, actually,” Abby responds, hands folding on top of the desk. “I’ve actually never seen a student who was doing so poorly do such a drastic turn around.”

Nodding, Raven’s eyes go back to the grade, butterflies gone and just the pounding of her loud heart ringing in her ears. “Octavia is going to be so pissed I got a better grade than her.”

Abby hums in agreement, “Yes, well, she did get the second highest grade. I’m sure she can live with that.”

“No, you don’t know O, she’s too competitive for that.”

“Well, maybe I don’t know Octavia, but I do know you,” Abby begins. Raven can see the light rose color beginning to color her cheeks, but it’s more Abby’s words than anything that have Raven feeling her stomach flip, “and I know how hard you worked. You did more tutoring than needed, you studied in the library-”

“You saw me studying in the library?”

Chuckling, Abby nods. “We professors use it too, you know.”

Standing up from her desk, Abby rounds the desk and leans on the edge of it. It’s such a mirror to the beginning of the semester, but Raven’s heart is racing fifty times faster and she’s trying her hardest not to smile at how far she’s come - how far _they’ve_ come.

“The point is, you worked hard for this, and I’m very proud of you.”

Letting her eyes leave the test completely, Raven’s eyes meet Abby’s. It’s a phrase she’s not used to, someone being proud of her. It’s more a matter of Raven not letting people say it to her than anything, but hearing it from Abby? It makes her feel like she’s at peace with everything. That everything she’s risked by moving here, by staying in this class, but just being around this woman who has captivated so much of her attention: it’s all worth it. Just to see brown eyes light up and see a smile that’s so genuine she starts questioning why she ever thought this would be a bad idea to begin with.

Standing, Raven immediately wraps her arms around Abby, hugging her tightly. She feels the hesitation in Abby at first, obviously shocked at the reaction. If Raven was honest, she’s shocked at herself by this as well. She’s been trying to avoid touching Abby at every possible turn, because there was something about when their skin met that sent Raven into a spiral and left her cheeks hot. But this, feeling Abby’s arms wrap around her in response, it felt right. It was so wrong and she knew Abby was, and has been, breaking rules for her ever since they’ve been put into this weird predicament. Being in Abby’s arms though, it was a safety net she never knew could exist, not again.

Raven’s hugging her longer than appropriate, and she clears her throat, pulling back and she’s thankful for her darker complexion as heat rises in her cheeks. “I- uhm, well, thank you.”

“For what, your grade? You earned that on your own.”

Raven shakes her head because no, it’s so much more than that, but she can’t even find the words to say just how much everything this semester has meant to her. What Abby means to her. It has Raven wishing she knew what she had said to Abby that night after the bar fight.

“No, I-” She stops, letting out a breath as she tries to gather her words. “I need to ask you something, Professor Griffin.”

Raven isn’t entirely sure why, but she sees Abby tense at that. She knows Abby has always maintained these walls between her emotions and Raven herself, because she’s tried to do the same. But the tension is brief and it’s quickly masked over and _what the hell did she say that night_?

“Yes, of course. But please, the semester is over, just call me Abby.”

“Right, Abby.” The name has a sweet sound on her lips, and Raven can’t stop the grin that forms over her lips at the sound Abby's name slipping over her lips. “I guess I’ve just become so used to calling you the Dragon Lady behind your back, it’s weird.”

Abby is rolling her eyes but Raven sees her crack a smile anyway. “What’s the question, Raven?”

She wants to reach out again and grab Abby’s hips as she thinks of how to phrase the question. When she was being stitched up, it made sense. It was grounding and she really didn’t have anything else to hold onto at the time to keep her from digging her nails into her palm. But now, she only wants it because there is this bizarre comfort she found when she was touching Abby. She instead decides to ball her hands into fists, keeping herself from reaching out.

“Right, uhm… So, my head is a little foggy and I can’t remember what all happened when you- well, when you stitched me up.” Her wording is awkward but there isn’t really a better way to phrase “when you illegally administered oxy into my system and reset my broken nose because I got into a bar fight” when she’s trying to get answers that apparently only Abby can answer now. “I was hoping maybe you could fill me in on what all happened?”

Raven’s scanning Abby’s eyes, just as she had done with Octavia just an hour or two ago, and just like then, there’s nothing. There’s no answer, and Raven isn’t sure why she even thought she would find it lying beneath Abby’s eyes when Abby is the most guarded out of the two. She does see something though, and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her curiosity grow all the more.

_Disappointment._

Clearing her throat, Abby lets her eyes fall from Raven’s, “What all do you remember?”

Sighing slightly, Raven shrugs as she lists her general recall, “Walking into your office, Octavia going to get ice, you giving me stitches - which the free clinic doctor complimented, by the way - talking about your ex, and you fixing my nose. After that, it’s a blur.” Licking her lips, Raven chuckles slightly, “It really fucking hurt when you fixed my nose, though.”

Abby’s head is down, but Raven knows she’s smirking. “I told you it would hurt,” Abby remarks, shaking her head before lifting it to meet Raven’s eyes. “But, I guess I should’ve expected you to say no to the anesthesia. You’ve proved time and time again you’re that sort of person.”

“What kind of person is that?”

“The one who refuses to ask for help.”

Pursing her lips, Raven nods. With her track record, she really can’t deny it, but that was avoiding the question. “Regardless, did anything else happen?”

There it is again, the disappointment in Abby’s eyes. It isn’t the same as when Raven refused help when she first began tutoring, this is different. It’s sad and longing and it makes Raven all the more curious about what happened. Just as quickly as the sadness appeared though, it vanished, and was replaced with the usual Abby Griffin smile that Raven had grown accustom to; the smile that hid whatever tension hung in the room.

“Oh, nothing really. You were pretty out of it,” Abby replies nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. “I’m not shocked you don’t remember, you got hit in the head pretty hard.”

Nodding slowly, Raven’s heart falters. Whatever she said, it was clear that it was big enough that Octavia wasn't willing to tell her, nor would the only other person in the room that night. For now, she can only hope that her memory comes back to her, just as it has been, so slowly.

“Right, well… Then I guess I’ll get going,” Raven responds, pulling away and heading towards the door. “It’s been fun, Prof- I mean, _Abby_.”

Abby just smiles, nodding her head, but Raven can see the whites of her knuckles and she knows that the professor is holding something back, but there wasn’t any more time to find out what that was. “And please, Raven, feel free to visit anytime.”

Nodding, Raven turns back to the door and walks out, pulling it shut behind her as she let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding in. She was being silly, she knew that, by wondering and questioning the night of the fight. Though now, there was no real way to force someone to tell her what happened, and perhaps it was for the best. If both Octavia and Abby were refusing to tell her, maybe it was better Raven never remembered what was said.

Pulling out her phone as she walked towards the exit of the building, Raven rose an eyebrow at the five missed calls that flashed on the screen.

_Why the fuck is Anya calling me?_

Sliding her finger to the right to call Anya back, Raven pursed her lips, letting the phone ring.

_“Finally! About time you returned my calls.”_

“Hello to you too,” Raven quips, pushing the door to the outside open and shivering as the cold weather nipped at her. “Why the hell are you calling me so much? Did Bell touch the car again, because I swear to god, if he did I’ll-”

 _“Calm down,”_ Anya replies, a soft laugh echoing into Raven’s ear. _“You really think I’d let him touch that car? You’re out of your mind.”_

Raven hums in response, pulling her coat tighter around her. “Yeah, okay, that’s fair. But why are you calling me?”

_“I have a small favor to ask. Or, well, an opportunity for you.”_

“Really?”

_“Yeah. One of the places I work had someone call in sick and no one can cover for her and I figured you’d like the chance to earn some extra money, especially since the holidays are here.”_

“How kind,” Raven remarks, sarcasm thick on her tongue. “But, I could use it… Which job and what am I going to be stuck doing?”

_“Catering job, you’ll just be passing food out to fancy rich people at this weird gala.”_

Letting a breath out through her nose, Raven looked up to the sky. The clouds were heavy, and with the weather reporting a chance of snow, she found herself missing Texas. Granted, she probably wouldn’t be better off with winter weather there, but at least she’d know she was with family; or at least her definition of it.

She hasn’t been able to visit Wick, not since she’s come up here. With school weighing on her and the fact she hasn’t been able to find a job, Raven’s been surviving off loans and her scholarship. So, the idea of extra cash was nice, even if just for a plane ticket to visit her surrogate family.

_“We’ll pay you upfront even. Come on, I’ll owe you one.”_

Chuckling, Raven shook her head, “Alright, deal. But, that favor is already going to be called in. Keep Bellamy the hell away from that car.”

_“Like you even have to ask.”_

  


* * *

 

Abby _hates_ these things. She hates the eyes of old men watching her and coming up to discuss donations to charity while their arms are wrapped around trophy wives. She hates the political aspects of these events. She hates basically everything about these events, but what she’s really hating the most is _this damned dress_ Callie put her in and how everyone is staring at them.

“Did I really have to wear _this_?” Abby hisses, her and Callie’s arms looped together.

“Yes,” Callie whispers back, a wide smile on her face. “My date has to be the sexiest one here; and I must say, you’re killing it in that dress.”

Pursing her lips, Abby tugs a bit at the hem of the dress. “If I so much as sneeze I’ll flash everyone in this place.”

“Good, maybe it’ll help me get a few more investors for the company.”

Shooting a glare to her friend, Abby shook her head. “This isn’t funny, and you owe me. So big.”

“I feel like illegally giving you that e-kit was more than enough.”

“That covered the terrible date you sent me on.”

Callie gasped, turning to face Abby fully. “I thought ruining my dress was payback!”

“No, that was part of the payback. E-kit was second part.”

Scoffing, Callie shook her head, grabbing two flutes of champagne as one of the waiters walked past. “That dress was expensive.”

“And the date you sent me on was terrible,” Abby replied, taking one of the flutes before sipping it. “I still can’t believe he tried to order for me.”

“I can,” Callie chuckles, taking a sip of her own drink. “He’s a huge asshole.”

“Then _why_ did you set me up with him?”

“Because no amount of dating is going to help you get over your crush for your student.” Licking her lips, Callie looked up, raising an eyebrow. “Speaking of which…”

“No.”

“What? She’s your _former_ student now, isn’t she?”

Biting her bottom lip, Abby shook her head, the grip on her glass becoming tighter. Things were different now, seeing as Raven wasn’t her student, not anymore. The hanging issue of having control of her grade no longer hung above her as a reason to avoid her feelings towards the student, but that wasn’t the only issue at hand. If it were, she wouldn’t be holding back so much.

“I can still get fired for it,” Abby replies softly, eyes darting around to make sure no one is listening. “Can’t we just drink and pretend like we’re having fun like everyone else is? I don’t want to talk about this here.”

Letting out a low whistle, Callie shook her head. “Damn, you really have it bad.” Sighing, Callie licks her lips, eyes growing serious, “But fine, I’ll drop it. For now. But you know, I just want you to be happy, and you and I both know what’s been making you happy.”

That’s the thing about Callie, why she and Abby have been close for so long, she cares so much about her friend being happy. It’s gone far enough to where Callie has put Abby before herself, numerous times. But this time, Abby just doesn’t think it’ll work out the way her friend is clearly hoping it will.

The seriousness leaves as soon as it came, and she nods her head towards the tables. “They’re going to be doing a presentation soon on the charities we supposedly donated to, wanna grab us a seat?”

Sighing, Abby shakes her head, gesturing towards the back. “No, I want some air before I’m forced to sit for two hours next to someone who smells like denture cream and their hot wife texts the entire time.”

Smirking, Callie nodded. “Yeah, well be careful. Some of these guys are probably already wasted and I would rather you _not_ clock someone who could become an investor.”

“How kind of you to care for my well being,” Abby responds sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she leans in and presses a kiss to her friend’s cheek. “But deal, so long as you grab me something delicious from that catering buffet.”

“Fine,” Callie replies, turning and walking towards the buffet arrangement. “Don’t be too long!”

Chuckling, Abby shakes her head as she heads towards the back of the room and then down a dark hallway towards the back exit of the gala.

She can’t stand these sort of things, and part of her wants to throttle Callie with her clutch for even inviting her. Granted, Abby did agree to come with her, but still. This should be Kane with her, not Abby, and she thinks she should rather beat Kane than Callie with her clutch.

_Or make Clarke steal more of his candy._

The sudden feeling of a hand on her arm almost causes her to scream in the darkness, the only bits of light coming from old light bulbs and the luminous green EXIT sign. She turns, and her heart slows back to a regular pace, and she lets out a relieved laugh.

“ _Christ_ , Cage. What the hell?”

“Just saying hi,” Cage replies, and the heavy scent of alcohol hits her nose.

She’s known Cage Wallace for awhile, and he’s never been her favorite. He tormented her through most of their younger years, and it seems that, no matter how much she tried to avoid him, they always run into each other. Seeing as they both came from prominent families in the community, it was no wonder they were bound to run into each other frequently. It was also why her mother tried to pair her off with Cage.

“Yes, well, shouldn’t you be getting back to the party?” Abby replies, trying to pull her arm from the tightening grip.

“But we just ran into each other,” Cage responds, pulling Abby closer and she feels bile rise in her throat.

Cage was always handsy with her, as if it were some cruel twist added to the fact that he bullied her most of her life. Added in with the fact that he was clearly drunk only two hours into this cursed party she didn’t even want to be at, and Abby knew she was in trouble.

“Cage, let go,” Abby stressed, attempting to tug her arm out of his grip once more. The grip just tightens and _god_ where the hell was his wife? “You’re hurting me.”

“I just want to talk, Ab.”

Her jaw clenches and she is about three seconds from knocking his lights out.

“Dude, let her go.”

The voice comes seemingly out of nowhere, but then another shadow joins the pair in the darkness and the voice is so familiar and-

“Raven?”

The shadow is moving closer and she sees familiar eyes. Part of Abby is questioning what Raven is even doing here in the first place, but as her eyes trail over black slacks, white button up shirt, and a perfectly made black tie, things start to become clear.

“This isn’t any of your business,” Cage argues, and Abby winces as his nails dig into her skin. She’s certain a bruise will be there, but she can’t focus on the man before her because Raven is there and Abby still can’t fully understand what Raven is doing in the back hall to begin with.

“No, but if you don’t let her go, I’m going to make it my business.”

Abby’s eyes are flashing between Raven and Cage, but she clears her throat, suddenly finding her voice once more. “Raven, calm down. And Cage, _let go of my arm_.”

“I’ll give you until the count of three,” Raven warns, ignoring Abby’s request.

“What’re you going to do? I doubt you can even-”

Abby barely even has time to register as Raven’s fist balls and makes contact with Cage’s jaw, a loud crack echoing and Abby can’t help but wince at the noise and what it entails. But her arm is free, and Abby pulls it close to her chest, gently rubbing the newly red skin. Her eyes are wide and she looks to Raven who just squares her jaw and walks past Abby, heading out the door and cool air coming into the suddenly too heavy space.

Her eyes are on the door before looking to Cage, who’s holding his jaw as he curses profanities and mumbles some words Abby is pretty sure don’t even exist. She should stay, she knows that. She should make sure Cage is alright and get him to a hospital, but her eyes go back to the door Raven just walked about of and all she can find herself caring about is _her_.

Mumbling a half hearted apology, Abby moves quickly towards the door and out it, shivering as the icy air hit her exposed skin. She notes white flecks falling from the dark, cloud filled night sky, and she wishes she had her coat or even just her wrap with her because this dress was not made for snowy weather. Her eyes are moving fast, but then she sees Raven just a few yards from her, sitting on a bench.

“Raven,” Abby calls out, moving towards her, trying to ignore the cold air.

Raven looks up, and she looks so rattled, and Abby can’t place why.

“Raven, are you alright? Let me see your hand, I want to make sure it was his jaw and not your hand that broke.”

Raven bites her lip, her fist still clenched as she stands. “It’s fine, Abby. If they didn’t break after the fight, I doubt it would break after punching _that_ guy in the face.”

Abby chuckles, shaking her head, reaching out to take Raven’s clenched hand. “Probably not, but just let me make sure.”

She sees how Raven’s eyes go wide, and Abby is then certain that she has angry marks on her skin from Cage’s vice grip. “Don’t worry about it,” Abby remarks, taking Raven’s hand into her own, feeling how the tension in it relaxes. “He’s done worse.”

Raven’s jaw is so tight then, and Abby feels her heart flutter because god, why does Raven care so much? It’s tormenting her, how the person who cares about her enough to punch a guy in the jaw, has to be her student. Former student now, but it’s eating at her either way; just like the words _"I_ _mean, I really like you,"_ have echoed in her mind for the last week.

Looking over the knuckles, Abby sighs, running her fingers over them. “You shouldn’t have done that, you know.”

Raven shrugs, a cocky grin on her lips. “Yeah, well, it felt like the right thing to do. I protect the ones I care about.”

Abby’s breath catches in her throat, her eyes meeting Raven’s. The confidence and the simple knowing in those eyes, it makes her feel so warm, even if snow is falling overhead. It sends a shiver down her spine.

“Shit, are you cold?” Raven asks quickly, eyes worried and she takes her hand from Abby’s, moving them to her arms. “We should get you back inside,” she says softly, hands moving up and down to create friction and heat.

It dawns on Abby how close they are. They’re so close that she can feel the warmth from Raven’s body, causing her to shiver once again. She can see the now small scars from where Raven was hit in the fight, the ones Abby had so meticulously stitched back together. She sees the delicate lines in Raven’s lips and Abby can’t help but question why she keeps telling herself no to this thing that is feeling _so right_.

She isn’t able to stop herself at this point, the voice that usually screamed in the back of her mind and told her “no” was growing silent as another voice encouraged her. Reaching out, Abby ran her fingers across closed wounds, tracing them and Raven’s jawline, her breath quickening at the feel of soft skin beneath her fingertips. Her eyes met Raven’s once more, and they were just watching her, curious. The former student was making no attempt to stop her, but hands that were used to heat her up are slowing their pace.

Her heart was pounding so loud in her ears, and blood was rushing so quickly it made her light headed as she let her thumb trace of Raven’s lower lip.

“Abby-”

“Kiss me.”

She sees it, the shock in Raven’s eyes. It’s deja vu of their first night together and she knows Raven recalls that. Abby knows this is wrong, so wrong, but she can’t bring herself to care anymore. She’s denied herself of so many things in her life, she can’t bring herself to deny whatever this thing is between her and Raven anymore.

“Kiss me,” she repeats, hands cupping Raven’s face, brushing her lips against the other woman’s and letting their noses bump together.

For a moment, she worries Raven will say no, that she’ll pull away and whatever has been building between them these last few months will fade away.

Instead, Abby feels Raven’s lips on her own, and she finds she can’t stop the smile forming on her lips at the taste of familiarity.

 

* * *

 

Raven isn’t entirely sure _how_ they got to Abby’s place. It’s mostly a blur, from the kiss to her now having Abby pinned against the door of her bedroom. She recalled bits of the cab ride, and how she cracked a joke at Abby for the oversized home. She remembered how she nearly stopped when she recalled Clarke and Abby whispered how she was with Jake. Otherwise, a blur, which Raven could easily blame on the skilled lips claiming her own.

A night of catering was supposed to be calm and quiet, at least that’s what Anya had promised her. But then she had seen Abby and Callie and she swore to herself she would avoid the pair at all costs. It was why she hid in the back hall. But it seemed that destiny - or whatever it was - had other plans. Not that she was complaining.

Raven gripped Abby’s firm thigh, pulling the leg around her waist as she used the other hand to pin Abby’s wrists above her head, causing her to whimper against Raven’s lips. She gasped, feeling Abby sink her teeth into her bottom lip, and _god_ has she missed the feeling of the other woman’s need for dominance, even if it had only been experienced for one night.

Pushing up the material at the hem of the dress, she kissed down Abby’s neck, savoring the feel of a heavy pulse beneath her lips and tongue. Her grip loosened, just a bit, only for Abby to take advantage and free her hands. One curls into Raven’s hair (she isn’t entirely sure when she lost her hair tie) while the other tugs hard on the tie around her neck, pulling their lips back together.

The minimal material bunches around Abby’s waist and Raven snakes her hand between them, running her fingers along the soaked piece of fabric that kept her from what she wanted most. She hears a pleased gasp escape Abby’s lips and hit her tongue, causing Raven so shiver as she repeats the motion.

“A little making out,” Raven breathes, breaking the kiss for a moment, “and you’re already _soaked_.”

The way Abby just chuckles and rests her head back against the door, it sends a rush of heat to Raven's core.

“I have a thing for women wearing ties,” she replies, tugging on the tie around Raven’s neck to emphasize her point.

“Yeah?” Raven whispers, moving her lips up Abby’s jawline and nipping the skin there.

Abby hums in response, hips grinding forward against the minimal touch of Raven’s fingers. “Yes, but I like them way more when they’re tying wrists to my headboard.”

Raven has to bite her lip to keep the moan from passing her lips at Abby’s words and instead meets her lips again, the kiss growing more desperate and teeth nipping at lips.

Raven grips her other thigh, pulling Abby’s weight completely onto her. She can feel Abby’s wetness and heat rubbing against the white shirt Anya had loaned her, but she can’t bring herself care. Abby’s lips move from Raven’s and are moving down her neck, biting hard into the skin there. It causes Raven to cry out as she moves them from the door, attempting to navigate from it to the bed at the center of the room. Usually, such a task wouldn’t be so hard but, _fuck_ , the way Abby is biting and licking and sucking her neck is causing her head to spin at the thought of having to cover these marks that Abby is leaving.

She only knows she reaches the bed when the back of her knees hit the mattress and she falls onto it, hands moving up Abby’s firm thighs. She ducks her head, catching Abby’s lips once more, savoring the way they just seemed to glide together so perfectly. Her fingers slide up Abby’s back, tugging gently on the zipper that the top of the dress. The pads of her fingers follow the path of the zipper as it slides down, and Raven knows she’s taking her time and that it’s driving Abby mad by the way her hips grind down into her.

“So impatient,” Raven says against her lips, nipping at Abby’s bottom lip gently.

“You can go slow later,” Abby whines, fingers untucking the white shirt from Raven’s pants and unbuttoning it from the top down. “It’s been _months_.”

The words hold more power than Abby seems to realize, causing Raven’s hand to move quicker with the zipper. Abby had felt it, just as long as she has been. She’s been struggling, just as much as Raven has with the tension and need for them to be on one another again. That fact, it made Raven want Abby all the more, because it meant it wasn’t, nor had it ever been, a one night thing for either of them.

With the zipper down, Raven pushes the dress over Abby’s head and her lips wrap around the peak of her right nipple, teeth scraping across the tender flesh. Abby’s fingers are in her hair again, holding her in place, a loud moan echoing in the quiet space of the bedroom.

“Fuck,” Abby gasps, hips grinding down into Raven once more.

Her fingers untangle from Raven’s hair and rips the rest of the white shirt open, exposing the skin toned bra that hid Raven's breasts. Raven hears more than sees the buttons pop off the shirt, causing her to chuckle and raise an eyebrow.

“You know, this _wasn’t_ mine.”

“Don’t care,” Abby whispers, pushing Raven back further on the bed and tugging the belt that kept once neat slacks in place. “You’re wearing way too many clothes.”

Raven nods, pushing Abby’s hands away as she tries to reach down to her brace, “I need to-”

“Let me.”

Opening her mouth, Raven is about to say no. No one has ever helped her with her brace, there’s been no need for it. But Abby’s eyes are gentle and sweet so Raven can only nod, watching as Abby scoots down on the bed, undoing the straps. It’s intimate, far more intimate than Raven has ever been with anyone, including Finn. She feels vulnerable but Abby’s hands are quick and knowledgeable as she undoes the last few straps, slipping it off and putting it next to the bed.

She’s tempted to say something in the heaviness of the intimacy of the act, but instead she just lets her eyes watch as Abby grins and she moves back up Raven’s legs. At first, she thinks she’s going to meet Abby’s lips again, but instead Abby stops halfway and her lips are on Raven’s stomach, nipping and biting her navel. Her head falls back and her fingers tangle in Abby’s hair tugging the hair gently in a quiet plea.

Abby moves up her body and their lips met again, and Raven isn't entirely sure who moaned when their skin met. She hasn’t had this since Abby, but she’s thought about it. She’s thought about what it would be like to have Abby’s skin sliding against her own again and now that she’s experiencing it, it’s so much more than she could’ve ever recalled it to be.

Flipping them so she’s on top, Raven moves her lips down Abby’s jaw and neck, savoring the feel of the other woman’s nails digging into her back and gripping her shoulder blades before unclasping her bra, flinging it somewhere across the room. As her lips traced over Abby’s collarbone, Raven grinned, feeling Abby shudder before biting down. It’s meant as payback, for all the hickeys from their first time and for all the new ones she’s sure Abby’s left on her; but it backfires as Abby’s back arches into her and the sweetest sounding gasp escapes her.

This time her lips go back to Abby’s, she’s tugging her panties down, desperate to get them off, desperate to have all of her exposed and feel every bit of their skin touching. Abby lifts her hips, letting Raven tug them free before pulling off her own and letting her body rest against the other woman’s. It’s too much and yet it’s everything she wants, everything she needs.

The kiss is softer, more tender, and so intimate that it’s the flip of their first time together. Their first time had been needy and a way to get off, just having fun. But this, it’s so much more. It’s intimate and passionate and it’s something Raven hadn’t known she’d wanted until now.

Abby breaks the kiss and takes a hold of Raven’s hand, pushing it between them and moving it downward.

“Touch me,” she whispers, nose brushing against Raven’s. “God, _please_ , just touch me.”

Her fingers are brushing against Abby’s slit again, and Raven swears she can look at the sight of eyes falling closed and lips parting in sudden need for air for the rest of her life. She puts some of her weight on her free arm, but the need to have her skin touching Abby’s keeps her from moving down and burying her tongue into familiar wetness.

She slides a finger into Abby, watching as she bites down hard on her lip to keep from moaning out. Sliding in a second, she moves them slowly, leaning down and pressing tender and sweet kisses along Abby’s neck and jawline, nipping at the spot beneath her ear. Abby’s hips are so desperate and moving so quickly against her fingers, Raven can’t help but grin against her skin. She’s so distracted by the movement of Abby’s hips and the sounds she’s making, Raven is shocked she she feels fingers against her own slit, crying out.

Her fingers still and she hears Abby chuckle, causing her to lift her head from the other woman’s neck.

“And you thought I was wet,” Abby breathes, leaning forward and capturing Raven’s lips for a brief kiss. “If you stop, I stop.”

It’s a challenge more than a warning, one Raven accepts without a second thought as she slides a third finger into Abby, moving them quickly inside of her, her pace picking up right where she left off.

She tries to keep her lips attached to Abby’s, but within a matter of moments they’re both panting, fingers moving inside of each other in matching, quick pace. They kiss between heaving breathing and gasps, but then Abby is pressing her finger against Raven’s clit and she can’t stop the cry that leaves her throat, coming against the digits buried inside of her.

Abby isn’t far behind, her eyes squeezing shut and breathing becoming more sporadic. Their bodies are sliding against each other, hot and slick with a thin layer of sweat. All it takes is a carefully planned bite to Abby’s pulse point and a swipe of her thumb and she’s crumbling in her arms, Raven’s name echoing off her lips in soft repeat, like a quiet prayer or mantra.

They’re quiet then, fingers slowing before easing out and wiping against the sheets. There’s so much to be said because they’ve broken so many rules and committed a taboo they both ignored when this initiated. But now, in the silence, it felt like the weight of what they’ve just done is beginning to weigh. At least, it is for Raven.

But then Abby flips her on her back and is kissing down her neck, her chest, her stomach, and Raven is biting her bottom lip to keep from cursing at the sight of dilated pupils. She should say something, because they need to talk about this, but Abby’s lips are moving past her stomach and sliding along her inner thighs and instead she’s starting to forget her own name.

The feel of lips against her thigh, sucking and nipping at the soft flesh of her inner thigh, it’s almost as great as the sight of Abby doing it. Leaning up on her elbows, Raven feels her heart pound as Abby nears the apex of her thighs, still hardly down from her first orgasm.

“Abby, we should-” Raven is cut off, the feeling of Abby’s tongue licking up her slit causing her entire train of thought to short circuit.

“Later,” Abby breathes against Raven’s center, causing her to shiver. “For now, I’m just getting started with I want to do to you.”

With a mischievous glint in her eye, Raven throws caution to the wind. Yes, they need to talk, but that can happen in the morning. For now, she’ll enjoy the view of Abby’s head between her thighs and that thing she’s doing with her tongue.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all, thank you for being so patient! i hope this update makes up for me having this a week late. thank you all for your support and love, it truly means the world to me!!!!

When Raven wakes, she’s unsure of where exactly she is. The sheets and mattress are too soft, there’s actual sunlight streaming through the windows, and she’s pretty sure the scent of fresh coffee is floating into the room. As she shifts in the bed, she feels an ache between her thighs; not unpleasant, but she hasn’t felt it in awhile. It’s then that her memory slowly comes back into her fogged, sleepy mind, and she can’t stop the smile that slips onto her lips.

The gala, the punch, the _kiss_ , it’s coming back to Raven, quickly, as she shifts a bit more against the warm and fresh sheets beneath her. Her eyes slowly open then, turning over to face away from the bright sunlight that’s coming in through large windows. Immediately though, her heart drops a bit from the high.

_She’s gone, yet again._

Raven knows she shouldn’t be entirely shocked, Abby seems like the kind of person who would wake up earlier than her, but that isn’t what’s bugging her. It’s more like it’s like when she woke up without Abby before, but instead of relief from not having to deal with a one night stand in the morning, she actually feels a small pang in her chest.

The tear at her heart is mended as soon as her ears pick up on the sound of footsteps and the slight creak of the door as it’s pushed open.

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” Abby says with a soft smile, holding up the two cups of coffee in her hand. “I figured you’d need some prompting.”

Raven chuckles, sitting up and bringing her knees to her chest. “I’d never say no to coffee.”

She shivers as the cool air of the home hits her skin, bringing her knees in closer. She’s about to tease Abby for the chill of the home, but when she notes the oversized white sweater and black leggings, Raven bites her tongue. If this is what Abby wears around a cold home, she’s certainly not going to complain.

Raven takes the warm cup of coffee gratefully, sipping and raising an eyebrow. “How’d you know?”

“Hm?” Abby questions, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Raven

“How’d you know how I take my coffee?”

“Oh.” Taking a sip of her coffee, Abby lets her eyes fall from Raven and to her own cup of coffee, “You always stole coffee when you thought I wasn’t looking, and seeing as most people your age don’t drink coffee black, it was pretty easy to remember.” A soft pink tint fills her cheeks at that, and Raven has to bite her lip to keep from grinning stupidly at the admittance. Abby had been observing her quirks, just as Raven had been, all these weeks.

Nodding, Raven moves closer to Abby, pressing the side of her legs to the other woman’s back. “Well, I’m definitely not complaining. Saves me the effort of faking that I like something.”

Chuckling, Abby shakes her head, taking a sip of her coffee. They’re quiet for a moment, taking tentative sips of their coffee, simply enjoying whatever bizarre domesticity this is. It’s so simple, but so fragile at the same time. They’re quiet as to not break it, Raven knows this. Last night, they had been able to avoid discussions of this with heated kisses and grasping hands, but that isn’t an option now. The night has passed and now they have to discuss what’s happened.

After a moment, Abby sets her coffee onto the nightstand, and Raven just knows that this quiet moment is broken. Not that she won’t try and maintain it a bit more.

As soon as Abby opens her lips to speak, Raven leans forward, pressing her lips against Abby’s. Immediately Abby gives in, lips parting and the fingers from one of her hands curling into Raven’s hair. As their lips glide, Raven takes one hand from her cup, thumb tracing against Abby’s jaw. One last moment of bliss, that’s all she asks, before this comes tumbling down and reality smacks them in the face.

Abby is the one who pulls back, a gentle sigh escaping her lips as she lets her fingers loosen from Raven’s hair, “Raven, we need to talk.”

“Or,” Raven offered, “we could just make out.”

The smile on Abby’s face causes Raven to grin, because she can read that expression so easily.

_She’s actually considering it._

Pulling back completely and letting her hands rest in her lap, Abby shakes her head. “Nice try, but I don’t think so.”

Letting a breath escape her lips, Raven shrugged. “Can’t blame me for trying.”

“I’m pretty sure I tried the same thing last night.”

“Succeeded, but only because your head was between my legs.” A mischievous glint is in her eye as she waggles her eyebrows, “Should I try that?”

“Mm, you had that fun last night.”

Raven can’t stop the soft laugh that leaves her lips, because this isn’t _bad_. This isn’t months ago in Abby’s office with heavy risks and serious looks; it was just her and Abby and talking and maybe it won't be so bad.

“But,” Abby continues, moving her arm next to Raven’s legs and leaning on it, “we do need to talk. About… _This_.”

Raven bites her bottom lip, nodding as she grips her cup a bit tighter. Thing is, she has no idea what this is; what Abby and her were, are, or becoming. Whatever it is, it’s complicated, Raven knew that much in terms of defining it. But Abby made her happy, in this weird sort of way. Raven felt the need to risk so many things for this woman just to be near her, her sanity included. Slowly, she is beginning to accept that the idea of losing her sanity for Abby isn’t so bad. In fact, it’s made her happier than she’s been in a long time. Putting all of this into words, that was harder to do.

“Well, it’s complicated,” Raven offers, a light smile on her lips.

Abby hums in agreement, licking her lips. “That’s the tip of the iceberg though, isn’t it?” Sighing, she bites her bottom lip, as if trying to form words or think of how to say them in the first place.

Instead, Raven speaks up, setting her coffee cup next to Abby’s, “Yeah, it is. But I like being around you. And I sort of punched a guy in the face for you.”

Laughing, the other woman nods, “You broke his jaw, actually. Callie texted to lecture me and, while I haven’t responded, she did mention that.”

“He deserved it,” Raven responds without hesitation, reaching out and running her thumb over the sweater where she’s certain a few finger shaped bruises remain. “Regardless, I like being around you, that’s my point.”

“And I like being around you, but you know that isn’t why we need to talk.”

The sigh that escapes Raven’s lips is heavy and slightly annoyed, not at Abby, but because she knows exactly what they have to talk about.

“I’m your professor-”

“ _Former_ professor.”

“Regardless,” Abby quips, “it’s still against the rules, former or not. You could be risking your scholarship, Raven.”

“So we don’t tell anyone. I mean, we kept it pretty quiet that we slept together before the semester started, right?”

“Yes, but that was one night. This is different.” Abby’s eyes change, more questioning suddenly, “Or, I’m assuming it is.”

Reaching out, Raven takes Abby’s free hand, enjoying how there was no fear of her pulling away and their fingers intertwining instead, as if on instinct. “It is different,” Raven reassures, squeezing her hand gently.

Nodding, Abby lets her eyes lock onto their fingers, “Okay, so it might be harder to hide.” Releasing a laugh, Abby shakes her head, looking back up to Raven, “Hell, I don’t even know _what_ we’d be hiding.”

Chewing on her bottom lip, Raven shakes her head, “I don’t either.”

Whatever they are, it’s unknown and fragile and so complicated Raven isn’t sure if there is a title for what their relationship has become. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but with them both risking so much in it, it isn’t exactly terrible to want to understand what they were both getting themselves into.

“Well, I’m going to give you two options,” Abby begins, and Raven can’t stop the chuckle. Everything is becoming such a parallel to their first weeks, she can’t help but laugh at the irony in it.

“We can stop whatever this is. I’m not your professor anymore, we probably won’t see one another on campus, so there wouldn’t be any awkwardness or temptation. It would be like none of this had ever happened.” Raven can see it in Abby’s eyes, the appeal. The option is simple and easy and _exactly_ what Raven had intended to follow when the semester had ended anyway.

Abby continued, “Or, we can… Explore these emotions and relationship. We’d have to have rules and we couldn’t tell anyone but it isn’t exactly impossible.”

Raven bites her bottom lip because once again she is put in control of their relationship. It isn’t bad, she enjoys being in control of situations like this, but it does add another pressure. Deciding between what she wants and what is safe, it’s usually a very easy decision for her, but this is different. Usually it’s only her on the line, making choices that only impact her herself, like when she decided to move in the first place. This is different though, Abby’s job and reputation are on the line in this, and Raven isn’t entirely sure they should risk it on that alone.

But her eyes are scanning Abby’s face, dark eyes that try to hide things but are incapable of lying, and Raven realizes that if Abby cared about that, she wouldn’t have asked for that kiss. She would’ve probably kicked Raven out of her home as soon as they were done, wouldn’t have given her _fucking coffee_ to help wake her before they began this talk. Abby cares about her job, but she also cares for Raven, and the professor wouldn’t be giving her these two options unless she’s already chosen the riskier of the two.

She’s about to open her mouth to say something, but instead Abby speaks up.

“You don’t have to decide now, I actually think it’s best you think it over,” she says with a simple shrug, a considerate smile on her lips and Raven wonders if she took too long to reply. “We can talk about it after break.”

Raven shakes her head, squeezing the hand with fingers still intertwined. “I already know what I want.”

Abby nods, eyes falling to their hands again. “I know, which is _why_ I want you to think about it.”

Pursing her lips, Raven can’t help but roll her eyes. “Fine, I’ll wait until I get back then from vacation.”

Raising an eyebrow, Abby tilts her head in curiosity, “Where’re you going?”

“Back home for Christmas. The catering job paid for my ticket.”

“You got paid? You left not even halfway through the party.”

“I think I have you to blame for that.”

A blush rises in Abby’s cheeks and Raven can’t help but grin.

“Okay, that’s fair.” Her eyes scan over Raven, tongue darting out to lick her lips. “When do you leave?”

“Tonight. I got the cheapest flight I could with the holiday so close.”

Abby hums in acknowledgement, pulling her hand away from Raven’s slowly as she sits back up and stands. “Well then,” she begins turning and walking to a door across the room, “I’m going to take a shower and start the day then.” She turns her head, winking at Raven, “If you’d like to join.”

Raven almost chokes on her coffee, eyebrow raising, “I thought I wasn’t allowed to make a decision until I came back?”

“You aren’t,” Abby replies, shrugging her shoulders. “But since you haven’t left yet, I figure this doesn’t count as making one.”

As she watches Abby move into the bathroom, Raven can’t help but let her jaw drop. In all the ways Raven has imagined her death, this is certainly not one of them. By the hands of an older woman who seems to grip her heart and pull her closer without meaning to, and then causing her to question all logic and reason she had ever learned.

The sound of cascading water fills her ears, and Raven reaches over to her brace, praising whatever deity there might be for her changing to a waterproof material for her brace when she moved to this town. As she clips it on and moves out of the bed and to the bathroom, she questions if this is such a good idea. She shouldn’t cloud her judgement, since Abby is telling her to think hard about what’ll be happening between them.

But then she’s in the shower and her mouth goes dry at the sight of Abby smirking at her with warm water pouring against her. Raven pulls Abby’s lips to her own and she decides that if she’s going to make this decision, she may as well get one more reminder of what being with Abby involves.

 

* * *

 

Abby knew this was going to happen, ever since she left the gala with Raven. In reality, she deserves it, but she doesn’t think she needs the sprouting migraine that accompanies these “I’m angry and you will listen to what I have to say” lectures from Callie. She also didn’t think the lecture would come so quickly after the event, which meant Callie had probably gotten hit on at the gala. That means she lost several investors, whether it be from Callie’s sharp tongue or from the rejection itself. The former is the most likely.

Her mind was swimming at a hundred miles an hour, attempting to process everything that’s happened. It’s been two days since the gala, Raven was gone, and, a condition made by Abby herself, they cut off communication with one another. It isn’t permanent, but this way she doesn’t find herself influencing Raven’s decision anymore than she probably did with the impromptu shower sex after she had just said they shouldn’t rush into this. For that, she’s tried making excuses, but in the end the answer is blatant: she just wanted to touch Raven again. She just wanted to _be touched_ by Raven.

She finds her eyes closing at the memory and her heart is pounding in her ears at the reminder of Raven’s fingers tracing across her stomach and-

“Abby are you even listening to me?”

Eyes flying open, Abby looks up to Callie. Honestly, she stopped paying attention a minute into Callie’s rant about being seated next to Cage’s father and began repeating herself. But Callie has a dark glint in her eye and Abby is slowly starting to realize just how much she screwed up abandoning her friend at what was basically an excuse to get drunk.

“That’s what I thought,” Callie sighs, pulling out the chair opposite of Abby and sitting down.

Abby takes the moment to be thankful she arranged for them to just meet at her place rather than going out for lunch, because this could be so much worse than it already is.

“I’m sorry, you started repeating yourself and you know that’s when I blank out.”

Callie hums in response, resting her head in her hand. “I know, but thank you for at least looking like you partially cared for most of it.”

Chuckling, Abby reaches out, squeezing Callie’s free hand. “You know I care. It isn’t like I planned to just leave you there, but at least you sat next to Cage’s father and not Cage himself.”

“That’s true,” Callie replied, rolling her eyes. “I told you how he broke his jaw, right? He said he fell, but it looked way more like he got punched.”

She should feel guilty, she knows that, but can’t find it in herself to be it, “He’s had it coming for a long time.”

“Also true,” Callie chuckles, shaking her head and letting her eyes meeting Abby’s. “But what happened to you last night? Not text, not call, I thought you got snatched while getting some air.”

For once, Abby has preplanned her strategy on how to deal with Callie and nudging her around what happened to her after she left the party. In honesty, she doubts it’ll work, but she knows Callie is still riled from her rant that if she says the right words, she just might save herself.

Heavy on the might.

“Oh nothing. What ended up happening with Cage? Did he end up at the hospital?”

Scoffing, Callie nods, pulling away and leaning back into her head. “Oh god, Abby, you missed one hell of a show with that. Dante was making all sorts of excuses, and Cage was trying to talk which, hilarious. But seriously, the entire gala was spent with Dante worrying and asking me questions I’m certain only you could answer and-”

Callie stops mid sentence, eyes narrowing towards Abby. For a moment, she thinks she has something on her face and her hand immediately goes to it, a questioning eyebrow raised towards her friend.

“What?”

Lifting her hand slowly, Callie points to somewhere on Abby, a place Abby isn’t entirely sure.

“Is… Is that a _hickey_?”

Abby’s eyes go wide and she’s blushing furiously because it’s been two days since Raven has been gone, there isn’t any way-

_Wait_.

Standing, Abby moves over to the mirror in the hallway just outside of the kitchen. There in the mirror she sees it, the dark purple mark against her collarbone that she’s avoided looking at, let alone think about, since Raven left. A mark she thought was hidden by her sweater.

_Apparently not._

Gathering herself, Abby thinks, or tries to, of a way she can just play this off. Yes, she knew about the hickey, but she had been so certain she had hidden it. However, with her luck, of course Callie saw it. At least if it had been Kane or Jake, she could play it off or they wouldn’t even bother to ask. No though, it just had to be _Callie_.

Sucking in a breath through her nose, Abby turned on her heels and walked back into the kitchen where Callie continued to sit. Immediately, she was greeted with the sight of an overly cocky grin and Callie’s eyes raking up and down her.

“So,” Callie began, Abby sliding back into her seat, “where did you get that?” she questions, pointing once again to the hickey Abby has now covered with her sweater. “From that sexy little student of yours? I mean, no judgement, but this is definitely something I never saw coming from you. At least, not adult, post child Abby.”

That much was true. Ever since she’s met Raven, she’s been reckless. Early on, it was in a good way and healthy, but now that she was breaking rules that could get her fired, it definitely wasn’t. Ever since she had Clarke, she’s stopped her recklessness, focusing every bit of herself on her daughter. Clarke grounded her, leveled her head, and it was a good thing in that regard. Yes, she had plenty of teasing from Callie about becoming the boring mom friend, but that was an easy price to pay.

Now though, Raven was in the picture, and when Abby was with her, she felt younger, lighter even. Being a little reckless wasn’t bad, it was part of her that she had tried to extinguish when she had her daughter. However, now that part of her was reawakened, and it was hard to reel it in.

“Abby?”

Snapped back from reality, Abby cleared her throat, deciding to think quickly on her feet. “Clarke bit me.”

Abby herself was ashamed at her choice of excuse, and from Callie’s questioning eyebrow, she can assume her friend also isn’t very impressed.

“She’s nine, not three.”

“I ran into a wall?”

“And it sucked on your favorite spot?”

A blush is filling her cheeks because Callie is so goddamn _knowing_ with everything, and she apparently has the sexual memory of equivalent to an elephant’s normal memory.

“Can I say yes and we drop this?”

“Abby, come on,” Callie persuades, nudging Abby under the table with her foot. “I’m your best friend, what’re you trying to hide?”

“Nothing.” It’s not a complete lie, considering she has no idea what she and Raven are at the moment. “Drop it, Cece.”

Rolling her eyes, Callie holds up her hands, “Fine, don’t tell me. The hickey on your neck says enough that you don’t need to.”

“It’s not a hickey.”

“Yes it is.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Abby lets out a heavy sigh, pressing the fingers of her right hand against her temple. “Okay, fine, it’s a hickey. But that’s all you get to know.”

“I just don’t get it,” Callie replies, shrugging her shoulders. “You were fine last time this happened, what makes this so different?”

Licking her lips, Abby lets her eyes fall from Callie’s, unable to hold her gaze without feeling some bit of guilt for locking out her friend.

“Because,” Abby says softly, “this time it actually meant _something_.”

 

* * *

 

Raven pulls the coat tighter around her, shivering as another gust of wind blows past her.

“You know, you’d be warmer if you had worn the thicker coat like I told you.”

“I’d probably also feel warmer if I hit you, so maybe it’s best I don’t take any advice.”

Laughing, Wick shakes his head, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “I missed you, too.”

A smile tugs at her lips and Raven can’t help but roll her eyes. It’s nice, being back to see her friend. She’s missed him so much, and having someone that isn’t doe eyed towards a lover to keep her grounded.

Wick was the kind of guy she knew she could count on for anything, whether it be advice on a situation or just a good drinking buddy. His parents had taken Raven in when her mother had passed, and the pair had become almost siblings since then. He was the annoying older brother she had always imagined having after she and her mother moved away from Bellamy and Octavia when she was little.

“So,” Raven begins, leaning into him, “where exactly are you taking me?”

“My shop.”

“ _Your_  shop?" Pulling back slightly, Raven rose an eyebrow. "Pops finally signed it over to you?”

Nodding, the proud and bright smile spread across Wick’s face. “Yeah, a Christmas present. Pops wanted to retire, so he handed the shop over to me since his favorite left,” he adds, winking at Raven.

Chuckling, she shook her head, “Yeah, well I’m sure you’ll do okay. I mean, not as good as me, but surely you won’t burn the place down.”

Pushing against her shoulder, Wick rolls his eyes as they approach the shop, pulling the keys out of his pocket. “Ha ha, very funny. You’re just jealous I get the most prestigious car shop in the south.”

“I think you mean most prestigious shop within a five mile radius,” Raven mumbles, shivering once more as Wick opens the door for her.

“I heard that.”

Smirking, Raven moves inside the building, squirting as bright lights fill the shop. Everything looks almost exactly like it was when she left. The slightly rusted metal workbenches, tools scattered everywhere but somehow easy to find, and even the oil stain from when she cut open an oil line by mistake. Everything was just familiar, soothingly so.

“What do you think?” Wick asks after a moment.

“I think it looks exactly the same.”

Laughing, Wick shakes his head, gesturing to the tarp in the back corner. “No, I meant of  _that_.”

Squinting her eyes, Raven tries to make out whatever is under the tarp, but is unable to even as she moves closer. “What is it?”

“Your Christmas present.”

Raising an eyebrow, Raven moves closer before gripping the tarp, pulling it off in a quick motion. Her eyes go wide before she turns her head to Wick, “Wick, no.”

“Wick yes.”

Her eyes go back to the object in front of her, reaching out and touching the cool metals and broken grips. A motorcycle, something she and Wick have always joked about buying and fixing up together. However, seeing it in front of her eyes, it filled her with such an intense warmth she isn’t sure exactly how to express it without becoming a five year old and jumping up and down. Which, she’s very tempted to do.

“Where the hell did you get one?” Raven questions, moving quickly around the bike. It’s beaten up and has certainly seen better days, that’s for sure. Still, there’s no way Wick would be able to afford this unless he splurged.

“Junkyard. They were going to crush this beauty.”

“From the looks of it, it’s exactly where this thing belongs.”

“Nah, it just needs some TLC. Who better to give it some than you?”

Raven gives Wick a pointed look, “Your idea of a Christmas present is putting me to work?”

“No,” Wick replies flatly, picking up a wrench. “You’ve always wanted one, but you don’t want it handed to you. Plus, you’ll get bored just hanging out with my parents and I for all of break so… I figured this could keep you busy.”

Raven nods because it isn’t exactly a lie. She loves Wick and his parents, but she is also a person who needs her space and likes having some alone time.

Wick continues, “The shop is closed for the holiday week anyway, so it isn’t a big deal. You can just come here, work on your bike-”

“ _My_ bike?”

Wick raises an eyebrow, nodding, “Yeah. Did you honestly think I would make you work on a motorcycle and taunt you with it?”

Chuckling, Raven shrugs. “It wouldn’t be the first time you teased me with such beautiful machinery.”

“True.” Holding out the wrench, Wick grins, “But this is yours. I figure you could use it to begin helping you forget about the hot professor.”

“Yeah, about that,” Raven begins, reaching out and taking the wrench, “I could use advice. You know, advice from someone who isn’t a love struck puppy who throws confetti in the air.”

Furrowing his brows, Wick is obviously confused for a moment before he looks at Raven again. “I’m assuming the puppy is Bellamy?”

“Yep.” Laughing, Raven shrugs off her coat and pulls the sweater Kyle’s mom has knitted for her over her head, laying it neatly on the bench with the least amount of clutter and dirt. “Confetti would be Octavia.”

Nodding, Kyle shrugs off his own coat and pulls up a stool. “Makes sense, she’s always really excited about you when I talk to her.” He pauses, a serious look coming over his eyes, “But I also feel like she could snap me like a twig.”

“She probably could,” Raven assures, kneeling and beginning to look the motorcycle over.

For a brief moment, she treasures this, because it is like old times. Her working on something while Wick sits and listens, completely content to just hear her out with his focus entirely on her. It was comforting, and was a nice reminder how much he cared.

“Alright, so what’s up with hot professor?”

She knows she shouldn’t be talking about this, but seeing as Wick is in Texas and is the best secret keeper she knows, Raven decides maybe it won’t hurt too much just to tell him. Besides, speaking aloud and saying what’s on her mind helps her process it a lot better than just thinking about it.

“Well, remember how I told you I was working at a gala for fancy rich people to get money to come visit?”

Wick nods.

“Abby was there.”

Letting out a low whistle, Kyle shakes his head. “Damn, first name basis? That means something happened.”

“We slept together.”

Raising an eyebrow, Kyle shakes his head again. “Okay, so… I’m confused about what you want from me considering you did _exactly_ what I’ve been telling you to do.”

Laughing, Raven begins to take a few bolts off from the motorcycle, holding out her free hand for a bowl. “Yeah, well I skipped over the good details. I punched a guy in the face.”

“Sounds like you.”

“He was being a dick, he had it coming.” As a bowl is placed in her hand, Raven turns her eyes towards Wick, “Anyway, point is, we talked a bit about… Whatever the hell we are.”

“Which is?”

“No idea.” Placing the bolts into the bowl, Raven holds out her hand once more, “Screwdriver, please.”

Handing her the screwdriver, Kyle raises an eyebrows as he shifts to get comfortable once again. “Alright, so you two talked about what you were, you still don’t know what you are, so now what? Are you just done or?”

“That’s the issue,” Raven replies, sighing heavily. “She did the two choice thing again, which is super annoying and really nice at the same time.”

“You don’t like being told what to do, Reyes, I think the two choice option is the best thing for you.” Licking his lips, Kyle continued, “So, what were the choices?”

“We continue whatever this is or we stop seeing each other entirely.”

His eyebrow goes high, “Wow… That is quite the ultimatum.”

“Yeah, but it makes sense. We don’t exactly behave well around one another and honestly, I don’t think I could be around her unless I know I could act on my emotions.”

“Can you even act on them though?” Wick questions, leaning forward. “I’m not trying to be harsh, but she’s still a professor at your school, so it’s not like you can hold hands and make out at the local bar.”

“I know that,” Raven responds, stopping her motions and pulling her hands from the bike. “I know we can’t but the idea of not seeing her at all? That sucks more than just having to have a little self control.”

Rubbing the scruff around his jaw, Kyle nods. “Then why are you even asking me about this?”

“Because I want advice.”

“No, you was justification.”

She opens her mouth to reply but the words die in her throat. If there was one thing she hated, it was being wrong. The only thing she hated more than that was Wick being completely right. Raven had made her choice that morning she was with Abby, and now all she wanted was someone to tell her that it was okay to want that.

“Do you love her?”

Raven can’t stop the laughter at that, “Wick, we hardly know one another.” She pauses then, biting her bottom lip, “I do like her though. I mean, I _really_ like her.”

“Then what other reason do you need to just go for it?” Shrugging, Kyle reaches behind him and grabs another screwdriver, moving to the ground besides Raven. “Move over, you’re going to break something.”

“Says the guy who dropped an engine.”

“Says the woman who broke an oil line.”

Grinning, Raven nudges Kyle gently as they begin to work next to one another in silence.

Yeah, just like old time.

 

* * *

 

The annual New Year’s Eve party was a tradition with Abby’s family, ever since she was young. However, after her mother shamed her for divorcing Jake, the tradition shifted from the usual prim and proper with martinis to children running with poppers and noise makers around the oversized home. Instead of family Abby questioned her actual relation to, it was just friends and enough alcohol to kill a small herd of elephants. This is what she needed, a party to distract her from the upcoming semester.

The stress was was already beginning to get to her, as it usually did right before a semester started. Students were already emailing her with questions regarding the books and her already posted syllabus; and with only a week left of preparation, she could only read so many repetitive emails before she deeply considered throwing her laptop out of the window.

“Abby!”

Turning her head, Abby can’t stop the grin on her lips as her, rather intoxicated, friend moves towards her, handing her a small glass of what she can only assume is vodka.

“Having fun?” Abby questions, chuckling as Callie leans against her.

“Of course, best party yet,” Cece replies. “Indra keeps kicking my ass at cards though, I think she’s cheating.”

“No, you just have no poker face,” Indra quips as she walks past them, flashing a quick smile to Abby as she digs through the cooler. “By the way, have you seen Lexa?”

Shaking her head, Abby does a quick glance around the crowded living room before looking to Indra again. “Nope, but she’s probably with Clarke and Wells. You know how they are, they’re probably getting into trouble.”

Indra hums in response. “Well, if you see her, tell Lexa we’re leaving right after midnight.”

Abby nods, “Where’s your other kid?”

“Anya?” Rolling her eyes, Indra shakes her head. “Probably out with her boy toy,” Indra dismisses as she walks off, presumably back to where some of the guests are playing poker.

“Callie, how much have you drank?” Abby questions, turning her attention back to her friend

“Not enough,” Callie mumbles, moving off Abby to look her in the eye. “Do you know where Kane is? It’s almost midnight.”

“Probably with Jake,” Abby responds simply. “At least that’s who he usually hangs out with at these things.”

The sound of the doorbell chime hits Abby’s ears, and she immediately furrows her brows. It’s too late for anyone else to be showing up, and she’s actually fairly certain everyone she invited was already here. Still, she won’t be rude, it might even be Anya.

“Are you going to be able to find your husband while I go see who’s at the door?”

Groaning, Callie nods, “Yeah. He shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

“He’ll be the brooding one.”

Laughing, Callie swats at Abby’s shoulder. “Be nice,” she says simply, walking off towards the kitchen.

Chuckling, Abby shakes her head as she makes her way through the crowd of people. In her mind, she’s going over who could be at her home when most people were here. It could be Anya, but most likely not if Indra was right. Part of Abby is even questioning if she wants to open the door after Callie made her do a _Criminal Minds_ marathon with her.

Taking a deep breath through her nose, Abby makes a mental note in get a peep hole installed in her door before opening it. Immediately her eyes go wide in shock.

“Hey,” Raven chuckles out, waving her hand once.

Turning to make sure no one was paying attention, Abby slipped outside and shut the door behind her, shivering as the cold air hit her skin. It was far too cold for her to be outside in only her dress and heels.

She doesn’t have a chance to ask Raven anything before Raven is pulling her lips to meet hers and Abby is melting into them. She hasn’t seen Raven in a little over two weeks and she finds herself sinking into the kiss without question. Her lips are soft and warm and it just makes Abby forget the party inside her home.

Breaking the kiss, Abby chuckles, a light blush filling her cheeks. “What’re you doing here, Raven? I thought you were visiting family.”

“I cut my trip a little short,” Raven replies with a shrug, hands sliding into the back pockets of her jeans. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“At nearly midnight? When my house is full of people?”

“Yeah, I’ve never had great timing.”

“No, you haven’t.” Smirking, Abby wraps her arms around herself, “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Us.”

Immediately, Abby takes a deep breath through her nose. “I thought we agreed we’d talk when the semester started back up.”

“We did, but I’m kind of sick of waiting,” Raven replies simply, taking a step closer into Abby’s space. “We’ve waited, what, four months? I know what I want, Abby, you’ve known that for awhile.”

Abby rose an eyebrow, and Raven just grinned at that.

“I remember. Well, for the most part, not specifically.”

For a second, Abby is confused. Then, it dawns on her, and she feels her stomach flip because she knew it was _possible_ Raven would remember their shared words in her office after Raven came in bruised and battered. Though, when Raven hadn’t recalled the next time they saw one another, Abby assumed she would never remember.

“I remember you saying how you felt for me,” Raven starts, reaching out and taking Abby’s hand into her own, “after I told you how I felt. Which, by the way, sorry for being topless in front of you, but you did drug me.”

Abby laughs at that, shrugging as she looks down to their hands. “Well, you kind of commanded me to.”

Raven hums in response, running the pad of her thumb over Abby’s knuckles. “I also remember you promised me a date.”

Biting her bottom lip, Abby nods, “I did… But Raven, where would we even go? We can’t be out in public here, you know that. There’s so much at risk and I don’t want you to just-”

Raven’s lips are on hers again and honestly, if this is how she’s going to be silenced from now on, she’s perfectly okay with that.

“I know what’s at risk,” Raven says softly against her lips, resting their foreheads together. “But I don’t care. We’ll do what we have to, and I don’t need those public displays.”

Abby licks her lips and lets her eyes meet Raven’s and god, they’re so genuine. Raven wants this just as much as she does. But that’s what scares her.

“I kind of want to see what this is, don’t you?”

Smiling, Abby nods, intertwining the fingers of their connected hands. “Alright.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The smile on Raven’s lips is bright and wide and Abby can’t help but match it. From behind her, Abby can hear the countdown to midnight begin and she can’t help but sigh.

“I should get back inside, I need to find Clarke.”

Raven bites her lip and nods. “Yeah, I get that. We can talk tomorrow?”

Nodding, Abby leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Raven’s lips once more. “Tomorrow. Don’t be hungover.”

Raven rolls her eyes as she pulls away, shaking her head. “Hilarious, Abby.”

As Raven descends the few steps, Abby hears the final ten seconds begin to be counted down to the new year. Raven looks over her shoulder and winks before throwing her leg over the back of a motorcycle and starting it up. A part of Abby is about to shout for Raven to be careful, but she bites it back as muffled cheering of the new year officially arriving.

Abby stands there for a moment, touching her lips, still tingling from the kisses. It's then she remembers words her father had told her when she was younger, that how you started your new year was a sign of how the year would be for you. As Raven vanishes from view down the road, Abby finds herself hoping that isn’t true, because she isn’t sure she can handle that sight again.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy the chapter, everyone!

Raven is pretty sure she hasn’t stopped smiling all week. In fact, that was recorded as true when Octavia told her in the morning when Raven was getting ready. However, she thinks that had way more to do with the fact that she let her hair stay down and not up in its usual ponytail.

Of how she imagined things with Abby would be, this was better. Since she wasn’t able to get back into the dorms for a couple of days, she’d spent most of her time with Abby. According to Abby, Clarke was with Jake after New Year’s for the last week before school started back up, mostly because of Jake’s work schedule getting hectic afterwards. She had Abby all to herself then, and maybe it was them getting rid of all the built up tension, but she’s pretty sure her hands didn’t leave Abby’s skin much at all. Well, until Abby would kick her out at the end of the day. While she’s sure she would’ve been offended before, she understood Abby’s reason: Callie.

Within the one week of this - well, whatever relationships this is - Callie has almost caught them three times. Once had been when they were fooling around in the kitchen, which ended with Abby pushing Raven out the backdoor. The second time had been while they were watching (or pretending to watch) a movie and Callie dropped by for a visit, which also ended with Raven being pushed out the backdoor. The third time had been while they were in the shower, which was also the time Raven learned Callie had zero boundaries and a house key.

Regardless of all of that, a week with Abby had been nice, blissful even, even though they never really left Abby’s to fulfill the promised date. However, now classes were back, and days full of nothing but Abby’s hands tangled in her hair were gone. Still, Raven was hopeful to see at least a little bit of Abby during the week. Granted Abby did tell Raven she’d be busy with classes most of the day, but she sneaked a small peek at the professor’s schedule and knew exactly when she and herself had overlapping free time. Hence why Raven was outside of her office with a small bag of food.

Raven hasn’t dated since Finn, at least not seriously. After what happened, she decided to sever that part of herself that wanted anything like that. There had been a few lunch dates here and there, but nothing serious. Most ended with a simple “thanks but I think we’re better as friends” sort of thing. Plus, even when she had dated Finn, it had basically been the leap from being best friends to being a couple. There was no honeymoon phase, just a slight change in their relationship title and kisses being added to movie days. So this was entirely new. Throw in the fact that they were tiptoeing around everyone, and Raven was at complete loss with how to do this _thing_ with Abby. But lunch was harmless, right?

She pauses for a moment outside of Abby’s door, attempting to listen to see if anyone was inside. The halls were rather busy, with the beginning of a new semester upon them, and students were running to their professors and advisors with notices of leaving and asking if they actually needed certain classes they were in. Deciding none of the noises were coming from Abby’s office, she raises her hand, knocking on the door, waiting patiently.

“Come in,” she hears, just barely over the sound of what she’s pretty sure is a student crying just down the hall.

Pushing the door open, she immediately feels a flutter in her chest. After a little over a week, plus having three days of not seeing Abby, part of Raven was sure she’d get over the flipping she felt in her stomach when she saw the professor. However, with glasses on the bridge of her nose and her eyes so focused on whatever was on her desk, Raven decides there’s no better sight than Abby with her glasses, looking over whatever new task she had. As soon as Abby looks up however, her eyes go wide, and Raven feels for a moment she’s made a huge mistake.

“Shut the door,” Abby says quickly, removing the glasses from her eyes as Raven follows her orders. “And lock it.”

Raven’s eyes go wide at that and she feels a blush in her cheeks, but does as Abby tells her. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she turns to see Abby, who had walked around her desk and was leaning her backside against the front of it. Her eyebrow is raised in question and her arms are over her chest and, yes, Raven is pretty sure she did something bad.

“What’re you doing here?” Abby questions, shifting slightly.

Raising her arm with the bag of food, Raven smiles sheepishly. “Your schedule says you’re free for lunch, and I figured you’d be hungry.”

Abby relaxes a bit at that, and Raven moves a bit closer to her, only to have the professor raise a hand to stop her.

“I thought we talked about this.”

Raising a confused eyebrow, Raven looks to the bag then to Abby. “We talked about food?”

Sighing softly, Abby shakes her head. “No, about… Keeping this quiet.”

A wide grin comes over Raven’s lips then, and she can’t stop the laugh that releases from her throat. “Abby, I just came with lunch. It’s not a big deal.”

“How many students do you know that bring lunch to their former professors?” Abby questions, arms crossing a bit tighter. “It’s sweet, but-”

“Abby,” Raven starts, moving closer and closing a bit more space between them as she sets the bag of food down on Abby’s desk, “it’s not a big deal.”

Releasing a breath through her nose, Abby’s arms loosen a bit as Raven comes closer. Raven isn’t entirely sure, but part of her thinks that being close to Abby somehow calms both of them. Right now, she’s thankful, because it’s calming whatever reservations have suddenly popped up for Abby.

“Okay, it isn’t a big deal,” Abby relents, pursing her lips. “But what if someone had seen? God, what if Kane had seen? He’s been on this detective show binge and is investigating everything and all it would take is-”

“Abby,” Raven interrupts, reaching out and resting her hands on Abby’s waist. “ _Breathe_.”

Ever since Raven began remembering bits from the night in Abby’s office, she’s found herself reaching for Abby’s waist as often as she can. Something about gripping her there calmed and grounded Raven in such a peculiar way, she couldn’t entirely explain it. Plus, she was sure it grounded Abby just as much.

“No one saw, and even if they did, they’re too distracted by the beginning of the semester to even remember it for more than a second.” Her thumb is tracing over the material of Abby’s skirt, eyes watching as Abby relaxes just a bit more, “It’s just lunch.”

Biting her bottom lip, Abby nods as she lets her arms uncross, putting them behind her on the desk. “Just lunch?”

Raven hums in response, nodding her head as she lifts Abby onto the desk, savoring the soft squeak the emits from the other woman’s throat. “I won’t lie, I’ve definitely thought of things I’d do to you on this desk.”

Raising an eyebrow, Abby grins in response as she wraps her arms around Raven’s neck. Whatever bizarre wall Abby had constructed moments ago seemed to be gone now, much to Raven’s relief.

“Really?” Abby questions, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Raven’s ear.

Raven nod, leaning forward and resting their foreheads against one another, her nose brushing against Abby’s. “Many times.”

Chuckling, Abby licks her lips. “As much as I’d love to hear about those thoughts,” Abby says as her lips brush against Raven’s, “I actually am really hungry.”

Sighing in faux frustration, Raven is about to pull back until Abby’s hands are on the back of her neck, pulling her in and pressing a soft, albeit chaste, kiss against her lips.

“Thank you,” Abby says quietly against them before releasing Raven and sliding off the desk.

“For what?” Raven asks after a moment, still slightly dizzy from the simple kiss.

Shrugging, Abby moves back around her desk, sitting back into her seat. “Lunch.”

Raven’s certain there’s more to it than that. There’s more to the thank you, the kiss, the intimacy they dangerously played with for a few moments; but Raven bites her tongue at the question. Questioning it ruins it, she’s learned that much from her time with Abby. So she just nods in response, opening the bag and pulling out a sandwich for Abby and one for herself.

“Since you said I can’t cook-”

“You can’t if it involves an oven or stovetop.”

“Hey, I didn’t catch anything on fire.”

“My curtains say otherwise.”

“Regardless,” Raven continues, shaking her head as she digs into her bag, pulling out the water bottles she had taken from her dorm, “I figured I could make you a simple sandwich.”

Abby grins at that, leaning back into her chair as she unwraps the neatly packaged food. “Possibly,” Abby teases. “We’ll just have to see.”

Grinning, Raven licks her lips and takes her usual seat across from Abby. For a second, they can feel like an actual couple without all the restrictions.

 

* * *

 

“You seem cheery.”

Turning her head over her shoulder, Raven raises an eyebrow. “I guess,” she replies, turning her head back to her homework.

“Any particular reason?” Octavia questions, and Raven can feel her right behind her, leaning over her shoulder to see what she’s working on.

In all honesty, Raven knew this would happen. Octavia is probably the smartest friend she has, which is nice when it comes to school work and giving Bellamy a hard time over anything not related to history. However, it’s bad when she’s trying to keep a secret that is written all over her face.

The entire previous semester had been spent with her having stressed faces and serious eyes, with the occasional break when Octavia dragged her to Bellamy’s bar or when she was working on the car. So, it was different from the norm.

She wants to be honest with Octavia, wants to tell her about Abby and the change in their relationship. She wants to tell Octavia how happy she is now and how a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. But she can’t, and it’s killing her a bit not being able to tell her best friend how happy she is now.

“No reason,” Raven replies with a shrug, attempting to refocus her attention on the homework before her. “Easier semester this time around, I think.”

“Right,” Octavia sounds unconvinced to Raven’s ears, which is understandable. It’s probably the worst excuse she’s ever given to someone. “Well, where have you been hanging out lately?”

Furrowing her brows, Raven turns around in her chair once again, nearly hitting her friend in the process. “What’re you talking about? I’ve been here.”

“Since classes started, yes,” Octavia begins, sitting on the edge of Raven’s bed. “But what about before? You came back earlier from Texas than expected, and Bell said you were staying at the studio at night, but where were you during the day?”

Raising an eyebrow, Raven leans back into her chair. “Seriously? What is this, an interrogation?”

Smiling innocently, Octavia shrugs her shoulders, “Should it be?”

Grinning, Raven rolls her eyes as she lets out a sigh. “I love you Octavia, but I don’t know what you’re looking for. I just don’t particularly enjoy the sounds of you and Lincoln going at it like bunnies as my lullaby.”

“I am not _that_ loud.”

“No, but Lincoln is.”

Laughing, Octavia shakes her head. “Come on Raven, what’re you hiding? I haven’t seen you this happy since-”

Raven sees it, the wheels turning behind Octavia’s eyes. Her heart is pounding because she knows _exactly_ where Octavia’s mind is going it.

“Since we were kids, I know,” Raven attempts, hoping to cover her tracks. “That’s what you get for not visiting me after I moved.”

“I was nine.”

“Excuses,” Raven waves off, turning her back to Octavia to refocus on her homework. “Don’t you have anything to read or work on? I figured, with your class schedule, you’d already have stuff due.”

“I already finished.”

Raven can almost _feel_ Octavia’s eye on her back, studying her. It’s making it nearly impossible to refocus her attention back to her homework and she is about to say something, about to try and get Octavia to look anywhere but her direction, but her friend beats her to it.

“Are you sleeping with someone?”

There isn’t any shock from the question, if Raven’s honest, but she still freezes and grips her pencil tight enough that she hears it crack slightly under her grip. Lying isn’t her thing, especially to Octavia. So, she decides not to.

“Yes,” she says softly, eyes trained on numbers that are blurring and mixing together in her failing attempts to focus anywhere else.

“I knew it!”

At that, Raven relaxes a bit, chuckling to herself. Perhaps the accomplishment in getting part of the truth out will be enough to sate Octavia for the time being.

“With who?”

_Or perhaps not._

Sighing softly, Raven lets her head drop to the homework that is apparently not going to be completed tonight.

“I just want to do my homework, O,” Raven grumbles, eyes shut as her forehead relaxes against the cool notebook paper. “Can’t you play detective later?”

“It’s easier when the one I’m interrogating is stressing and distracted.”

“Then go interrogate Bell.”

“Too easy,” Octavia replies. “Plus, you’re the one who’s hiding something.”

Pursing her lips, Raven lifts her head, turning to look Octavia in the eye once more. “Fine, I’ll make you a deal. You get to name one person you think I’m sleeping with after every problem I finish. Sound fair?”

“Is it Professor Griffin?”

_That was fast._

She wants to lie to Octavia. She wants to tell Octavia she’s crazy and out of her mind and Abby is their former professor and it’s against the rules. It all catches in her throat though, because she knows Octavia is only asking because she cares, so much that it makes Raven’s heart ache. Raven can’t lie to her when she knows she’s just being the usual, caring Octavia. Plus, if Octavia figured it out later (and Raven knows she will), she’d be angry at the fact Raven felt the need to even lie to her in the first place.

She’s about to respond when Octavia shakes her head, laughing.

“I’m kidding, Raven. Work on your homework.”

Raven knows she isn’t kidding. Octavia is just doing that thing where she changes the subject when she already knows the answer to her question; and she’s pretty sure this is stressing her out more than if she had just told Octavia to begin with. But she does as Octavia says, finally feeling relief as Octavia’s eyes leave her and seeing her friend move onto her own bed.

When Octavia has her nose buried in a book and her headphones in, she pulls out her phone and shoots a quick text to Abby.

_Octavia knows._

__  
  


* * *

 

“How the _hell_ did she find out?”

“I don’t know, she just asked if I was sleeping with you-”

“How did she even know you were sleeping with someone?”

“I told her.”

Abby lets out a heavy sigh, running her hands along her face. Abby isn’t mad at her, Raven knows that, but she’s frustrated because they’ve barely gotten into two weeks without someone finding out about them. Perhaps it’s an omen of sorts, Raven isn’t sure, but she does know Abby is freaking out.

“I couldn’t lie to her, Abby,” Raven explains, reaching out and pulling away the hands covering Abby’s face. “I only told her I was sleeping with someone, she figured out the rest.”

“I know,” Abby says softly, gripping Raven’s hands and squeezing gently. “It’s something I like about you, your inability to lie to your friends. But this is just-”

“Big, I know.”

Biting her lip, Abby pulls Raven closer to her, wrapping her arms around her neck. “And you’re certain she won’t tell anyone?”

“Positive,” Raven replies with a small grin, wrapping her arms around Abby’s waist. “Now, can we please just make out for awhile?”

Abby laughs, leaning back into Raven’s grip and the kitchen counter. “You’re never sated, are you?”

“I’m in my twenties, what can I say?”

Smirking, Abby leans forward slightly, brushing her lips against Raven’s. “Stop reminding me, you’re making me feel old.”

Nipping gently at Abby’s lip, Raven’s grin only grows at the small gasp released from the other woman’s throat. “Really? Because this is kind of a turn on for me.”

“Please stop talking,” Abby says quickly, leaning forward and capturing Raven’s lips with her own.

The kiss escalates quickly from tender brushes and small breathes between to hungry teeth grazing against one another. Abby’s nails are digging into the back of Raven’s neck, right along her where her hair is. Raven’s pushing up her skirt, bit by bit, savoring each touch of new skin. She almost has the hem of it high enough to where she can bury her fingers where she’s certain Abby is soaking, nails biting at each piece of skin she feels along the way.

Raven freezes as the sound of Abby’s cellphone rings through the air.

Sighing, Abby pulls her lips from Raven’s, “I should get that.”

Raven’s lips move down her neck, nipping gently at the soft skin there. “No one’s stopping you.”

She knows Abby is rolling her eyes, but Raven decides not to care, even as the other woman turns in her arms and presses her backside into her waist. Her lips are trailing along the back of Abby’s neck as the professor reaches for her purse, pulling the phone out.

Raven knows she should probably stop, stop the trailing of her fingers against Abby’s thighs and skirt up to where the blouse is tucked into the skirt. Stop the kisses along Abby’s neck and the teeth grazing the bit of skin beneath Abby’s ear. However, Abby isn’t objecting as she answers the phone, so she sees no issue with it.

She’s not paying attention to the words leaving Abby’s lips, just listening to the soft gasps that the other woman tries to cover and the soft whimper she releases when Raven’s fingers are under her blouse and trailing underneath her bra. She hears bits of frustration, but Raven assumes it’s from the movements of her lips across Abby’s skin rather than anything else. Abby hangs up the phone, and Raven is about to drag her hands back down and between Abby's thighs before she hears the heavy, exasperated sigh from Abby's lips.

“Raven,” Abby says quickly, hands moving and removing Raven’s from her skin. “I have to go.”

Sighing, Raven intertwines her fingers with Abby’s, savoring how the other woman leans back into her. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.” Abby rests her head against Raven’s shoulder, biting her bottom lip. “I also need a small favor.”

“How small is small?”

“Not at all?” Releasing Raven’s hand, Abby turns back around, adjusting her skirt back to its previous state. “Jake was supposed to have Clarke tonight, but something came up, so he can’t. He’d ask Callie to watch her, but Callie can’t.”

“Where are you going?” Raven questions, resting her hands on the counter.

“To Callie. She is part of the emergency Jake mentioned.”

Frowning, Raven scans over Abby’s face. “What about our date?”

Sighing, Abby reaches up, running her hand along Raven’s cheek, “You know I wouldn’t cancel unless I had to.”

Raven hums in agreement, but the frown remains. It was hard to have a secret relationship and actually be able to plan a date around hiding, so cancelling was a pretty big deal. However, from the bit of worry that’s hinted in Abby’s eyes, she knows it’s serious. Or at least serious enough to warrant their date be postponed.

“So, the favor?”

Nodding, Abby smiles slightly, “How good are you with kids?”

“I mean, I assume pretty good, but what does that-” Realization dawns on her face. “You can’t be serious.”

“It’d only be for a few hours," Abby tries to assure her. "Plus, she’s rather self sufficient.”

“You know that isn’t why I’m worried about it.”

Clarke is smart, Raven knows as much from her brief interaction with the kid before and from Abby. Smart isn’t a bad thing, not entirely. Raven herself was a bright kid, and bright kids pick up on the smallest of things. The small things adults think they’re capable of hiding. Things like their parent using drugs; or as in Clarke’s case, it would be her mother having a secret relationship. Keeping something like this from Clarke wasn’t good, Raven knew that, but she also knew Clarke was nine. Nine year olds weren’t the greatest secret keepers, and she understood Abby not wanting to risk it. But Raven also knew it would be a lot harder to hide if Clarke actually met her again.

“I know,” Abby says softly, brows furrowed. “You know I wouldn’t ask unless I really needed this.”

Chuckling, Raven nods as she pulls away. “I know. It won’t be too bad though, right?”

“No. She just needs to be fed and put to bed at a decent hour.” Shrugging, Abby tucks the bit of her blouse that had been pulled out by Raven back into her skirt. “Plus, Lexa will probably come over if Clarke is here. They keep each other busy.”

“Right,” Raven nods, licking her lips as she takes a deep breath. “Well, then alright. I can be a babysitter for a bit.”

Abby looks like she’s about to reply, but is cut off as the door opens and the sound of small feet running across the floor hit her ears. Raven watches the bright, wide smile come across Abby’s lips a Clarke wraps her arms tightly around her mother’s waist, and she can’t help but recall the photo on Abby’s desk. The one with her bright smile with just her and Clarke. It’s then that Raven realizes she has to get Clarke to like her to make have things continue, and work, with Abby.

“Clarke, this is Raven,” Abby begins, “My… Special friend.”

A curious look comes over Clarke’s eyes as she looks Raven over, and _oh_ , does Raven know exactly why she’s being eyed suspiciously.

_How could Abby forget we’ve already met?_

“I thought she was your student,” Clarke states more than questions, eyes trained on Raven.

Raven has never felt so judged in her entire life than under the gaze of this nine year old.

“Well,” Abby attempts, kneeling down to meet Clarke’s eye level, “she was. But now we’re friends.”

“Right,” Clarke says softly. It’s then Raven realizes just how screwed she is, because Clarke is a lot smarter than she initially assumed. Apparently, a lot smarter than Abby had thought as well.

“Anyway, she’ll be watching you while your dad and I go meet with Callie, is that okay?”

Shrugging, Clarke lets the bag around her shoulder fall to the kitchen floor. “I guess. Can Lexa come over?”

“Of course,” Abby replies, smile bright as she tucks a strand of blonde hair behind Clarke’s ear. “Just behave and try not to give Raven too hard of a time,” she says, winking at Raven before her gaze goes back to her daughter.

Releasing a heavy sigh, Clarke rolls her eyes. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“You locked the babysitter in the bathroom, Clarke.”

Pursing her lips, Clarke crosses her arms over her chest, grumbling a “fine” out of her lips as she looks away from her mother.

Grinning, Abby presses a kiss to Clarke’s temple, standing up and grabbing her purse. Turning to Raven, she comes close, leaving little space between them. “You’ll be fine,” she says, attempting to calm Raven.

“Says you,” Raven replies with a playful grin, reaching out and gripping Abby’s hand. “You owe me so big.”

“Mmm, I’m sure I’ll think of some way to make it up to you,” Abby whispers, eyes going to Clarke to make sure she isn’t listening. “Thank you, for doing this.”

“Of course. Go save the world,” Raven replies, and she’s about to lean in for a kiss, but stops when she sees the questioning brow from Clarke once again.

Smiling, Abby nods, pulling her hand away as she walks out the kitchen. “Behave, Clarke,” she calls over her shoulder, and Raven is certain she’s gone when the sound of the door opening and shutting meets her ears.

Eyes going to Clarke, Raven notes how the child is mimicking her position. Leaning against the bottom part of the kitchen counter, arms crossed over her chest, looking over Raven. For a moment, she thinks she’s about to laugh, because she looks so much like Abby in that moment. She knows Abby doesn’t see it, but Clarke is like a miniature version of her.

“So,” Clarke says softly, pushing off the counter and grabbing her bag. “I’m going to call Lexa to see if she wants to come over.”

“Sounds good to me,” Raven says with a shrug of her shoulders. “I’ll be right here, working on my homework.”

Pulling her bag over her shoulder, Clarke tilts her head in curiosity. “What’s the homework?”

“Advanced chemical reactions.”

Clarke makes a face at that, “Ew.”

“Same,” Raven grins, grabbing the phone off the counter behind her, handing it to Clarke. “Don’t leave the backyard.”

Clarke nods, taking the phone and moving quickly out of the kitchen. Raven isn’t entirely sure if Clarke is going to be the hassle she initially assumed she’d be, but she does know she’ll make it sound terrible if she has to to get the reward Abby quietly promised her.

 

* * *

 

Raven really should’ve given Clarke more credit, she’s decided, because the kid has her more exhausted than she’s been in years.

Clarke has kept her on her toes the entire night, and the few hours Abby had promised have turned into an entire evening and a good portion of the night, with the other woman telling Raven she probably wouldn’t be back until late. That wasn’t too bad, but when she had thought Clarke was missing halfway into this, she nearly had a heart attack at the ways she tried to think of explaining to Abby how exactly she lost her kid. Still, even though Clarke has exhausted her, Raven would be lying if she said she didn’t have at least a little fun. Granted, that fun was from teasing Clarke about her crush on Lexa, but Raven couldn’t resist giving the nine year old a hard time about it.

Now Clarke was passed out in her bed, and Raven was laying on the couch, flipping through the channels at nearly 2 a.m. Well, if they could even be called channels, it was basically nonstop infomercials.

At the sound of a key in the lock, Raven’s ears perk up, the door being opened. She would lean up, but her arms and back are sore from playing with Clarke and Lexa most of the night and her attempting to cook. Granted, this time didn’t end in Abby’s curtains being burned.

“Raven?” she hears, and Raven groans in response, lifting her arm up from where she is on the couch.

“Over here.”

She hears the soft pad of footsteps and then Abby is above her, chuckling as she looks down to Raven on the couch.

“Oh my, what did they put you through?”

“The trials,” Raven replies, pouting up to Abby. “You’ve raised a monster who apparently doesn’t have an off switch.”

Laughing, Abby rolls her eyes as she rounds the couch, sitting next to Raven’s feet. “Like I said, she’s her father’s daughter. He also doesn’t have an off switch.”

Raven grins, shaking her head. “You say that, but every time she opened her mouth or made a face, all I could see was you.”

Smiling, Abby rested her hand on Raven’s knee, squeezing. “Thank you, for watching her. I know it’s weird, especially since we just started seeing one another, but it does mean a lot to me.”

“I know,” Raven reassures, reaching down and taking Abby’s hand into hers. “Really, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Plus, I now know something you don’t.”

“What’s that?” Abby questions, eyebrow raised.

Licking her lips, Raven shrugs her shoulders, tugging Abby’s hand gently. “I think I’ll need some convincing to tell you.”

Smirking, Abby shakes her head, pulling her hand from Raven’s as she shift and rests her hands on either side of the younger woman’s torso. “With my daughter upstairs? I don’t think so.”

“Then I guess you’ll just have to wait to find out,” Raven teases, leaning up slightly to press a gentle kiss to Abby’s lips. “You owe me a date now, anyway.”

Releasing a breath from her lips, Abby nods. “I know. I really am sorry I cancelled, you know.”

“I know,” Raven replies, pressing another kiss to Abby’s lips. “It just means I have to make the date even better than initially planned.”

“As long as it’s with you, I don't really care what it is.”

Chuckling, Raven rolls her eyes, wrapping her arms around Abby’s shoulders, pulling her back down onto the couch with her. “That’s a _really_ bad line. Did you get it from a kid's show?”

“I blame the late night,” Abby sighs out, pressing a kiss to Raven’s jaw. “But, crisis averted. For now, at least.”

“What was the crisis?”

“Callie misplaced a few very important things of Kane’s.” Burying her face into Raven’s neck, Abby sighs. “Things that Callie could’ve very easily found without us.”

“You cancelled our date for a scavenger hunt?”

“Callie said huge emergency, I assumed it was an _actual_ emergency.”

“Cock blocker.”

“Agreed,” Abby replies, and Raven can feel her eyelashes flutter against her neck. “It’s amazing. She doesn’t know anything about this, and yet she’s managed to interfere more than she would if she did know.”

Chuckling, Raven runs her fingers through Abby’s hair, enjoying the feel of the other woman against her. With or without clothes, this was relaxing to her; just having Abby in her arms soothed her after the long day of catching kids and trying to avoid being yet another sitter locked in the bathroom.

“Are you going to tell her?” Raven questions. “O knows, so I figure you telling someone wouldn’t be a big deal.”

“Maybe,” Abby replies, taking one of Raven’s hands and intertwining their fingers. “Callie is good at keeping secrets, and she knows who you are. But I don’t want her lying to Kane on my behalf.”

Raven sighs, pressing a kiss to the top of Abby’s head. She gets the position Abby is in, at least to some extent. Callie is Abby’s own Octavia, just with some added romantic and sexual history. She gets Abby wanting to let Callie in but not being able to, because Raven has the same issue with Octavia. Yes, Octavia now knows, but Raven can’t verbally talk to her about it regardless of her putting the pieces together. This is the price Abby and Raven knew they’d pay when they entered into this relationship, but it’s not the secret keeping that hurts. It’s who they keep the secrets from.

“Do you want me to go home?” Raven asks after a moment, changing the subject as her fingers continue to lace through Abby’s hair.

“No,” Abby replies, a kiss to Raven’s neck adding to her statement. “You’re really comfortable.”

Grinning, Raven rolls her eyes. Yes, this thing with Abby is complicated, especially with the tiptoeing around everyone they know and care for. It’s new enough to where they could probably end it without hurting the other too badly, but it’s these moments that Raven realizes just how much she’s clinging to them. It’s the quiet moments of just them together, doing something like any other would in a relationship, that makes Raven realize that they might be able to pull this off. Might be able to keep this secret as long as is necessary.

Reaching for the remote with the hand once in Abby's hair, Raven releases a content sigh. “Well then, what’s your infomercial of choice?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy comic con, one and all!

Biting her lip as she looks over herself in the mirror, Abby attempts to calm herself. A date was nothing big - hardly new to her at this age; yet here she was close to heart attack at the idea. Currently, she blames her nerves on the fact that she and Raven could get caught rather than the fact that she hadn’t been on a date she was excited for in _years_. Yes, there was the date with Alex - Shumway, she corrects - but that had been mostly to get over Raven. There was no excitement going in, and certainly none during. Things were different this time around, and that’s exactly what has her thinking of texting Raven and suggesting they just stay in.

“You know, staring at yourself in the mirror doesn’t exactly get your ready for a date faster.”

Jumping at the sound of another’s voice, Abby turns her head around, relaxing when she sees Callie.

“It’s not a date,” Abby quips, turning back to look at herself in the mirror.

“Right… And you asked me to babysit for a friendly get together?”

Grinning, Abby nods, smoothing her hands over her shirt. “Exactly.”

Rolling her eyes, Callies moves and sits on the end of Abby’s bed, pushing aside the discarded clothing on it. “Okay, well where is this person taking you for the friendly get together?”

“No idea, she just said to dress casual.”

Abby is glancing back in the mirror every so often, watching as the curious expression shifts and a grin spreads over Callie’s face. Pushing in her earrings, Abby turns, brows furrowed as she looks over her friend.

“What? Is something on my back?”

“No,” Callie replies, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s just nice to see you like this after so long.”

“And what is ‘this?’”

“Happy.”

Feeling heat rise in her cheeks, Abby can’t help but smile slightly. Callie, always the supporter of Abby’s happiness, even if her friend’s bizarre questioning tactics drove her up a wall. She had the best intentions at heart, Abby knew that, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t still angry about being stuck in a nearly translucent shirt for a day.

Clearing her throat, Abby nods, turning to look herself over once more. “Thank you.”

Nodding, Callie stands from his spot, moving back towards the door. “So, do I have any rules with caring for your daughter tonight?”

Smirking, Abby turns around, raising an eyebrow. “Do you even have to ask?”

Sighing, Callie leans against the door frame. “Come on Ab, it’s the weekend. Let the kid stay up late.”

Pursing her lips, Abby moves past her, patting Callie’s shoulder on the way, “She’s nine and needs her sleep.”

“She’s nine and you should let her live a little.”

Turning around, Abby raises an eyebrow. “Letting her stay up is living a little?”

“It was when we were her age,” Callie replies with a simple shrug, pushing off the doorway and moving close to Abby. “Come on, she and Lexa can stay in the basement and watch some movies. It wouldn’t kill her to stay up until 2 in the morning, Might even teach her something.”

“Such as?”

“How staying up late can make you super tired the next day.”

Scanning over her, Abby lets a breath out through her nose, relenting. “Fine. Just make sure she and Lexa don’t get into anything down there.”

“Deal,” Callie replies, accomplished grin on his face.

Rolling her eyes, Abby can’t stop the soft laugh that leaves her lips as she turns and makes her way down the stairs, the pad of footsteps behind her telling her that Callie is following.

“So, about this date…”

“Not a date.”

“Clarke seems to think otherwise.”

Freezing at the foot of the stairs, Abby whips around, only to see Callie grinning in response.

“I _knew it_ ,” Callie says with accomplishment, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s the student, isn’t it?”

She doesn’t want to lie to Callie again, but she also knows she can’t exactly tell Callie either. If she tells Callie, she knows she’ll keep it a secret, and that’s the issue. Abby has always been Callie’s first pick, ever since they were kids. It didn’t exactly become an issue until Callie and Kane became a couple, and later on married. Despite the differences between herself and Kane, Abby and him were still friends, and knowing Callie would hide this from her husband? She couldn’t put Callie in that position, no matter how much she needs her friend for this.

“No,” Abby lies, moving past Callie and into the living room, reaching for her purse. “Not a date, and no outing with a student. It’s just a friendly get together, like I said.”

“Yes, because introducing someone as your ‘special friend’ to your kid has always been a sign of things being purely friendly.”

“You don’t even know who I introduced to Clarke.”

“I know what Clarke told me.”

 _Traitor_.

“I know she told me about the lady who made her mom smile, with black hair in a ponytail and tanned skin.”

“That could be anyone,” Abby attempts, looking through her bag to make sure she has everything she needs.

“I agree,” Callie nods, leaning on the back of the couch so she can face Abby. “However, when Clarke described the brace around the left leg, I think it narrows the pool.”

For a moment, Abby can’t help but sigh. Of course Clarke told Callie about the brace, she’s been fascinated with them ever since Callie had talked to the young blonde her new job and showed her around the facility. Callie’s new job just happened to be working with braces and prosthetics, something that would easily intrigue anyone, but especially Clarke, seeing a mixture of her father’s and mother’s fields in one setting.

Her daughter had always been close to Callie, told her nearly everything, something which was nice for a lot of things. _This_ was not one of those things.

“Can we not talk about this?”

“Come on, Abby, seriously? I’m your best friend, we tell one another everything. I mean, it’s not like I’d tell Kane if you were sleeping with a student.”

“Exactly.”

Furrowing her brows, Callie tilts her head as she looks over Abby. “So you _want_ me to tell Marcus you’re sleeping with a student?” she questions, confused gaze meeting Abby’s eyes.

“No, that’s not it,” Abby sighs, setting down her purse. “I don’t want you hiding something from Marcus because I told you to.”

The confused gaze only deepens across Callie’s features.

“You’re my best friend, Callie, and you’ve always put me first. Which is nice, but I don’t exactly enjoy the tormented look I see on Marcus’ face when we whisper to one another.”

It takes a moment, but after a few seconds, the confusion clears on Callie’s face and she looks down to the floor.

“Oh.”

Reaching out, Abby takes Callie’s hand, squeezing it gently. “You’re smart, Callie. If you already know something, why do you need me to tell you it?”

“No,” Callie relents, squeezing Abby’s hand gently. “But I really want to be involved and know what’s happening in your life.”

“You already do, you hardly need me telling you,” Abby chuckles, nudging Callie gently. “You basically know everything.”

“Damn close.” Lifting her eyes, Callie smiles slightly, squeezing Abby’s hand once more before letting go. “At least keep me somewhat informed, okay? If this is big enough to where you’re breaking the rules, it’s obviously important.”

“I’d like to think so,” Abby replies, shrugging as she runs a hand through her hair.

Grinning, Callie shakes her head. “You really do look good, stop fussing.”

As the doorbell sounds in her ears, Abby picks up her purse, smiling as she grips Callie’s shoulder. “Thanks.”

“You know I love watching Clarke.”

“You know that isn’t what I meant.”

“Yeah,” Callie responds, grinning as she nods towards the door. “Go. Your gal pal is waiting.”

Rolling her eyes, Abby presses a kiss to Callie’s cheek before heading out the door.

 

* * *

 

“Trivia night? Seriously?”

Chuckling, Raven nods, “Yeah.”

“You know, not everything we do together has to be educational,” Abby says with a grin, sliding into the stool at the high table.

“No. But tonight is female scientists night, so I figured we’d kick some serious ass.”

Humming in response, Abby nods, scanning across the darkness of the bar. “It has nothing to do with the fact that your friend owns the bar and he’ll give us free drinks?”

“Perhaps,” Raven relents, resting her hand on Abby’s knee. “It might also have nothing to do with the fact that this is where we first met.”

Abby busts out into laughter at that, and Raven can’t help the warmth that spreads in her chest at the sound of it. “That’s probably the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, but it is pretty romantic, don’t you think?”

Abby just smiles and leans forward slightly, pressing their foreheads together, “I think you’re just trying to get into my pants.”

“It’s working, isn’t it?” Raven questions, brushing their lips against one another.

Abby opens her mouth to respond, but as a bit of light is shined onto Bellamy at the front of the back, microphone in hand, she stops and pulls away.

If Raven is honest, she’s not really paying attention to Bellamy or the rules right now. Instead, her eyes are trained on Abby, who’s biting her lip as a smile comes over her lips.

Raven has always been the competitive type; always number one or nothing, that was her view of things. From what she’s seen of Abby, the older woman is no different. She may be more quiet about it, but Abby is definitely not the kind of person who would lose so easily. In that sense, she makes the perfect trivia partner. In another sense, it also makes their debates on what to watch on tv much more intense than they probably should be.

“Now that the rules are clear, let's begin,” Raven hears Bellamy say, turning to look at him up front. “The first question of the night: Who is the mother of modern physics?”

Her eyes look around to some of the other tables, watching as people whisper amongst themselves in attempts to figure it out. She also sees a few people pull out their phones, which only causes her to chuckle. She had helped Bellamy set up a cell block before the night began, and she had tested it herself to make sure it worked. Phones were now useless in helping anyone with trivia.

Letting her eyes go back to Abby, she watches as her date scribbles a name quickly before folding it in half, resting her hand on top of it.

“Think I’ll steal your answer?” Raven questions, raising an eyebrow.

“No,” Abby replies with a soft chuckle. “We’re on the same team, I’m just very protective of my answers.”

“I get the feeling you were the one who hovered over your tests even though no one could see your answers.”

“Your assumption would be correct.”

Grinning, Raven leans over, pressing a simple kiss to Abby’s cheek. “You’re cute.”

Smirking, Abby turns her head and rolls her eyes. “I had a feeling you were a hopeless romantic.”

“I can be,” Raven replies, shrugging as she watches Abby shake her head. “What?”

“Nothing,” Abby says, watching as someone with a small basket is coming around to collect the answers. “I just haven’t been on a date in awhile - an actual date - and it’s…” Biting her bottom lip, Abby tilts her head before looking over to Raven. “It’s really nice, to be honest.”

“Yeah?” Raven questions, turning herself a bit more so she faces Abby. “Even if it is at a crappy bar for trivia night?”

“Isn't this your friend's bar?”

“Doesn’t mean it can’t be crappy.”

Smirking, Abby nods. “Okay then, yes even if it is at a crappy bar.”

Smiling, Raven sits up a bit straighter as warmth spreads through her chest. _Mission accomplished_ , she thinks as Bellamy walks back onto the stage.

“Second question: Who was the first person to win a Nobel Prize in two different disciplines?”

As Abby scribbles onto the another piece of paper, Raven can’t help but chuckle.

“Are you even challenged by this?”

“No,” Abby replies, shrugging as she turns back to Raven. “I mean, when I was in school, I took a lot of-”

Raven furrows her brows as Abby’s eyes go wide, and she tries to follow where they go, but she sees nothing but the tables with people whose faces she doesn’t recognize.

“What is it?” Raven asks, reaching over to rest her hand on Abby’s. Her fingers barely even graze Abby’s hand before she pulls away, causing a lump to rise in Raven’s throat.

“Who do you see?”

Eyes going from where she’s looking to Raven, Abby is already easing out of her seat as she replies, “One of my students.”

Looking over her shoulder, Raven tries to identify where Abby is looking, but still nothing. “Well, most students sleep in your class, are you sure she’ll recognize you?”

The glare from Abby causes Raven to only grin, even though they’re caught in one of the few situations that puts them at risk.

“She sits in front and answers every question, so _yes_ , I do,” Abby responds quickly, pulling on her coat and grabbing her purse.

“Shit,” Raven hisses, sliding off the chair quickly, pulling on her jacket. “Go ahead, I’ll meet you outside.”

Abby doesn’t even respond as she walks out of the bar. Sighing heavily, Raven runs her fingers through her hair as she makes her way to Bellamy, digging into her pocket.

“Woah, you know you don’t pay here,” Bellamy responds, raising his hand. “If you did, this would be a much classier place.”

Chuckling, Raven shakes her head, sliding Bellamy a few bills. “No, but I really want to pay for my date, so let me.”

Grinning, Bellamy reaches out, taking the money and pressing a few buttons on the register. “Told you you’d get caught.”

“ _Almost_ , Bell. Almost.”

Putting the money into the register and shutting it, he shrugs. “Does it really make much of a difference?”

Biting her lip, Raven sighs, pulling her jacket a bit tighter around herself. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

They’ve been walking in silence for awhile. Originally, Raven had driven her motorcycle over to Abby’s, planning to get them to the bar that way. However, after Abby refused (several times) and called Raven’s newest project a few nicknames (“death trap,” “midlife crisis mobile,” and “scrap metal” being the most frequently used), it was decided it would be best to walk to the bar. It wasn’t bad on the way there, but with the heavy silence weighing between them on the way back, Raven was really wishing Abby had been slightly more adventurous.

Part of Raven is tempted to reach out and take Abby’s hand into her own, but Abby’s hands are buried deep into her coat pockets and she’s pretty sure that, after almost getting caught, she really isn’t in the mood for it. However, they still have a bit of a walk to go, and Raven can’t stand the silence between them for much longer.

“So,” Raven attempts, watching her breath in the cool night air, “that went-”

“Terribly,” Abby finishes.

Sighing, Raven turns her head to Abby, reaching out and taking a gentle hold of her elbow. Only enough to stop her, because Abby tenses at the touch and Raven’s suspicions of the other woman’s wariness are confirmed.

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t know we’d run into one of your students,” Raven tries, hoping to calm Abby a bit.

“You took us to your friend’s bar.”

“The lights were almost all out.”

“The fact remains the same,” Abby snaps, and Raven knows she doesn’t mean to, but it causes her to wince regardless.

Shutting her eyes and taking a breath, Abby shifts her weight in the uncomfortable air that’s hanging between them.

“I’m sorry,” Abby apologizes, looking back up to Raven.

“Don’t be.”

“I am.” Taking her hands out from her pockets, Abby looks as though she might reach out to Raven but hesitates at the last second, “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“I did sort of fuck up our date,” Raven laughs out, but it’s bitter and causes her stomach to churn. For her perfectionist mind, she feels like she’s admitted complete defeat.

Shaking her head, Abby takes a step closer to Raven, hands flexing at her sides. “No, you were trying to be sweet and take me on a date.”

“Which got messed up.”

“Which was actually the best date I’ve been on in years,” Abby corrects, raising an eyebrow.

Scanning over Abby’s eyes, Raven furrows her brows. “Really?” she asks, unable to hide the skepticism in her voice.

“Really.”

Reaching out, Raven finally takes one of Abby’s hands, relief filling her as the other woman doesn’t pull away. “You must’ve been on some shitty dates.”

A wide smile comes over Abby’s lips as she nods, turning away from Raven and beginning to walk again, still keeping a hold of her hand. “Did I ever tell you about the date I was on when you came into my office with a broken nose?”

Shaking her head, Raven nudges Abby lightly with her shoulder to prompt her. “No, but now I’m curious.”

Laughing, Abby leans into Raven a bit, intertwining their fingers. “Well, I didn’t stay for long, but he had the nerve to order my food for me.”

Raising an eyebrow, Raven looks down to Abby, mostly in disbelief, “No way.”

“Mhm.” Licking her lips, Abby reaches around with her other hand, gripping the arm she’s leaning into, “I ended up changing my order to the most expensive thing on the menu.”

“I’m sure that made it taste even better.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Abby replies, running her thumb along the leather jacket covering Raven. “Octavia called right after that.”

“Damn,” Raven mutters, shaking her head. “Almost a shame, I would’ve loved to hear how it ended.”

“Well, I know the woman who owns the restaurant. Despite my leaving, he still had to pay for all the food, and she saw my waiter spit in his dish.”

“Was the waiter fired?”

“No,” Abby replies simply, a wide smile on her lips. “Diane saw the entire interaction, she encouraged him to do so.”

Raven can’t stop the laughter at that, squeezing Abby’s hand. “Yeah, okay, maybe almost getting fired was a better date than that.”

Humming in agreement, Abby releases a soft sigh as they approach her house. All of the lights appear to be off inside the home except for one, which Raven assumes is where Callie is. The rest of the street is silent, and mostly all Raven can hear is the distant sounds of the nightly train that’s several miles south of them.

She doesn’t want this night to end, she knows that much as she walks Abby up to the door. The night was cut short by their worst fear, and Raven really doesn’t want to let go of Abby’s hand. As they walk up the stairs to the porch and face each other, Raven can’t stop the soft smile on her lips.

“So,” she begins, releasing Abby’s hand and wrapping her arms around her waist, “is this the part where you invite me in for coffee but we actually just make out on the couch?”

“No.” Reaching up and resting her hands right under Raven’s shoulders, Abby shakes her head, “This is the part where you tell me you’ll call me and kiss me goodnight.”

Groaning, Raven leans forward, resting her forehead against Abby’s. “Seriously? I wore my hair down for this.”

“And it looks really nice,” Abby replies, a grin playing on her lips. “But I’m pretty firm on my ‘no-sex-on-the-first-date’ rule.”

“But we’ve already slept together,” Raven tries, fingers tracing underneath Abby’s shirt and on the small of her back. “Many times.”

“Yes, and those were great. But still, no.”

Grinning, Raven brushes her nose against Abby’s with a content sigh. “I’ve got myself quite the moral woman.”

“Hardly, I’m dating my former student.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmm, and if she doesn’t kiss me goodnight soon, I have this feeling like that my friend will come and ruin this moment.”

As if on cue, the porch lights above them are flipped on and off quickly before being completely turned off, leaving the pair in the dark.

“Wow.”

“Told you.”

Laughing, Raven rolls her eyes. “I didn’t think you were serious.”

“I was.” Leaning forward and brushing her lips against Raven’s, Abby shivers slightly, “Now kiss me so I can go inside. I’m freezing.”

“I told you you could wear my jacket.”

“Raven,” Abby warns.

Leaning forward, Raven captures Abby’s lips with her own. It’s gentle and tender and it makes Raven’s heart pound faster than any of the rushed, teeth clashing kisses she’s ever shared with Abby ever have. She feels Abby’s hands slide up and cup the back of her neck, the feeling of tracing fingers causing her to shiver slightly.

When Abby pulls back, Raven whimpers at the loss of contact.

“How firm are you on that no sex rule?”

“My daughter is inside with her friend.”

“So slightly flexible?”

“ _Raven_.”

“Fine,” Raven relents, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of Abby’s lips as she pulls away. “What was it I was supposed to say again?”

“That you’ll call me,” Abby chuckles, moving backwards towards the door, eyes still not leaving Raven. “Which I have no doubt you’ll do.”

Scoffing, Raven rolls her eyes. “So cocky.”

“You have yet to give me a reason not to be.” Turning the knob, Abby bites her bottom lip, “Stay safe on your death machine.”

“I will,” Raven assures, backing up slowly and nearly tripping when she forgets that there are actual steps behind her. “And I’ll call you.”

Nodding, Abby finally opens the door and moves inside, flashing one more sweet smile to Raven. “Goodnight, Raven.”

“Night, Abby,” she replies, the door shutting.

Letting out a pleased sigh, Raven turns and makes her way down the few remaining stairs to her motorcycle. Her heart’s still pounding in her ears, and the shit eating grin on her face is probably wider from making Abby blush and coy than she would be over making her come undone around her fingers. Because, while the sex is great, Raven’s pretty sure that, now, she’s stay for so many more reasons. That smile is one.

 

* * *

 

Working on Bellamy’s car has proven to be more daunting of a task than she originally believed it to be. The number of issues that arise every time she opens the hood has Raven curious how Bellamy was able to drive the car ten miles from the junkyard to the shop; let alone how the car even turned on for said drive. It’s as though everything has had to be replaced in the car except for the shell, which Raven is thankful for.

A project is something Raven always likes to have, it was why Wick had given her that motorcycle in Texas. It had been completed in the time she had in Texas without error, and she had even been able to drive it all the way from the shop to her dorm without too many issues ever arising. _That_ was a project.

Bellamy’s car was a failing science experiment.

“Well, I ordered the transmission for the car last week, but apparently it isn’t going to get here until tomorrow,” Anya says, sighing as she pulls her hair up into a tight ponytail.

Since Bellamy’s car has become Raven’s nightmare, Anya has also pitched in to help. Lincoln has stopped by every so often with beers and moral support, but he isn’t as into cars as Anya is. Plus, Anya has more experience than Lincoln, such as knowing which line is gas and which are electrical. Meaning Raven didn’t have to worry about getting covered in gasoline again.

“That’s fine,” Raven replies, wiping a bit of sweat from her brow. “I don’t think we can put it in yet anyway, considering we still don’t have all the parts anyway.”

Chuckling, Anya nods, holding out a dark bottle. “Beer?”

“Gladly,” Raven says as she takes the bottle, using the rage next to her to help her grip and open it. “Where’s Bell today, anyway? Usually he pops his head in by now to offer a hand.”

“The bar,” Anya replies with a shrug, taking a sip of her own beer. “There’s an issue with a few of his taps, so he and Lincoln are working on it.”

“Is that really such a good idea?”

“Probably not,” Anya admits, a playful grin spreading over her lips, “but I figured if he wanted my help, he’d ask for it.”

Nodding, Raven moves to the metal workbench closer to Anya, hopping onto it and letting her legs dangle as she takes a sip of her drink. “Fair enough.”

It’s weird, interacting with Anya like this. They spend a lot of time together, but that time is usually in silence as they work on Bellamy’s car, or with another person there as a sort of buffer that keeps the conversation going. If Raven really thinks it over, she’s not sure she’s actually had a one on one conversation with Anya that didn’t have to do with Bellamy’s car.

It isn’t as though she doesn’t like Anya, it’s more that Raven is still adapting to the idea of Bellamy having a girlfriend long enough that she actually wants to create some sort of relationship with them. At this point, Raven thinks they’re too far into this bizarre relationship to actually create one where they become anything more than the grunts who work on Bellamy’s car.

Raven’s biting her bottom, tapping her fingers along the beer bottle, her gaze fixed on some bizarre crack in the concrete that she’s certain wasn’t there yesterday.

“So,” Anya says after a moment, causing Raven to lift her gaze, “I hear you’re dating my mom’s friend.”

She’s mid-sip and she nearly chokes, pulling the bottle from her lips and setting it beside her. Coughing and clutching her chest, Raven raises an eyebrow as she meets Anya’s eyes. Despite Raven’s near death experience, Anya is just smirking in a knowing way and _what does she know that I don’t_?

“Who’s your mom?” Raven asks after a moment, still clearing her throat in attempts to make sure any of the beer left in her throat go away.

“Her name is Indra,” Anya begins, pulling a stool up to the workbench Raven is sitting on, “but you probably know her better as Professor Woods.”

Her heart is pounding so loud that she’s certain the restaurant across the street could hear it vividly. Her mind is racing so fast because _how many people know_ and part of her wants to scream because even though she didn’t tell Octavia outright that she and Abby were dating, she does know. Bellamy knew because of Octavia, but that had (almost) worked in her favor when planning her first date with Abby.

Raven has known Octavia and Bellamy since she was little, and she knows that they are her close friends that would never tell anyone anything that could get her into trouble. However, it has become abundantly clear that when it comes to the Blake siblings and their significant others, they are absolutely horrid at keeping secrets.

She’s not angry at them, per say, because she gets it. When she was with Finn, she told him everything, including things she was told not to tell anyone. It’s something that happens when you’re with someone and you love them, you don’t want to keep secrets from them. Raven knows that, she respects that. Regardless of her understanding, part of her is pretty sure she’s going to kill Bellamy for telling another professor’s kid. Not only another professor’s kid, but the kid of a professor Raven happens to have a class with.

Her face must be fifty different shades of fear, because Anya is reaching out like she’s going to comfort Raven before pulling back.

“Calm down,” She says after a moment, concern filtering through her eyes for just the briefest moment. “I’m not going to say anything, I was just curious about how you two were doing.”

Scanning over Anya’s face, Raven knows she isn’t lying. However, it isn’t the lying that concerns Raven now, it’s the curiosity.

“Why?” Raven asks, and if there’s a little venom in it, she doesn’t pay it mind.

Anya’s eyebrow is raised, and Raven knows she’s probably made her about ten times more curious with her defensive attitude. “I’ve known Abby since I was fifteen, when my mom adopted Lexa and I. She’s sort of like an aunt to me.”

Raven softens a bit at that. She knew Abby never had any siblings, and like Raven herself, she had found family in her friends. It doesn’t come as much of a shock to Raven now, as the pieces slowly add up in her mind.

“I never knew you had a sister… Or that you were adopted,” Raven says softly, and she almost feels guilty for that. Anya has been around for months and just how little she knows about the woman who makes on of her best friends, practically her brother, so happy is starting to sink in.

“Most don’t until they come over and meet everyone,” Anya admits, a smile playing on her lips. “Lexa and I aren’t actually related, she just came into the foster system as a baby. Babies aren’t usually in the same home as the older kids, but Lexa was placed in a house with me.

“Then Indra showed up and we bonded, and she wanted to be my foster mom. I told her I wouldn’t leave without Lexa,” Anya sighs, the memory obviously a fond one. “So she took Lexa in too.”

“I’m shocked you call her mom, considering she took you in at fifteen.”

“It’s easy when you’ve never had someone to call that before.”

Nodding, Raven lets her eyes fall from Anya. She gets it, in all honesty. Her mother had never been around, always looking for the next easy score and quickest high. The only person who she had ever found an actual mom in was Wick’s mother, and she was more mother than the woman who gave birth to her.

“Why’re you telling me all of this?”

“Because you asked.”

Raven lifts her head, tilting her head in curiosity. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. Plus, I figure you might get it.”

“Really?”

“Bell told me more than your dating history.”

Smirking, Raven shakes her head, relaxing as she takes another sip of her beer. “You’re adding fuel to his funeral pyre, you know that?”

Chuckling, Anya shrugs, pulling her ponytail a bit tighter, “If you were going to kill him, you would’ve done so when he broke the key in the ignition.”

Groaning, Raven covers her eyes at the memory of that. She considered it, in all honesty, especially since they have yet to get the damned key out. “Don’t remind me.”

Grinning, Anya shakes her head, taking a sip of her beer. “Don’t worry, I’m actually helping him get it out tomorrow. At least then he might stop asking to help.”

“Now that would be a miracle.”

As they fall back into silence, Raven smiles slightly. It isn’t heavy and full of awkward conversations about the weather like it had been before; it was comfortable. For awhile, Raven was certain all she had in common with Anya was cars and Bellamy. Now though, she sees that maybe they aren’t so different, and that actually befriending the one girl Bellamy has stayed with for a series of months might not be as terrible as originally believed.

Slipping off the bench, Raven reaches down to adjust the straps of her brace a bit.

“We’re good, by the way.”

Looking to her with a raised eyebrow, Anya tilts her head. “Excuse me?”

“Abby and I,” Raven clarifies, standing up straight. “You asked how we’re doing, and we’re good.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

Raven watches as Abby leans over the desk, eyes focused on grading the papers before her. Abby’s brow is furrowed and she’s biting on her bottom lip, focused on the task before her. So focused she hasn’t even touched the lunch Raven’s brought for her.

Lunch together once a week is something they’ve fallen into, something that’s helped Raven feel like this is a normal relationship, and less like they’re hiding a giant secret. It’s something couples do, or at least she assumes so. Wick’s mother had always brought his father lunch, and she can still remember the way his face lit up when his wife came in with two greasy, brown paper sacks. Even Anya has done it for Bellamy, but more of a last minute dinner when the bartender forgets to get himself something before opening the bar.

Since the failed date, it’s been made clear they can’t go out for a date night. Throw in how Raven lives in the dorms, and their time together is therefore mostly spent at Abby’s. It’s not bad, but having to worry about someone showing up unannounced or having to be cautious of Clarke, it’s not exactly ideal. Even when Abby comes to the garage while Raven works on Bellamy’s car, it’s done with a small hint of paranoia in the back of both of their minds of who might walk in to catch Raven rubbing her greased hands over Abby’s ass.

So, the lunches have become a thing. They don’t always speak much, just content in each other’s company, and that’s fine with Raven. It just feels like something _normal_. Something normal in the unhealthy amount of stress the pair feels at getting caught. Not that Raven would change what they were, she just misses normalcy.

Abby’s furrowed brow and focused expression is something she certainly doesn’t mind watching. Abby is always sexiest when she’s focused in her work, in Raven’s opinion.

_Nothing sexier than a woman dedicated to her job._

However, as gorgeous as she is in the moment, Raven is about five seconds from stealing Abby’s sandwich for herself.

“Ab, are you even going to eat?”

Snapped from her focus, Abby smiles sheepishly, letting the red pen fall from her fingers as she leans back in her chair. “Sorry, lots of grading to catch up on. _Someone_ has been distracting me from my work,” she says with a pointed expression.

“Oh?” Raven asks with a grin, leaning forward slightly. “Sounds like you’re making excuses.”

Raising an eyebrow, Abby rolls her eyes. “Right, well, I’m saving the sandwich for later. You know I can’t grade and eat at the same time.”

“You certainly can’t,” Raven replies, licking her lips.

"Insatiable," Abby laughs, shaking her head as she stands, grabbing the sandwich. “Don’t you have class to get to?”

Sighing, Raven lets her head drop back. “Do you have to be such a mom? I just want to enjoy lunch with you.”

“Yes well, considering I have grading to catch up on, I don’t think I have time for lunch.”

As Abby bends at the waist, Raven lets her eyes roam over the curve of her ass, biting her bottom lip. “You sure? I’m certain I can eat enough for the both of us.”

“You’re not getting my sandwich,” Abby replies, standing before turning back to Raven. “Go to class.”

“But I’m comfortable.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Abby chuckles out, walking over to Raven and offering her hand. “Come on, you have a degree to earn.”

Taking Abby’s hand, Raven pulls her into her lap, grinning as the squeak emitted from the other woman’s throat. “This is so much more fun though.”

Despite the glare Abby’s shooting her, she doesn’t leave Raven’s lap, rather adjusts to make herself more comfortable. “You’re a terrible influence.”

“You’re the professor, aren’t you supposed to be a moral compass of sorts?”

“I think you’re confusing my position with a counselor.”

“Nothing confusing about your position right now.”

Rolling her eyes, Abby still lets a soft laugh escape her lips. “You think you’re hilarious, don’t you?”

“You really aren’t giving me reasons not to think otherwise.” Smirking, Raven slides her hands up Abby’s thighs, pushing the tight pencil skirt up them.

“Raven,” Abby warns.

“What?” she replies, voice innocent as her eyes trail across the skin of Abby’s neck and down to the bit of cleavage peeking out from the tank under her button up. “I’m just helping you get comfortable.”

“Mmm, you’re avoiding.”

Raven scoffs at that, “I am not avoiding.”

“Oh? You’re not avoiding your history class, then?”

“Nope.”

Resting her hands on the back of the chair, Abby rolls her eyes. “It won’t be that bad.”

“Maybe,” Raven nods. “But, this is so much more fun.”

“I have grading to do.”

“And that’s more fun that this?”

Abby opens her mouth as if to reply, but Raven leans forward and catches her bottom lip between her teeth, nibbling gently on it. It causes a soft gasp to elicit from the woman’s throat, Raven digging her nails into the skin of Abby’s thigh.

“Someone could walk in,” Abby attempts, but Raven’s lips are moving down her neck and nipping the skin as she goes.

“Door’s locked,” Raven replies, running her tongue along Abby’s pulse point. “I always lock it.”

“You _what_?”

She chuckles against the column of Abby’s neck. “Never know when an opportunity like this might come up.”

“You think about this?” The question is breathy and sounds more like praise to Raven’s ears than judgement.

She hums against Abby’s neck, hands pushing the tight skirt higher, bunching it at her hips. “You don’t?”

“Well I-” Abby sucks in a breath, and Raven can hear her nails scratching against the fabric of the chair as she bites down on the professor’s collarbone.

“I bet you’ve mostly thought about this happening on your desk though,” Raven offers, fingertips running along Abby’s inner thigh. “Letting me throw everything on it to the floor

Abby isn’t even replying anymore, hips grinding down into Raven’s, eyes falling shut.

“How would you want it? Would you want me on my knees, ripping your panties off?”

Her fingers are gripping the thin material and Raven is so tempted to follow through on those words, tugging as her lips trail down Abby’s chest.

“Yes,” Abby breathes, and her hands are moving to grip Raven’s shoulders.

She isn’t entirely sure if Abby’s just playing along or giving her permission, but Raven can’t find it in her to care as she tugs - _hard_ \- on the material, savoring the sound of stitches popping and Abby gasping as the sensation. Part of Raven wants to make a comment, tease Abby for just how easy it was; but the woman above her has lost all brown in her eyes, pupils dilated to the point that all Raven sees is black. She decides teasing can be saved for another time.

“Would I have to pin your hips down?” Raven continues, nails dragging hard, angry red lines into Abby’s thighs as her breath tickles the skin between her breasts. “You probably wouldn’t be able to keep still with my head between your thighs.

“Or would you want my fingers? How many could you take?”

Abby starts to moan, but she brings a hand to her lips and bites down, suppressing it.

She shouldn’t, but Raven can’t stop the soft chuckle that leaves her lips, biting on the bit of exposed breast.

“I could take you from behind,” she breathes, kissing back up Abby’s chest. “I know how wet it makes you. How you almost beg.”

Her finger slides through Abby’s slit and Raven has to bite her own lip to keep from moaning. Had she known this was Abby’s reaction from simple words, she would’ve started doing it much sooner. Abby is still biting the heel of her hand to suppress sounds from escaping her lips, and Raven wishes she could be loud. She wants to hear the sounds Abby is holding back, but she knows all it takes is someone walking by and hearing to ruin this.

“What if I used that toy you think I don’t know about?”

That causes Abby to freeze, looking down to Raven with wide eyes. Raven on the other hand is just grinning because _oh_ , she does know about the things in Abby’s nightstand; especially the black strap-on.

“Yeah, I know about it,” she says with confidence spreading across her face, free hand reaching up and tangling into the hair at the nape of Abby’s neck. “Were you thinking of using it on me?”

Abby licks her lips, nodding quickly as Raven slides a single finger into her.

“ _Yes_ ,” Abby breathes out, grinding down.

Tugging hard on Abby’s hair, Raven is almost shocked at her own aggression, pulling her down close to where their lips are almost touching as she moves the single finger inside of the woman above her faster.

“Is that what you want then, me bent over the desk? With you fucking me with it?”

“ _Shit_.” Abby is gripping Raven’s shoulders, nails biting into her skin.

Raven knows Abby would be burying her fingers into her hair if not for the fact it was in its usual ponytail, knowing that it was something that would keep her grounded and with something better to grip. It’s part of why Raven loves sex with Abby, she craves the way the other woman claims her in such a way, nails digging into her skull until she forgets what it feels like not to have Abby's fingers there.

She slides a second finger into Abby, feeling muscles fluttering and tightening tight enough that it’s making it hard to move her hand.

“Would you dig your nails into my hips, whisper dirty things into my ear?”

Abby’s hips are shifting quicker above her, and Raven has to grind her own hips into the chair to alleviate some of the pressure building between her thighs. She can tell Abby’s close, breathing becoming harsh and short, nails so deep into her skin she’s sure the skin is going to break, or at the very least bruise.

“Are you going to come for me?” Raven breathes against Abby’s lips, tongue darting out and flicking against her bottom lip. “Open your eyes, I want to watch what I do to you.”

Abby forces her eyes open, and Raven can see the strain in keeping them focused on her. She swipes her thumb across Abby’s clit once, twice, the third being enough to send her over the edge.

The look in Abby’s eyes when she comes around Raven’s fingers - it’s so intense and intimate - is almost enough for her to get off. Abby’s biting her lip hard, trying to keep whatever noise she wants to make quiet as her hips rock in an uncertain rhythm against Raven’s fingers.

She keeps moving her fingers, slow and steady as Abby rides out her orgasm, their eyes locked the entire time. It’s new to Raven, the intimacy in this gaze, and it has her heart pounding so loud that she’s certain anyone within a fifty foot radius can hear it.

After a few moments, Abby is unable to keep her eyes open and her head drops to Raven’s shoulder, steadying breath hitting her skin. Raven slowly pulls her fingers out, curling them once more and smirking at the soft gasp that escapes Abby.

“You still need to go to class,” Abby says softly, however still not moving off of Raven’s lap as she speaks.

“Yeah,” Raven replies, releasing her grip from Abby’s hair and trailing the hand down her back. “Do you still have that meeting tonight?”

“Unfortunately,” Abby sighs, pulling back to look down to the woman beneath her. “You know I’d rather watch you nearly destroy my kitchen than go.”

“One time I almost catch your curtains on fire. Once!”

“Yes,” Abby agrees, cupping Raven’s cheek and running her thumb across it. “But there’s also the time you actually _did_ catch my curtains on fire.”

“Well-”

“And a dish towel.”

“Yeah, but-”

“And burned part of my wall, actually.”

“Okay, okay, I get it. You’d rather watch me burn your house down than go to this meeting, it’s terrible.”

“No,” Abby chuckles, shaking her head. “It’s cute. I like helping you learn to cook, even though I’m pretty sure it’ll cost me my kitchen.”

“Probably,” Raven agrees, shrugging her shoulders. “At least I look sexy in an apron.”

Rolling her eyes, Abby leans down and presses a kiss to Raven’s lips before moving off and standing, legs still shaking slightly post orgasm. “Yes well, I think you’ll look much better in graduation gown.”

Laughing, Raven watches as Abby readjusts her skirt, standing and pulling her bag over her shoulder. “Message received, Dr. Griffin. Are you still meeting me at the garage tomorrow?”

“Yes, just let me know when everyone is gone and I’ll come by.”

“Everyone knows, Abby,” Raven states plainly, moving over to where she had thrown Abby’s ripped panties. “We don’t have to tiptoe around them.”

“Maybe not,” Abby replies with a shrug, moving back around her desk, “but I’m not really comfortable hanging out with people half my age, plus my niece.”

“You’re comfortable around me.”

“I’m dating you, completely different.” Her eyes go to Raven’s hand before holding out her own, “I want those back.”

Looking to the ripped and ruined panties in her hand, Raven grins. “No,” she replies, sliding them into the back pocket of her jeans.

Raising an eyebrow, Abby keeps her hand out. “Raven, give them back,” her words hold warning, a hint of possible backlash. Warning Raven decides to disregard.

“No,” she repeats. “You won’t come and see me when my friends are around, then you don’t get these back. They’re ruined anyway.”

“Don’t be childish, you know all it takes if someone using one of those phone apps for the world to find out about us.” Gesturing to what Raven can only assume is her pocket, Abby continues, “You losing my panties is another.”

“I’m not going to lose them,” Raven replies, shrugging as she moves towards Abby. “I consider them a trophy.”

“Trophy?” Abby questions, skepticism in her voice, eyebrow still raised. “What for?”

Leaning forward across Abby’s desk, Raven grins, “I got to fuck a really hot professor in her office, of course.”

There’s still a hint of anger in Abby’s eyes, but a small smile and a hint of a blush creeping up her cheeks lets Raven knows whatever possible argument they were about to have is gone; for now at least.

“Go to class.”

“I am, I just don’t want to forget something.”

“Such as?”

“This.” Raven leans forward, capturing Abby’s lips with her own, savoring the immediate response.

Pulling back after a moment, Raven licks her lips, standing up and heading towards the door. “I’ll see you later,” she calls over her shoulder, turning the lock on the door.

“Stop stalling,” Abby teases, a smile still on her lips as Raven winks at her, walking out the door.

 

* * *

 

Bowl of popcorn in hand, Abby leans over the back of the couch, handing it to Clarke, along with a glass of water.

“All ready?” Abby asks, smile wide as she heads back to the kitchen to grab the glass of wine she prepared for herself while popping the popcorn.

“Yep!” Clarke calls back to her, remote in the air and toothy grin peeking over the back of the couch as Abby heads back.

“What’d you pick?” Abby asks as she rounds the couch, settling into her usual spot next to her daughter, lifting her legs and letting them rest on the cushion.

“ _Tarzan_ ,” Clarke replies, moving closer to Abby, bowl of popcorn in her lap as she hands her mother the remote. “Aunt Callie says it’s your favorite.”

“Aunt Callie is right, but you know you get to pick the movie, baby.”

Leaning into Abby’s side, Clarke shrugs. “I like it too, and we never watch it, so…”

“ _Tarzan_ it is then,” Abby finishes, clicking the play button on the remote and setting it down.

These nights are Abby’s favorite. The one night every week that she and her daughter just sit and watch a Disney movie. It’s mostly quiet but on occasion, Clarke will ask a question about what’s happening or why someone is doing something. It’s mostly the same, Clarke with a bowl of freshly popped popcorn on her lap and her back nuzzled into Abby’s side. Abby will sip from her glass of wine, running her fingers through tangled blonde waves, mostly focused on the child next to her than the movie itself.

It’s why Disney movies were the usual theme, because originally they had started this when Clarke was six and Abby would watch classic movies. Clarke asked too many questions for Abby to pay attention, and it was far easier to just turn on an animated movie she’s seen enough that if Clarke asks something, she can look to the screen quickly and know exactly what Clarke was asking about. Plus, it was clear Clarke enjoyed the animated figures on the screen much more compared to black and white movies.

They aren’t even five minutes into the movie before her phone rings, causing Clarke to release an exasperated sigh besides her. They had made a deal when Clarke had gotten a little older, Abby would turn off her phone for these movie nights. It must’ve slipped her mind this time and she really wishes it hadn’t because now that it’s ringing, she won’t be able to focus on anything else until she knows who it is.

Offering a soft “ _sorry_ ” Abby shifts and stands, moving over to the table where her phone is buzzing. Glancing over the screen, her eyebrow instantly rises at the caller ID. Not so much at who was calling, but when the hell did Raven take selfies on her phone?

Swiping her thumb across the screen to answer, Abby makes her way to the kitchen, placing the phone against her ear.

“When did you give yourself a picture ID on my phone?”

_“You were asleep, I thought I’d take advantage of it,”_ Raven replies and Abby can almost hear the grin. _“You should see the photos I got on my phone, you’re really cute when you sleep.”_

“I’m actually tempted to have you delete them.”

_“No way, Dr. Griffin passed out and cuddling a pillow is my favorite thing ever.”_

Chuckling, Abby shakes her head, grabbing the bottle of wine she had left out and putting a cork in it. “Why’re you calling?”

_“Can’t I just call to listen to the sweet sound of your voice?”_

“Not when you know it’s my movie night with Clarke.”

_“Shit, is it really?”_

“Raven, what’s up?”

She hears Raven sigh on the other end and it sounds so much like Clarke that Abby can’t stop the soft smile on her lips.

_“So, Octavia and Lincoln claimed the dorm room tonight,”_ she begins, _“and I’d assume they were just hanging out, but they actually put a sock on the door handle.”_

“People still do that?”

_“Not the point,”_ Raven chuckles out. _“I was going to just go stay at the studio at Bell’s bar, but apparently the other bartender claimed it for the night.”_

Abby’s biting her lip because she knows what Raven is asking, and god, she wants to say yes. She wants to say yes so badly but this is her and Clarke’s night, Abby doesn’t want to ruin that. She’s still calling Raven her “special friend” to her daughter, despite Callie cracking the occasional joke and Abby being fairly sure Clarke knows that Raven is definitely more than a simple friend.

_“Abby, you know I wouldn’t ask unless I really had nowhere else to crash,”_ her voice sounds small, pleading even, something she rarely hears from Raven.

“Raven, I don’t-”

“Is that Raven?”

Jumping and turning around, Abby puts her hand over her heart in hopes of it slowing pace. Seeing her daughter look up to her with a curious gaze, Abby starts nodding slowly. There’s no point in lying to Clarke, not when she had just said the woman’s name.

Clarke’s eyes light up at that, a smile growing across her lips, “Is she coming over?”

Abby opens her mouth to respond before stopping, brows furrowed in slight confusion. “Do you want her to?”

Shrugging, Clarke makes her way to the fridge, an empty glass in her hand. “I like Raven,” she replies simply. “She told me cool stuff about her brace.”

Skeptical eyes are roaming over her daughter because yes, it all seems so innocent, but she also knows that Clarke is attached at the hip to Callie and is starting to wonder just how much Raven is brought up.

Turning, Clarke laughs. “Mom, seriously, let her come over. It’ll be fun.”

As Clarke walks out the kitchen, Abby watches, a warm happiness spreading in her chest. Yes, she had hoped her daughter had liked Raven, but since they had only met a couple of times Abby had been unsure of if Clarke even remembered Raven all the much. She’s so distracted by the simple joy that she forgets about the phone in her hand.

_“Abby?”_

Snapping back into reality, Abby puts the phone back to her ear, clearing her throat. “Did you hear any of that?”

Raven laughs at that, and Abby can almost see her nodding. _“Yeah, I sound like the cool girlfriend.”_

Raising her eyebrow, Abby bites her bottom lip at the comment. They’re together, yes, but they hardly ever talk about a title for _this_. She feels about ten years younger at the title, and she even wants to tell Raven they need a better one, but the happiness filling her is enough to where she decides she’ll let it slide for now.

“Apparently,” she replies, pushing back the few strands that’ve fallen out of her braid out of her face. “So, it appears you have permission to come over, if you like.”

_“I would, very much.”_

“I’ll see you in ten?”

_“Five,”_ Raven corrects. _“You know I don’t like going slow.”_

“You do realize you’ll be sleeping on the couch at this rate, right?” Abby grins, peeking her head around the corner to make sure Clarke isn’t listening. “And it isn’t slow, it’s the speed limit.”

_“Fine, seven minutes.”_

Chuckling, Abby shakes her head. “Just let yourself in.”

_“You know I will.”_ And the phone clicks, Raven hanging up on Abby.

Setting the phone down on the counter, Abby can’t stop the bright smile on her lips. Nights with just her and Clarke are her favorite, but now, she’s thinking she’s found a new favorite kind of night with the addition of one more.

 

* * *

 

Taking the glass from Clarke, Abby can’t help but smile slightly as she looks to her sleepy daughter. She’s rubbing her eyes, trying to keep them open. That’s the other nice thing about these movie nights, they tire Clarke out to the point that she doesn’t put up as much of a fight when Abby sends her off to bed. Throw in Raven being there and Clarke was exhausted to the point that she wavered slightly just standing there, making Abby afraid she might fall over.

Setting the glass on the counter, Abby kneels down, hands gripping Clarke’s hands to get her attention.

“You should get to bed.”

Sighing, Clarke lets her head fall back, and Abby has to bite her lip to keep from laughing. Even half asleep her daughter is fighting to stay up.

“But we have a guest,” Clarke tries, yawning halfway through the sentence and causing the last word to be nearly impossible to understand.

“I’m sure Raven will be more than understanding.”

“But-”

“I’m heading to bed too, kiddo.”

Lifting her gaze, Abby smiles as she sees Raven in the doorway. The yawn and stretches are fake, Abby knows, but she’s immediately appreciating it as Clarke seems to be relenting.

“Fine,” Clarke sighs out, pulling her hands from Abby’s to wrap them tightly around her neck. “Night, mom.”

“I love you,” Abby replies, wrapping her arms tightly around Clarke’s small frame.

She hears a grumbled reply, and she’s pretty sure Clarke returned the affection, but with Raven there there was no way she’d say it so openly. She’s getting to that age, Abby knows, and she’s already dreading it. She’s fairly certain movie nights might only last until the next school year, so she’s savoring them while she can.

As Clarke walks out of the kitchen, Abby hears her whisper goodnight to Raven, then her daughter vanishes and she hears the pads of feet head up the stairs.

She flashes a smile to Raven before turning back to the sink, taking the glass Clarke had handed her, turning on the faucet and rinsing it under the warm water.

“She drank water, does it really need to be washed?” Raven teases, and Abby shivers because how is Raven able to move so quietly and quickly that she’s already right behind her?

“Germs exist regardless.”

“You’re going to put it in the dishwasher.”

“Habit, then.”

She feels Raven’s arms slip around her hips, a gentle kiss being placed to her cheek. “Clean freak.”

“Habit,” Abby corrects, setting the glass down before grabbing her dirty wine glass, running it under the water. “Besides, I thought you were going to bed.”

“Your bed is huge, Ab, it’ll be lonely without you.” Raven rests her chin on Abby’s shoulder, arms wrapping tighter around her waist. “Besides, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Oh?” she questions, turning off the faucet and setting the glass down.

“Has Clarke told you about her crush yet?”

“Her _what_?” Abby spins quickly in Raven’s arms, almost hitting her head against the other woman’s in the process. “Clarke has a crush?”

Raven is grinning and it’s so knowing that Abby is close to screaming because how did she not know this? How did she not know her daughter has a crush? Her first one, as far as Abby knew.

“Who is it?”

Raven clucks her tongue, shaking her head as she pulls Abby flush against her. “I pinky promised I wouldn’t tell.”

Pursing her lips, Abby wraps her arms around Raven’s neck. “Really?”

“Yep.”

“And I can’t convince you to tell me who it is?”

“Nope.”

“Mmm, that sounds like a challenge.” Her fingers trace up the back of Raven’s neck and into her hair.

“Abby,” Raven attempts, voice wavering on the warning.

Pressing her lips to the column of Raven’s neck, Abby knows the fight won’t last long. She’s already tilting her head to offer better access.

“Who is it?” Abby asks again, nipping playfully at Raven’s jawline.

“Come on, you really want me to break a promise to your kid?” Raven all but whispers, pressing Abby back into the counter, it beginning to bite into her back.

“Yep,” Abby breathes, dragging her lips up to the spot right under Raven’s earlobe. The spot the has made Raven crumble beneath her so easily so many times.

Raven gasps, fingers flexing and digging into Abby’s hips a bit more harshly. “You don’t play fair.”

“You aren’t really complaining about it.”

“Fine, fine. You win.” Sighing, Raven pulls back, pursing her lips. “You seriously want to know?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Abby groans out, head tilting to the side. “Stop avoiding.”

“Lexa.”

In honesty, Abby knows she shouldn’t really be shocked. Lexa and Clarke had been close since they had been introduced as toddlers, when Abby and Indra had met. They were always together, and she recalls how Clarke would always blush when Lexa and she were playing and-

_Oh god._

Shaking her head, Abby lets her eyes drop for a moment, “I feel so oblivious.”

“I mean, you kind of were,” Raven agrees. “I hung out with them for one afternoon and evening and could tell.”

“Thanks,” Abby replies sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she moves from the counter.

“I didn’t mean it badly,” Raven adds, following Abby as she moves out the kitchen. “Come on, you probably did what all mothers do.”

“Which is?”

“Picture your kid as just that, a _kid_.”

Abby turns, looking over Raven. There’s a lot of vulnerability there, and Abby knows exactly why.

They never talk much about Raven’s mother. It isn’t that Abby doesn’t want to know, it’s more so that she’d rather Raven open on her own time. Her opening up about Finn is evidence enough that, when she feels comfortable, she will open up about her past eventually. For now though, all Abby knows is Raven’s mother wasn’t around much at all and she found a surrogate family in those surrounding her.

“Or, that’s what I figure a parent does,” Raven continues, clearing her throat. “You just see her as someone who won’t grow up, will be the baby you had for forever, right?”

Abby nods, biting her lip, careful not to say anything and have Raven doubtful of her fairly accurate observation.

“You never think she’ll get older, get a driver’s license, let alone have a crush on her best friend.” Raven moves closer, wrapping her arms back around Abby’s waist, pulling her closer. “You’re not oblivious, just a mom who sees what she wants to see.”

Chuckling, Abby shakes her head, hands trailing up the strong arms holding her. “I don’t know if that makes me feel much better.”

Shrugging, Raven rests their foreheads together. “She’ll talk to you about it eventually, you know. She probably doesn’t even realize it herself.”

“Probably,” Abby agrees. “She got a few of my bad traits, obliviousness being one of them.”

“Not oblivious, just choosey in what you see.”

“Still not positive,” Abby laughs out, hands cupping the back of Raven’s neck. “She knows about us too, you know.”

“Who doesn’t at this point?” Raven sighs, eyes shutting as she brushes her nose against Abby’s. “We have too observant of friends in our lives.”

“Agreed,” Abby sighs, eyes tracing the bits of worry on Raven’s face. “I think the only person who doesn’t know is Kane.”

“Probably.” Biting her bottom lip, Raven grips Abby’s waist a bit tighter before she opens her eyes, “It just sucks. They know, but we can’t even be a couple around them.”

“We knew what we were getting into.”

“Doesn’t mean it can’t suck.”

Abby hums in agreement, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Raven’s lips. “I know.”

Sighing, Raven leans in for another quick kiss. “I just wish we could get away, you know? Some place where we aren’t Dr. Griffin and Raven the student. Where we don’t have to stay inside the entire time because god forbid someone see us out together.”

Just like that, a light went off in Abby’s head, causing her to pull back a bit to look to Raven. “Do you want to?”

“Do I want to what?” Raven questions, brows furrowed.

“Get away,” Abby clarifies. “There’s a holiday weekend coming up; a four day weekend. We could go somewhere.”

Raven laughs, obviously intrigued, but unbelieving as she tilts her head. “Yeah, but where would we go? I mean, we don’t have many options.”

“This oversized house isn’t the only thing my mother left me. There’s a beach cabin, about four hours from here, we could go there.”

She knows she sounds hopeful and pleading, but Abby hates this too. Yes, the pair knew what they were getting into, but the cost and impact were both unknown. Now that they are in this situation, Abby can see the bits of stress added to Raven, the sadness at being unable to share her happiness with her friends. She sees it because she feels the same way, regardless of if either wants to admit it or not. Nights of watching stupid movies and sleeping in Abby’s over sized bed were nice, but she can’t blame Raven for wanting a little more, even if she is content now.

Raven’s eyes are looking over her, as if looking for a lie masked in the offer, but then her eyes light up just slightly and hints of a smile ghost her lips. “You’re serious?”

Abby nods, “It’s a holiday for Clarke too, and Jake always gets her for the long weekends, so she’d be fine. We could drive up there after you finish your classes, and we’d be back by Monday evening.”

The plan is a solid one, and Abby has been to that cabin plenty of times to know that they’d be safe. The town it’s in is nothing more than a resort town anyway, and with it still being winter, the likelihood of them seeing someone they recognized was practically diminished.

The smile on Raven’s face is growing wider, and she bites her lip. It’s a look that Abby decides is the one she wants to always keep on the other woman’s face.

“Yeah,” Raven finally says, nodding her head. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

Smiling widely, Abby pulls Raven forward, capturing her lips. The kiss is returned, with enough force that Abby is forced backwards, a soft yelp escaping her lips as the pair falls over the back of the couch.

She could be mad as a glass falls onto the carpeted hardwood and shatters, mad as Raven’s knee hits her in her stomach and part of her brace scratches the other. Instead, Abby just finds herself laughing, because this is so domestic and simple and sweet that she can’t find it in herself to care anymore. She had been wrong when she thought being with Raven was her daring and adventurous side coming back out. No, it was Abby finally letting herself be happy again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so, I'm moving and being trained next week and I will probably not update then. Hopefully I will be able to find a bit of time to write, but if not, I'm super sorry. Good news is that after next week things should be back to normal. We only have four chapters left, and I am so happy for all of you who have stuck around for the ride!


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